Why does my parents estate attorney want me to sign something with a notary present?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am intrigued by some of the details. Your mother is 15 years older than her husband. They married a few years after your dad died 40 years ago, when you were just 1. I guess your mother could have been in her 40s with a baby and married a man in his 20s. Unusual for sure. And they're still together 40 years later.

I always read these stories thinking of the other perspective. It's possible the mother and husband in this scenario are seeking to protect their estate.

Yes, my mother was in her 40’s and he was in his 20’s. In many ways he co-opted my mother since he had a very absent and dysfunctional mother. I was sent to boarding school at 10 years old (for disruptive kids) because I acted out from the neglect.

I have bitterness from the past, but it’s not about money. I would never challenge what they want to do with their money, and they have actually been very generous with me.

But it is hurtful to imagine they are trying to get me to sign something that is intended to go above and beyond to shut me out when I have never given indication I would be the kind of person to contest a will.

But maybe the PPs are right, and it could be anything. I like the idea to ask to have it sent to me in advance so I review it, potentially with an attorney just so I understand what I am signing.

I'm left with two conclusions based on what you're telling us. One is that where you live or where your mother lives is not in the United States and as such you need to speak to the lawyers of your country as it will have a different legal system and the advice on here are not recognizing a different set of laws surrounding inheritances. The other is that the mother and her husband are taking proactive steps to protect themselves from a disturbed family member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am intrigued by some of the details. Your mother is 15 years older than her husband. They married a few years after your dad died 40 years ago, when you were just 1. I guess your mother could have been in her 40s with a baby and married a man in his 20s. Unusual for sure. And they're still together 40 years later.

I always read these stories thinking of the other perspective. It's possible the mother and husband in this scenario are seeking to protect their estate.

Yes, my mother was in her 40’s and he was in his 20’s. In many ways he co-opted my mother since he had a very absent and dysfunctional mother. I was sent to boarding school at 10 years old (for disruptive kids) because I acted out from the neglect.

I have bitterness from the past, but it’s not about money. I would never challenge what they want to do with their money, and they have actually been very generous with me.

But it is hurtful to imagine they are trying to get me to sign something that is intended to go above and beyond to shut me out when I have never given indication I would be the kind of person to contest a will.

But maybe the PPs are right, and it could be anything. I like the idea to ask to have it sent to me in advance so I review it, potentially with an attorney just so I understand what I am signing.

I'm left with two conclusions based on what you're telling us. One is that where you live or where your mother lives is not in the United States and as such you need to speak to the lawyers of your country as it will have a different legal system and the advice on here are not recognizing a different set of laws surrounding inheritances. The other is that the mother and her husband are taking proactive steps to protect themselves from a disturbed family member.

Ok, Angela Lansbury. I am a VP at a F500 company living in the United States in a different state from my parents. So you are a tad off base.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am intrigued by some of the details. Your mother is 15 years older than her husband. They married a few years after your dad died 40 years ago, when you were just 1. I guess your mother could have been in her 40s with a baby and married a man in his 20s. Unusual for sure. And they're still together 40 years later.

I always read these stories thinking of the other perspective. It's possible the mother and husband in this scenario are seeking to protect their estate.

Yes, my mother was in her 40’s and he was in his 20’s. In many ways he co-opted my mother since he had a very absent and dysfunctional mother. I was sent to boarding school at 10 years old (for disruptive kids) because I acted out from the neglect.

I have bitterness from the past, but it’s not about money. I would never challenge what they want to do with their money, and they have actually been very generous with me.

But it is hurtful to imagine they are trying to get me to sign something that is intended to go above and beyond to shut me out when I have never given indication I would be the kind of person to contest a will.

But maybe the PPs are right, and it could be anything. I like the idea to ask to have it sent to me in advance so I review it, potentially with an attorney just so I understand what I am signing.

I'm left with two conclusions based on what you're telling us. One is that where you live or where your mother lives is not in the United States and as such you need to speak to the lawyers of your country as it will have a different legal system and the advice on here are not recognizing a different set of laws surrounding inheritances. The other is that the mother and her husband are taking proactive steps to protect themselves from a disturbed family member.

PP, what are you even talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am intrigued by some of the details. Your mother is 15 years older than her husband. They married a few years after your dad died 40 years ago, when you were just 1. I guess your mother could have been in her 40s with a baby and married a man in his 20s. Unusual for sure. And they're still together 40 years later.

I always read these stories thinking of the other perspective. It's possible the mother and husband in this scenario are seeking to protect their estate.

Yes, my mother was in her 40’s and he was in his 20’s. In many ways he co-opted my mother since he had a very absent and dysfunctional mother. I was sent to boarding school at 10 years old (for disruptive kids) because I acted out from the neglect.

I have bitterness from the past, but it’s not about money. I would never challenge what they want to do with their money, and they have actually been very generous with me.

But it is hurtful to imagine they are trying to get me to sign something that is intended to go above and beyond to shut me out when I have never given indication I would be the kind of person to contest a will.

