How bad is cosleeping?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not good for the child but you have done it too long to change now. Your best hope for transition is when your child is old enough for a real bed and you can make a big deal about how she is a big girl and gets her own bed.

Where did you get the idea it’s not good for the child? It’s been done for centuries of human history and people have been just fine.

Co sleeping gives children a sense of security and love which is great for them.

[Anonymous]

It hasn’t been done for centuries by choice! It’s because people didn’t have the option of a separate room. It doesn’t mean it was good for a child’s development and sense of self. But it does fit in nicely with DCUM’s snowplow and helicopter parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It hasn’t been done for centuries by choice! It’s because people didn’t have the option of a separate room. It doesn’t mean it was good for a child’s development and sense of self. But it does fit in nicely with DCUM’s snowplow and helicopter parenting.

Snowplow???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It hasn’t been done for centuries by choice! It’s because people didn’t have the option of a separate room. It doesn’t mean it was good for a child’s development and sense of self. But it does fit in nicely with DCUM’s snowplow and helicopter parenting.

Snowplow???

Push every challenge aside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It hasn’t been done for centuries by choice! It’s because people didn’t have the option of a separate room. It doesn’t mean it was good for a child’s development and sense of self. But it does fit in nicely with DCUM’s snowplow and helicopter parenting.

People who grow up being able to trust their parents, feeling secure and loved, will respect themselves and treat others kindly. One of the great outcomes of co sleeping. And I’ve seen this going on to the second generation in my family now.

I’ve seen my kids and their friends grow up to be adults and I see how early parenting affected a lot of kids over the years. The kids who had the most problems tended to have parents that were more stand off-ish and were big on kids being “independent” and spending time separate from parents. The friends that I know co slept when they were little are strong and happy adults with kids of their own now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It hasn’t been done for centuries by choice! It’s because people didn’t have the option of a separate room. It doesn’t mean it was good for a child’s development and sense of self. But it does fit in nicely with DCUM’s snowplow and helicopter parenting.

People who grow up being able to trust their parents, feeling secure and loved, will respect themselves and treat others kindly. One of the great outcomes of co sleeping. And I’ve seen this going on to the second generation in my family now.

I’ve seen my kids and their friends grow up to be adults and I see how early parenting affected a lot of kids over the years. The kids who had the most problems tended to have parents that were more stand off-ish and were big on kids being “independent” and spending time separate from parents. The friends that I know co slept when they were little are strong and happy adults with kids of their own now.

I think you see what you want to see

Two generations of cosleeping? What else are you going to think

[Anonymous]

Sounds like it’s working for you. It’s absolutely lovely when it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It hasn’t been done for centuries by choice! It’s because people didn’t have the option of a separate room. It doesn’t mean it was good for a child’s development and sense of self. But it does fit in nicely with DCUM’s snowplow and helicopter parenting.

People who grow up being able to trust their parents, feeling secure and loved, will respect themselves and treat others kindly. One of the great outcomes of co sleeping. And I’ve seen this going on to the second generation in my family now.

I’ve seen my kids and their friends grow up to be adults and I see how early parenting affected a lot of kids over the years. The kids who had the most problems tended to have parents that were more stand off-ish and were big on kids being “independent” and spending time separate from parents. The friends that I know co slept when they were little are strong and happy adults with kids of their own now.

I think you see what you want to see

Two generations of cosleeping? What else are you going to think

Possibly. But if it works for someone, why not give kids a sense of safety and security? Why let other people’s opinions affect one’s choices?

Feeling secure in oneself and having a strong sense of self esteem are good and helpful characteristics that can make a big difference in a person’s life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It hasn’t been done for centuries by choice! It’s because people didn’t have the option of a separate room. It doesn’t mean it was good for a child’s development and sense of self. But it does fit in nicely with DCUM’s snowplow and helicopter parenting.

People who grow up being able to trust their parents, feeling secure and loved, will respect themselves and treat others kindly. One of the great outcomes of co sleeping. And I’ve seen this going on to the second generation in my family now.

I’ve seen my kids and their friends grow up to be adults and I see how early parenting affected a lot of kids over the years. The kids who had the most problems tended to have parents that were more stand off-ish and were big on kids being “independent” and spending time separate from parents. The friends that I know co slept when they were little are strong and happy adults with kids of their own now.

We didn’t co sleep, but that does not mean that we are stand offish. It’s not related, as much as you want to convince yourself that they are. We are very close to our teenagers, we can’t get them out of our house enough 😆 Don’t fool yourself that something that happens when the family is unconscious is related to their relationship when they are conscious.

[Anonymous]

You're a superior mother. Your child will NOT suffer from anxiety, depression, and inability to love themselves. Can't say same thing about your MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is 3 now and I still cosleep. It’s just so wonderful. I’m going to do it until she asks me to stop.

How does this work?

You both have the same bed time?

I can’t answer for PP but my cosleeping kid didn’t have trouble staying asleep if I tucked him in my bed, and went off to do the dishes or whatever.

He also didn’t have trouble with a babysitter tucking him into my bed if I was as out.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a wonderful arrangement that works well for you all. In many developed countries of the US, cosleeping is culturally the norm. When the time is right, she will move into her own bed. These years go by so fast- why rush it. Laugh off your MIL’s comments. Different strokes for different folks.

[Anonymous]

^outside of the US….

[Anonymous]

We started at 6 months. It was the best decision. Baby was happier and so was I! I started acting getting sleep and a lot of my PPD/PPA symptoms started to settle down. I also felt more connected and bonded to baby. We had a really rough nursing journey. So being her safe space when she was sleeping was so healing. Still my favorite thing in the world is her reaching her had to feel my face in the middle of the night and going back to sleep or pulling my shirt to bring herself closer and just sighing and sleeping.

She is the most independent baby during the day. Lots of solo playtime, always on the move, comes back for quick check ins and then is off to explore. She will happily go to others we know and she has a tiny bit of separation anxiety when we are somewhere new but at home or familiar places she's fine being put down and me walking away. I think she knows now that we will come if she signals and she's okay. But naps and night sleep she wants mom and she wants closeness. And I am so happy to give that for as long as she wants

[Anonymous]

We never had a need or desire to cosleep. DD always slept fine independently.

I don't think the sleep environment affects babies' emotional development, but sleep is very important for development so it is important to find a way to get them to sleep for their benefit and yours.

Just be aware of safety. Yes, people in other countries cosleep a lot. They also have very different beds that are low to the floor. You have to set up your bed so it is safe for the baby and that might not be the most comfortable environment for you. I know someone at the CSPC who reviews infant deaths and is ardently against cosleeping because of what he has seen.