Would you send a baby shower gift if

[Anonymous]

No. Not petty just they didn't think it was nessasary so why would you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:…the couple in question did not send you a wedding gift / bring a card?

Pertinent details:

- this is a family member
- I am not attending the shower (they did attend the wedding)
- the family member in question has plenty of money, and was in the same financial situation at the time of my wedding

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I don’t keep score.

+1

[Anonymous]

Who is the family member?

If it’s your brother or another male family member, I’d chalk it up to “men are idiots” and not punish his wife and child for it.

[Anonymous]

No, except if you are really good friends.

[Anonymous]

I think if you are not going to the shower you don’t have to get them a gift.

[Anonymous]

I really do not understand people who keep track of who gave them good gifts (or any) and gift accordingly. Only if this person was my parent or sibling would this stick in my brain.

[Anonymous]

Likely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:…the couple in question did not send you a wedding gift / bring a card?

Pertinent details:

- this is a family member
- I am not attending the shower (they did attend the wedding)
- the family member in question has plenty of money, and was in the same financial situation at the time of my wedding

I keep it simple with a big box of Huggies or Pampers Size 2 diapers, and some socks. Shows that I’m thoughtful but I don’t go broke or crazy buying baby gifts.

[Anonymous]

When I was in my 20s and still a connected offshoot to my family of birth, I cared about dumb stuff like this. Holding onto grudges, judging. Then I got older, have my own busy life, kids with special needs, happy marriage…. And I just don’t care or hold the grudge any’ore. And it’s not even because I’m bad at this stuff; I’m actually really good at sticking to the general rules about gifts and etiquette. But being older has taught me to give others a lot of grace, and realize these rules are dumb. People are doing what they can do, and either you want to be someone who does kind things or you don’t. I have the money, so I am happy to send gifts when people have babies, whether I’m invited to showers or not.

[Anonymous]

No. Pass.

[Anonymous]

I have trouble buying and sending gifts. I want to be better, but I am 42, so unlikely. I do not like to recieve gifts.

[Anonymous]

Do what you want, but I'd urge you to stop keeping score in your head as you just end up devoting mental energy to this and it's not worth it.

[Anonymous]

I would. I don’t have the energy to be this petty.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

1) I love sending shower gifts, and 2) extend a little grace -- who knows why they didn't give you a gift.