Push for academic vs push for sports

[Anonymous]

What is CES?

[Anonymous]

Why can’t your kid do a sport and math competition? Our family rules are: every kid has to have at least one sport and one music. When they get older they will need to have a third extra — art, theatre, debate, etc. And we have no weekday screen time. There is no reason for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t your kid do a sport and math competition? Our family rules are: every kid has to have at least one sport and one music. When they get older they will need to have a third extra — art, theatre, debate, etc. And we have no weekday screen time. There is no reason for it.

I have 3 kids and our rule is one sport and one non-sport at a time per kid. My kids have picked music for their other activity, but they could have done academic enrichment or Scouts or similar.

As they've gotten older they've gotten more committed to each activity. For example school + non-school team in their sport that season, or school orchestra + private lessons. I don't think we could add anything else that wasn't a club meeting during the school day (which their school has).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t your kid do a sport and math competition? Our family rules are: every kid has to have at least one sport and one music. When they get older they will need to have a third extra — art, theatre, debate, etc. And we have no weekday screen time. There is no reason for it.

I have 3 kids and our rule is one sport and one non-sport at a time per kid. My kids have picked music for their other activity, but they could have done academic enrichment or Scouts or similar.

As they've gotten older they've gotten more committed to each activity. For example school + non-school team in their sport that season, or school orchestra + private lessons. I don't think we could add anything else that wasn't a club meeting during the school day (which their school has).

I’m PP and sounds like we have similar rules. I would let a kid drop music for another activity in middle school if they really dislike music. And I expect in high school if they’re not gifted at sports or music they might want to drop for other activities and I’d be ok with that as long as they are doing something and getting exercise. IMO it’s very important for kids at a young age to do something challenging that they have to work hard at and then experience the joy of accomplishing something that required that hard work.

[Anonymous]

We started exploring different activities and sports (team and individual) starting around kindergarten before our daughter settled on volleyball and lacrosse in 5th grade. We did dance/ballet, music, drawing/painting, martial arts, ice skating, skiing, biking, hiking, swimming, running, volleyball, and lacrosse.

We didn’t play organized sports in school but saw the benefits of them in our friends who did. In our professional work setting, we also see a correlation with people who are successful and those who played sports. As such, we encourage our DD to be active with sports. They are secondary to academics but and are an important part of life. Sports keep our daughter busy, provide a stress relief, force her to deal with setbacks, and keep her fit.

The key thing is to be patient and help/nudge them to find a sport that fits their personality. If you can find one where they have a lot of friends or classmates participating, it makes it more motivating for them to attend.

You still have plenty of time to explore. However, if your child has any aspirations to play a competitive sport in high school, they may have to start playing by 5th or 6th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your son want to do?

Op here. His top choice is staying home doing screentime and video games. He says that he does not mind doing a bit math enrichment, but he is the type that he needs to be reminded and pushed even though it is something that he says he loves it. He does not have much passion for anything specific yet. He does not mind doing sports but he sometimes does not want to go to practice or skip games to stay home watching screentime. Especially on super hot or rainy or pollen day, he would want to skip them. Once he is at the game/practice, he is fine. He does not know what he exactly wants to do.

Based on this OP, your priorities should be in the following order:
1. play dates and getting outside for unstructured time so he can develop social skills (he's in 3rd grade, don't tell me he doesn't need to develop social skills) and learn how to relax without a screen
2. sports (doesn't matter what kind)
3. music, language, or academic enrichment - as long as he buys in

+100 to this. The only thing I would add is:

Step 0. Eliminate screen time this summer and let him develop other unstructured interests (reading, biking around, building complex Lego sets, fiddling with tools)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Physical activity is important and screen time is bad.

We were a big sports family but we also ended up with two D1 athletes on scholarship. It was a lot of work for our children and for us to manage their athletic training schedule. I don’t recommend getting on that treadmill.

Find an activity your child enjoys. I would suggest a team sport of some kind if possible. Being part of a team fosters accountability, camaraderie, commitment and dedication.

Limit screen time at all costs. Heck, I’d buy a kid a dirt bike these days before I bought a gaming system.

To play the devil's advocate, I think team sports are overrated. There are other ways to learn to be a part of a team that don't involve the heartbreak of being cut or sidelined, and that don't break the bank or suck up all your family time. My last kid does individual sports and they are so much easier logistically as we can pick and choose what we want to attend.

I'm asking -- genuinely -- what other activities you would recommend at the ES age for learning to be part of a team (because my kid is not really enjoying any team sport)?

[Anonymous]

These math enrichment programs are bigger rackets and wastes of time than travel sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s the question? One of my kids is very gifted, and in elementary school, we don’t need to do anything extra. They read on their own, are adequately challenged in the gifted program, and take art classes. I don’t have to intervene much. However, I do push sports because I want them to be fit for life. They have gravitated towards sports that require less running, like golf and tennis, which is fine.

Pushing sports does not necessarily lead to fit for life. Not playing sports has nothing to do with who is active as an adult.

Is there a difference between gifted and Very gifted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the question? One of my kids is very gifted, and in elementary school, we don’t need to do anything extra. They read on their own, are adequately challenged in the gifted program, and take art classes. I don’t have to intervene much. However, I do push sports because I want them to be fit for life. They have gravitated towards sports that require less running, like golf and tennis, which is fine.

