Drama around MS girls group costume

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s our story. My DD was planning to join 2 friends in a group costume and TOT in their neighborhood (parents were planning to potluck together). My DD asked if they could include friend #4 (who had no plans) and was told ‘no absolutely not’ by the girls AND one mom because they don’t like her. So my DD decided to go with girl #4 in our neighborhood. I received a follow up text from mean mom on Halloween to confirm that we would not be visiting their neighborhood that night, because she had heard from her daughter we were still planning to. The whole situation left me feeling disappointed, mostly in mean mom. I’m hoping this stuff gets better by high school!

I'm sorry but your daughter is fault here. She made plans and reneged on them.

NP. Disagree. Unless girl #4 has done something horrible to the other two girls, there is no reason not to include her. Sounds like girls 1 and 2 (and the mom) were too mean to do that, so the DD was kind. It's not like it's a random Saturday night; it's Halloween and it can be sad to be alone. Good on the DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s our story. My DD was planning to join 2 friends in a group costume and TOT in their neighborhood (parents were planning to potluck together). My DD asked if they could include friend #4 (who had no plans) and was told ‘no absolutely not’ by the girls AND one mom because they don’t like her. So my DD decided to go with girl #4 in our neighborhood. I received a follow up text from mean mom on Halloween to confirm that we would not be visiting their neighborhood that night, because she had heard from her daughter we were still planning to. The whole situation left me feeling disappointed, mostly in mean mom. I’m hoping this stuff gets better by high school!

I'm sorry but your daughter is fault here. She made plans and reneged on them.

NP. Disagree. Unless girl #4 has done something horrible to the other two girls, there is no reason not to include her. Sounds like girls 1 and 2 (and the mom) were too mean to do that, so the DD was kind. It's not like it's a random Saturday night; it's Halloween and it can be sad to be alone. Good on the DD.

New-new poster and disagree. The girl tried to invitee a friend to someone else's house, and when the host wasn't comfortable she cancelled established plans. That's rude. A host has a right to decline extra guests no matter the reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s our story. My DD was planning to join 2 friends in a group costume and TOT in their neighborhood (parents were planning to potluck together). My DD asked if they could include friend #4 (who had no plans) and was told ‘no absolutely not’ by the girls AND one mom because they don’t like her. So my DD decided to go with girl #4 in our neighborhood. I received a follow up text from mean mom on Halloween to confirm that we would not be visiting their neighborhood that night, because she had heard from her daughter we were still planning to. The whole situation left me feeling disappointed, mostly in mean mom. I’m hoping this stuff gets better by high school!

I'm sorry but your daughter is fault here. She made plans and reneged on them.

NP. Disagree. Unless girl #4 has done something horrible to the other two girls, there is no reason not to include her. Sounds like girls 1 and 2 (and the mom) were too mean to do that, so the DD was kind. It's not like it's a random Saturday night; it's Halloween and it can be sad to be alone. Good on the DD.

New-new poster and disagree. The girl tried to invitee a friend to someone else's house, and when the host wasn't comfortable she cancelled established plans. That's rude. A host has a right to decline extra guests no matter the reason.

NP. That's not what I interpreted - looks like the parents were going to have a potluck but kids were going TOT in that neighborhood. The DD and girl could have joined that group and then girl 4 gone back while the rest had met up at that house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s our story. My DD was planning to join 2 friends in a group costume and TOT in their neighborhood (parents were planning to potluck together). My DD asked if they could include friend #4 (who had no plans) and was told ‘no absolutely not’ by the girls AND one mom because they don’t like her. So my DD decided to go with girl #4 in our neighborhood. I received a follow up text from mean mom on Halloween to confirm that we would not be visiting their neighborhood that night, because she had heard from her daughter we were still planning to. The whole situation left me feeling disappointed, mostly in mean mom. I’m hoping this stuff gets better by high school!

I'm sorry but your daughter is fault here. She made plans and reneged on them.

NP. Disagree. Unless girl #4 has done something horrible to the other two girls, there is no reason not to include her. Sounds like girls 1 and 2 (and the mom) were too mean to do that, so the DD was kind. It's not like it's a random Saturday night; it's Halloween and it can be sad to be alone. Good on the DD.