But maybe the PPs are right, and it could be anything. I like the idea to ask to have it sent to me in advance so I review it, potentially with an attorney just so I understand what I am signing.

I'm left with two conclusions based on what you're telling us. One is that where you live or where your mother lives is not in the United States and as such you need to speak to the lawyers of your country as it will have a different legal system and the advice on here are not recognizing a different set of laws surrounding inheritances. The other is that the mother and her husband are taking proactive steps to protect themselves from a disturbed family member.

PP, what are you even talking about?

I shared that I was treated poorly as a child (sent to boarding school at 10 for “bad kids”, and PP concluded that I am “disturbed”.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a person who has tried to move on from childhood neglect. But that doesn’t mean you have to just sign whatever these people put in front of you. Ask them to email you a copy for your review. If they won’t do that, then you aren’t going to sign. If they do send it, pay a few hundred bucks for a lawyer to walk through it with you. A VP at a Fortune 500 can afford that.

And frankly, maybe you should consider contesting the will of you live in a state that doesn’t allow disinheritance of kids. But you can figure that out later. Just don’t waive that right now if that is what the request is.

[Anonymous]

"I am a VP at a F500 company ..."

OP, please let me know if your company is hiring. Because I find it hard to believe someone who is a vice president doesn't have an understanding of basic law.

The fact that you automatically assume they are trying to shut you out indicates you are approaching this issue with negativity and a good bit of paranoia. Especially since you have said they have been generous to you.

As others have mentioned, it could well be they are getting a trust set up and you may be trustee. Or executor. You are trip-wired to think the worse and are acting out on emotion not logic.

As a VP, you should know that any legal documents sent to you for signature needs a legal review. Or don't they do that at your Fortune500 company?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I am a VP at a F500 company ..."

OP, please let me know if your company is hiring. Because I find it hard to believe someone who is a vice president doesn't have an understanding of basic law.

The fact that you automatically assume they are trying to shut you out indicates you are approaching this issue with negativity and a good bit of paranoia. Especially since you have said they have been generous to you.

As others have mentioned, it could well be they are getting a trust set up and you may be trustee. Or executor. You are trip-wired to think the worse and are acting out on emotion not logic.

As a VP, you should know that any legal documents sent to you for signature needs a legal review. Or don't they do that at your Fortune500 company?

I'm not OP but people like you are truly exhausting. You should really try to spare other humans from interacting with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not under any circumstances sign this document!

She said she doesn’t care. So she should just sign.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you just come out and ask them this question? See how they respond.

I don’t get clear answers. They may not understand themselves.

Then ask to speak to their attorney about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if you are still the beneficiary of something of your father's and they would like you to sign away your beneficiary rights?

How do you find out something like this?
…if you’re supposed to receive an inheritance?

Anyone?

[Anonymous]

They can screw you over whether you sign it or not, so don’t sign. You could ask them questions to make them sweat. “So mom, you leave me nothing and want me to sign I won’t contest it. Why would you think this is a good idea for our relationship?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not under any circumstances sign this document!

+1

Unless it's a document saying you actually get something, don't sign. You can always contest and say she wasn't in her right mind. It sounds like she's not in her right mind and the age gap alone is evidence

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I am a VP at a F500 company ..."

OP, please let me know if your company is hiring. Because I find it hard to believe someone who is a vice president doesn't have an understanding of basic law.

The fact that you automatically assume they are trying to shut you out indicates you are approaching this issue with negativity and a good bit of paranoia. Especially since you have said they have been generous to you.

As others have mentioned, it could well be they are getting a trust set up and you may be trustee. Or executor. You are trip-wired to think the worse and are acting out on emotion not logic.

As a VP, you should know that any legal documents sent to you for signature needs a legal review. Or don't they do that at your Fortune500 company?

I'm not OP but people like you are truly exhausting. You should really try to spare other humans from interacting with you.

Exactly. When we did our estate and communicated everything to our kids. Our lawyer set up a family meeting. If her mom said offhandedly, please sign this, I’m sure there’s a reason she’s not disclosing what it is. People are so weird.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't sign it. Signing requires a level of cooperation with her plans, and why should you cooperate with her? Sounds like she didn't do much for you growing up. You may be signing away your right to some level of inheritance from a business your bio dad started. At the least, have a lawyer talk to their lawyer to find out what they want you to sign and if it's in your interest to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if you are still the beneficiary of something of your father's and they would like you to sign away your beneficiary rights?

How do you find out something like this?
…if you’re supposed to receive an inheritance?

Anyone?

My grandfather set up a trust, which went into effect 30+ years ago when he died. It was to stay intact until the [reason for est the trust was no longer at play]. His children were/are the beneficiaries of the trust, which is to be split evenly among his children. The children who died without heirs are not included in the distribution. My uncle died and his 3 kids will split his share. My parent died 18 years ago. I only heard about/provided my contact info 5 years ago when the executor died and a new one was named. The estate is currently being dissolved and efforts to contact all heirs are being made. The executor must make a good faith attempt to locate all heirs before dividing up their share. We are trying to find 2 cousins. We have tried social media, etc. Next step is PI, then move on. Hth