Pushing sports does not necessarily lead to fit for life. Not playing sports has nothing to do with who is active as an adult.

Is there a difference between gifted and Very gifted?

Playing sports doesn’t guarantee fitness for life, but it is self reinforcing. Competency and fitness in one skill leads to self confidence and ability to try another. Avoiding sports and activities lead to further avoidance.
That said, let them try a lot of different activities. It’s true that pushy parents lead to kids with problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Physical activity is important and screen time is bad.

We were a big sports family but we also ended up with two D1 athletes on scholarship. It was a lot of work for our children and for us to manage their athletic training schedule. I don’t recommend getting on that treadmill.

Find an activity your child enjoys. I would suggest a team sport of some kind if possible. Being part of a team fosters accountability, camaraderie, commitment and dedication.

Limit screen time at all costs. Heck, I’d buy a kid a dirt bike these days before I bought a gaming system.

To play the devil's advocate, I think team sports are overrated. There are other ways to learn to be a part of a team that don't involve the heartbreak of being cut or sidelined, and that don't break the bank or suck up all your family time. My last kid does individual sports and they are so much easier logistically as we can pick and choose what we want to attend.

I'm asking -- genuinely -- what other activities you would recommend at the ES age for learning to be part of a team (because my kid is not really enjoying any team sport)?

DP. Robotics and math competition teams would be one example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Physical activity is important and screen time is bad.

We were a big sports family but we also ended up with two D1 athletes on scholarship. It was a lot of work for our children and for us to manage their athletic training schedule. I don’t recommend getting on that treadmill.

Find an activity your child enjoys. I would suggest a team sport of some kind if possible. Being part of a team fosters accountability, camaraderie, commitment and dedication.

Limit screen time at all costs. Heck, I’d buy a kid a dirt bike these days before I bought a gaming system.

To play the devil's advocate, I think team sports are overrated. There are other ways to learn to be a part of a team that don't involve the heartbreak of being cut or sidelined, and that don't break the bank or suck up all your family time. My last kid does individual sports and they are so much easier logistically as we can pick and choose what we want to attend.

"Heartbreak"??? Ugh to that thinking! You know what else sports are good for? Giving kids the space and opportunity to fail. It's so important!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Physical activity is important and screen time is bad.

We were a big sports family but we also ended up with two D1 athletes on scholarship. It was a lot of work for our children and for us to manage their athletic training schedule. I don’t recommend getting on that treadmill.

Find an activity your child enjoys. I would suggest a team sport of some kind if possible. Being part of a team fosters accountability, camaraderie, commitment and dedication.

Limit screen time at all costs. Heck, I’d buy a kid a dirt bike these days before I bought a gaming system.

To play the devil's advocate, I think team sports are overrated. There are other ways to learn to be a part of a team that don't involve the heartbreak of being cut or sidelined, and that don't break the bank or suck up all your family time. My last kid does individual sports and they are so much easier logistically as we can pick and choose what we want to attend.

I'm asking -- genuinely -- what other activities you would recommend at the ES age for learning to be part of a team (because my kid is not really enjoying any team sport)?

Why do most of you think that kids have to learn how to be on a team?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t sign him up for formal academic enrichment bc I think it’s a scam. But I do think all parents, regardless of kids’ academic abilities, should be working with their kids daily on math and reading minimum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the question? One of my kids is very gifted, and in elementary school, we don’t need to do anything extra. They read on their own, are adequately challenged in the gifted program, and take art classes. I don’t have to intervene much. However, I do push sports because I want them to be fit for life. They have gravitated towards sports that require less running, like golf and tennis, which is fine.

Pushing sports does not necessarily lead to fit for life. Not playing sports has nothing to do with who is active as an adult.

Is there a difference between gifted and Very gifted?

Playing sports doesn’t guarantee fitness for life, but it is self reinforcing. Competency and fitness in one skill leads to self confidence and ability to try another. Avoiding sports and activities lead to further avoidance.
That said, let them try a lot of different activities. It’s true that pushy parents lead to kids with problems.

Thanks to parents, especially GenX and boomers, children's sports have become all about money. Kids actually have to try out for teams at very young ages instead of just signing up. When previous generations were just starting these kids now are quitting in droves.

Before parents got overly involved kids would get together on to play games. A football was all that was needed to play their own version of the game. Basketball hoops were everywhere. As soon as the ice froze kids were there with their hockey pucks and sticks.

In middle school structured sports started, high school had try outs, top players were recruited and went on to play in college and professional. Today not too many kids get to be leaders and form teams to play in the park. There is always an adult there. It becomes drudgery and 70-80% quit sports by 12 or 13 years old.

Kids under 9 years old can get plenty of exercise with friends and family. Playgrounds are made for exercise. Families can bike ride to a field or park with a ball. Swimming, running around. Exercise is easy that young. In middle school it gets tougher to keep kids active and unfortunately that’s the time when the great majority of them quit organized sports. Burnt out at 12 years old. This organized sports at such a young age has been a massive failure.