New-new poster and disagree. The girl tried to invitee a friend to someone else's house, and when the host wasn't comfortable she cancelled established plans. That's rude. A host has a right to decline extra guests no matter the reason.

NP. That's not what I interpreted - looks like the parents were going to have a potluck but kids were going TOT in that neighborhood. The DD and girl could have joined that group and then girl 4 gone back while the rest had met up at that house.

Well that would have been super awkward! My rules for my kids are "if you make plans, you keep them." You don't go chasing the next best thing.

[Anonymous]

Too many parents are way to invested in everything their kids do.

[Anonymous]

Please tell us about the mom's bad actions!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s our story. My DD was planning to join 2 friends in a group costume and TOT in their neighborhood (parents were planning to potluck together). My DD asked if they could include friend #4 (who had no plans) and was told ‘no absolutely not’ by the girls AND one mom because they don’t like her. So my DD decided to go with girl #4 in our neighborhood. I received a follow up text from mean mom on Halloween to confirm that we would not be visiting their neighborhood that night, because she had heard from her daughter we were still planning to. The whole situation left me feeling disappointed, mostly in mean mom. I’m hoping this stuff gets better by high school!

I'm sorry but your daughter is fault here. She made plans and reneged on them.

BS. My DD was girl #4 in a similar scenario. She is new at her school and hasn't found a group yet, but has a friend at a different school. She was making plans with this friend, #1, who was also making plans with her own 2 friends from school, girls #2 and #3. Girl #1 brought my DD into her group and they were all fine with it even thought the other two didn't know her. Mean mom doesn't have to be a total B about it, let the girls do their thing. Unless there is something behind the "absolutely not" they are just being miserable and cruel, who cares if one more girl comes along?

[Anonymous]

As a counter to all the "girls are awful" stories. My MS daughter went ToTing with 2 friends and there was ZERO drama. They planned it, moms confirmed the host mom was ok with it. They went and that was it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm really curious about what happened. Spill the details so we can be prepared when my kid gets older.

they decided as a group that they would dress as famous figure skaters

but one stole another's ice skates (she actually is a skater) and wore them on pavement and ruined them

then mom was mad only one girl looked like a 'real' skater so she bought everyone skates and another mom was angry because she didn't want to reimburse for skates when her daughter is not an ice skater.

I don't believe this. You can't walk around all night on skates. Its worse than wearing high heels.

+1 Troll fail

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I hate the group costumes. I’ve seen it cause a lot drama: what the theme will be, who gets to be what character, once the characters are assigned and someone else what to join, they get excluded bc their costume doesn’t “fit”

It’s all so dumb. Just

This. And it’s encouraged by the exclusionary moms who claim their kids don’t have to be friends with “everyone” and therefore are totally fine excluding anyone they want to!

[Anonymous]

Happy this holiday is over...three different groups, three different group costumes, all tried to go together. My DD is the only one who has strong friendships in all groups...she ended up feeling left out. No good deed goes unpunished!

[Anonymous]

Halloween is the dumbest holiday, overtaking Valentine’s Day some time around 2007.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s our story. My DD was planning to join 2 friends in a group costume and TOT in their neighborhood (parents were planning to potluck together). My DD asked if they could include friend #4 (who had no plans) and was told ‘no absolutely not’ by the girls AND one mom because they don’t like her. So my DD decided to go with girl #4 in our neighborhood. I received a follow up text from mean mom on Halloween to confirm that we would not be visiting their neighborhood that night, because she had heard from her daughter we were still planning to. The whole situation left me feeling disappointed, mostly in mean mom. I’m hoping this stuff gets better by high school!

I just don't understand. When did Halloween get so serious?

Welcome to 2025.

When I was a tween/teen, Halloween costumes were whatever we threw together with stuff at home. Friends went out or would find each other in the neighborhood as they went. Parents stayed home and passed out candy and cleaned the kitchen.

Now it’s group costume hell with a lot planning and buying staff and parent parties at various houses.

Same for homecoming and other occasions. It’s a full days worth of “events” now. Everything is over the top for social media