How often do you have good dinner conversation?

[Anonymous]

They like to discuss politics, news, but mostly they like to talk about curious situations with other students or teachers and get input from siblings and parent.

[Anonymous]

DD, 13, mostly engages in polite conversation about her day, classmates, and what's happening that week. Better conversations usually happen one-on-one, after homework has been completed and she has had some down time (We eat early and right after her after school activities, between 5:30pm & 6:00pm.) She's an introvert and so is DH. I have learned not to force it as she will open up when she wants and definitely knows how to behave in other homes and holds her own in conversations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always thought that when my kids became teens, we would have lots of interesting and intellectual dinner conversations about current events, what's happening at school, things they're learning, etc.

In reality this almost never happens.

Many nights DH is working late or traveling and if he is there, he just wants light conversation. My teens (15 and 17) mostly don't want to talk and give short answers to questions. This reduces my motivation for conversation, and I'm also tired at the end of the day and after having cooked a meal, and so a lot of times we will either just make light conversation or even just quietly eat.

I know this is fine and that it's an accomplishment just to sit down for dinner together, but wondering if any others manage to actually have interesting conversations and what your secret is?

Lol you watched one too many commercials centered around a dining table with everyone smiling as they dig into their salad and chicken

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would suggest why the expectation of deep and interesting dinner conversations just isn’t realistic with teens, or heck, with many people. As you said everyone’s tired. Your DH after work, you after cooking, the kids after a day of high school and possibly other activities.

Keep it light and fun. No need to make the dinner table a recreation of the Kennedys or the Emanuels. Enjoy the time with each other at the end of a busy day, and let the deeper conversations arise organically.

OP here. Haha, yes I probably am trying to recreate the Emanuels.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks for everyone's thoughts! Seems like some of this is more about personality than creating the right environment. Also interesting to hear that some grew up with this being forced on them and they didn't appreciate it.

I'll try to take some of the pressure off myself and just enjoy it as a moment of being together.

[Anonymous]

My best conversations with my kids were usually in the car, whether driving to/from school, or to/from sports practices. I also loved college visiting - it seemed to prompt a lot of good discussions and they were a captive audience for a few days. We did have family dinner most nights but that was usually light conversations.

My kids are now adults and now we can have intellectual conversations at the dinner table. We can also talk about sports, fashion, pop culture, whatever.

[Anonymous]

We talk every night and a lot of it is about whatever is happening with them. I’m just happy if they listen to each other, lol.

We get into deeper conversations when stuff is happening in the world and they want to discuss. It’s been a lot lately, given everything. Our kids are 14,12 and 9

[Anonymous]

200 Teens Conversation Cards -... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09MDW69W9?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Check out these conversation starters from this kit on Amazon. Yes, some questions may sound cheesy but it has worked for us. We use it mostly on weekends where the kids have more time and are more relaxed , not on a weekday where we barely have time to eat between homework and sports practices.

[Anonymous]

Every dinner. 2 teens.
We’ve always prioritized eating dinner together. No electronics or books at the dinner table.
It’s just a habit now for them so there’s no pushback.
I love dinner with the family and the conversation. So interesting. I learn new things everyday. DH eats with us but not as into the conversation. It’s ok, I love talking with my kids and they like talking to each other and to me. Everyday, It’s so fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best conversations with my kids were usually in the car, whether driving to/from school, or to/from sports practices. I also loved college visiting - it seemed to prompt a lot of good discussions and they were a captive audience for a few days. We did have family dinner most nights but that was usually light conversations.

My kids are now adults and now we can have intellectual conversations at the dinner table. We can also talk about sports, fashion, pop culture, whatever.

Agreed. We just have young teens so far (and an elementary). We eat together every night but mostly just talk formulaically about our days. The car is where the deep conversations take place

[Anonymous]

We usually talk about their day/week etc. we try to eat together most nights but different sports schedules and homework loads often lead to one parent/one child dinners.

We drive them a lot and I found most of the intellectual conversations/convos about government/life etc happen from questions they ask when we are driving. My H would say the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are nuts.

Yes, I agree many are. I’m the brow gel and cookie conversation poster.

Those who have regular deep conversations, please tell us the topics.

What is nuts about conversing with your kids? The topics will vary because people are different and the dynamics change based on the combo of who’s at the table. In our house, Sephora brow gel would be dead in the water, even with my teen girl. But we could talk about cookies for a while. Everyone likes cookies.

Especially big blobs like you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are nuts.

Yes, I agree many are. I’m the brow gel and cookie conversation poster.

Those who have regular deep conversations, please tell us the topics.

What is nuts about conversing with your kids? The topics will vary because people are different and the dynamics change based on the combo of who’s at the table. In our house, Sephora brow gel would be dead in the water, even with my teen girl. But we could talk about cookies for a while. Everyone likes cookies.

Especially big blobs like you

Sorry your teens don’t like you. Work on that. Don’t lash out at me.

[Anonymous]

We don’t have amazing conversations. I have two 14 year olds. It varies! One of my friends whose kids were at the same middle school was saying how they have these amazing conversations about literature and history (relates to learning at school), and I was like, “mine argue over who gets to put their feet on the table pedestal and usually kick each other repeatedly”. We are mature, engaged parents, But sometimes you get what you get.