Tell me stories about how you succeeded despite the mean pretty girls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about ugly mean girls? Or are we only bashing pretty girls?

100%

+2. If it makes you feel any better OP, I’m in the reverse situation where I’m the pretty girl and the other girl constantly takes digs at me and snubs me because her husband has a harmless crush on me. It’s frustrating and isn’t fair, but a lot of women just can’t deal with other women in a mature and kind manner.

Oh man, I was friends with one of these girls in college. Flirted with everyone’s boyfriend then complained nobody liked her because “it’s harmless! You’re insecure!”

While I believe everyone is free to do whatever they want, I don’t stay friends with women who don’t abide by girl code. If someone’s husband had a crush on me, I would avoid him entirely and if I was around, pick my nose or talk about my period or whatever.

It doesn’t even take that much to shut down a friend’s husband.

PP probably encourages it for the ego boost. You know she’d be the first to freak out if her H started flirting with a hotter, younger woman. Beautiful women are always the most insecure.

No one’s flirting with your old husband, don’t be so insecure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about ugly mean girls? Or are we only bashing pretty girls?

Pretty sure that is what is going on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once had an encounter with a "pretty mean girl" in a work situation and it ended poorly for me. She poisoned people against me so by the time I felt ready to complain to anyone about her behavior towards me, they were predisposed to dislike me (because she'd been spreading rumors about me for months) and then I wound up looking petty and jealous. Which was frustrating because I wasn't -- I may not be as pretty as she was, but I was happily married, liked my job, and had good friends outside of work and a nice life.

It became intolerable enough that I eventually left because I just felt like no on liked me there and I knew people were talking about me behind my back.

I still don't know what it was about me that made her decide to go after me. She didn't want my job (which was a niche role she wasn't qualified for anyway -- they had to hire someone new when I left), she wasn't after my husband, and she was pretty and professionally successful.

It will always be a mystery to me. This was years ago and I've emotionally moved on but It was very upsetting for me for years. If I saw people from that job on the street, I'd duck into a store to avoid interacting with them, and I intentionally avoided industry events where I thought I might run into her for several years.

Why are some women like this? I truly don't get it.

Can almost guarantee that you were the problem, not her. And you totally lack insight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about ugly mean girls? Or are we only bashing pretty girls?

Pretty sure that is what is going on here.

This. I saw right through it with OPs "I'm the type that raises women up". Her post title says otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about ugly mean girls? Or are we only bashing pretty girls?

Pretty sure that is what is going on here.

Title of the thread.

[Anonymous]

A couple of terrible concepts on here:

raise women up
girl code

How old are you guys? Please stop. We're all human and fallible. We raise up everyone and have a general basic code of decency that applies to all.

[Anonymous]

What I've noticed is that certain insecure people blame the perceived "pretty girl" or "handsome boy" for flirting with their significant other, when they're just making normal conversation. If you have an issue with your significant other interacting with others, take it up with him or her.

One time my husband had a little crush on a charming and cute coworker. She was not at fault. Certain of my friends' husbands have had minor crushes on me - and everyone has been mature enough to not blame me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried taking off your glasses and whipping your hair out in slow motion?

Nothing gets to the mean pretty girls like when their boyfriend (played by Freddie Prinze Jr), the popular team football captain, suddenly notices you for the first time since the 8th grade.

Very good advice. Also, perhaps trip after you close your locker and stumble into his arms totally innocently

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried taking off your glasses and whipping your hair out in slow motion?

Nothing gets to the mean pretty girls like when their boyfriend (played by Freddie Prinze Jr), the popular team football captain, suddenly notices you for the first time since the 8th grade.

Very good advice. Also, perhaps trip after you close your locker and stumble into his arms totally innocently

Bend... and snap!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about ugly mean girls? Or are we only bashing pretty girls?

Pretty sure that is what is going on here.

This. I saw right through it with OPs "I'm the type that raises women up". Her post title says otherwise.

OP - I’ve had plenty of deep friendships with women, all professionals. We always encouraged each other and I never felt any jealousy or cattiness. I moved and made friends with this new woman and it just feels weird. She does talk about her looks a lot - that’s why I’m calling her a mean pretty girl - I am attractive but I don’t lead with that. Anything she’s accomplished I’ve congratulated her own. Mine, she either makes fun of or dismisses. I was going to go gray rock but she invited me out for lunch so I thought things were ok. It proceeded to be the weirdest lunch ever. We will be in each other’s professional and social circles so I can’t detach completely without being unprofessional or rude.

[Anonymous]

Half of America is a narcissist these days. They just think this is normal. Make yourself a brand, lift yourself up, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have a frenemy situation (not of my own doing). I don’t call her my frenemy really, I can just tell I am being snubbed by someone younger and prettier and more superficial than me. Not over a guy or anything. I try to be one of the women who raises other women up, but I feel insecure collective vibes coming from her, and she has a lot of not-so-subtle digs at me. Trying to tell myself that all will balance out in the end, right? Right??

Why are you so invested in this? Just ignore her and move on already. You are taking it into obsessive levels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about ugly mean girls? Or are we only bashing pretty girls?

100%

+2. If it makes you feel any better OP, I’m in the reverse situation where I’m the pretty girl and the other girl constantly takes digs at me and snubs me because her husband has a harmless crush on me. It’s frustrating and isn’t fair, but a lot of women just can’t deal with other women in a mature and kind manner.

Oh man, I was friends with one of these girls in college. Flirted with everyone’s boyfriend then complained nobody liked her because “it’s harmless! You’re insecure!”

While I believe everyone is free to do whatever they want, I don’t stay friends with women who don’t abide by girl code. If someone’s husband had a crush on me, I would avoid him entirely and if I was around, pick my nose or talk about my period or whatever.

It doesn’t even take that much to shut down a friend’s husband.

PP everyone is responding to. You all are making a lot of assumptions here. I do shut him down, I want nothing to do with him and beeline toward my husband or friends whenever he comes near me. He makes me really uncomfortable. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t still have a crush and his wife doesn’t like it. She makes me wrong for her husbands sins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
A couple of terrible concepts on here:

raise women up
girl code

How old are you guys? Please stop. We're all human and fallible. We raise up everyone and have a general basic code of decency that applies to all.

You just criticized the concepts then paraphrased them packaged as your own advice. Pick a lane.

OP, just act like you don't notice and soon you won't. She will only use this as currency if there is a payoff. Don't give her a payoff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about ugly mean girls? Or are we only bashing pretty girls?

100%

+2. If it makes you feel any better OP, I’m in the reverse situation where I’m the pretty girl and the other girl constantly takes digs at me and snubs me because her husband has a harmless crush on me. It’s frustrating and isn’t fair, but a lot of women just can’t deal with other women in a mature and kind manner.

Oh man, I was friends with one of these girls in college. Flirted with everyone’s boyfriend then complained nobody liked her because “it’s harmless! You’re insecure!”

While I believe everyone is free to do whatever they want, I don’t stay friends with women who don’t abide by girl code. If someone’s husband had a crush on me, I would avoid him entirely and if I was around, pick my nose or talk about my period or whatever.

It doesn’t even take that much to shut down a friend’s husband.

PP everyone is responding to. You all are making a lot of assumptions here. I do shut him down, I want nothing to do with him and beeline toward my husband or friends whenever he comes near me. He makes me really uncomfortable. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t still have a crush and his wife doesn’t like it. She makes me wrong for her husbands sins.

See this right here goes to all the posts about girl code. We want to say we all adhere to girl code but then accuse women like the poster above of being husband snatchers when in reality she doesn’t want the guy’s attention at all.

Seems we all have some learning to do when it comes to how we relate with other women.