Allowing sports to rule your summer?

[Anonymous]

1. Your child is penalized with no playing time if you miss practice and especially if you miss a game.
2. You are already putting in a lot if time and money into their sport, so why miss it for something less important.
3. If your child is sick and you miss a practice or game, see #1.
4. Team sports teach valuable life lessons and leads older kids to stay out of trouble.
5. I am teaching my child that it's important to keep your commitments if at all possible.
6. Leagues don't care about calendars or convivence.
7. Decisions I make for my kids are non of your concern.

[Anonymous]

Why do you care

[Anonymous]

I tend to schedule things when I know my kids sports are over or at least the meet or tournament season is over. My kids have never played baseball but if it’s anything like soccer or gymnastics they are probably paying to go to that game whether they are there or not. We pay for tournaments and meets, we don’t just get to go. It’s also annoying to the other teammates and their coach when they end up not having enough players and have to get substitute players from other teams or just not play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it, either. Last summer we had a HUGE family reunion over Labor Day, planned more than a year out. My cousin’s son’s league season changed and his first football game started earlier than the years prior, and they gave up hotel deposit and nonrefundable airfare, all so her son could play in his first games that weekend. He was seven. They said he “really loves football”. Ok? And? I mean, what if he was sick? What if “insert anything”. He’s SEVEN!

Now they know. We've always had football games on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, and the football coaches have been the least flexible and understanding about players missing games. The last few years, we've left for a lake trip right after football, returning Monday evening.

Serious question: What if the kid is sick?

I wish there was a way to balance family life with unexpected sports commitments, like playoffs.

I similarly don’t like my kids to miss days of school for leisure, so we aren’t one to plan vacations during school, so I empathize and relate to prioritizing aspects of life. At the same time, it’s hard to both plan summer trips AND allow your kid to play team sports in the summer. I often wonder, what if we just play hooky? Same for school mental health days. Why can’t a kid have a day off from sports?

I don't know, OP. With football, I vowed I would never let him play in the first place, but here we are. He almost never misses a practice, and certainly not a game, because he loves it so much and is afraid of the coaches. We've missed other sports for family conflicts, though. It caused the most consternation when the kids were younger because I was unprepared as a parent for how much sports would interfere with family trips. Now I've accepted it.

It gives me pause whenever a child is “afraid” of a pillar of the community. I think this is a big issue. I’m not saying every coach is grooming a child, but this really toes the line, and it’s one foot in to the waters of manipulation.

My child doesn’t play sports, yet, but it would give me pause if my child said he was afraid of his coach. Am I overthinking? I feel like if this was a priest and an alter boy nobody would say “yes” to this question. I don’t remember being afraid of my little summer league coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m at a complete loss and I need someone with insight to help me understand.

My friend’s son is six and plays peewee city athletic league baseball. I’m unsure of all of the details but apparently this team always makes it to the playoffs, so they are anticipating that again this year—it’s her son’s first year. They have a long-planned vacation that starts two days before the “World Series” game, and she mentioned that if he makes it to the championship, they will cancel their trip, which means they will be out some event tickets that were pretty expensive.

Are parents really letting peewee sports dictate their lives like this? My child only vaguely remembers the rec basketball he played at age six, and he was all about it. I can’t imagine cancelling a vacation for his last game, especially in hindsight when I know it isn’t even something he really even remembers. I can’t fathom this at age six. I can’t make sense of it. Help!

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m at a complete loss and I need someone with insight to help me understand.

My friend’s son is six and plays peewee city athletic league baseball. I’m unsure of all of the details but apparently this team always makes it to the playoffs, so they are anticipating that again this year—it’s her son’s first year. They have a long-planned vacation that starts two days before the “World Series” game, and she mentioned that if he makes it to the championship, they will cancel their trip, which means they will be out some event tickets that were pretty expensive.

Are parents really letting peewee sports dictate their lives like this? My child only vaguely remembers the rec basketball he played at age six, and he was all about it. I can’t imagine cancelling a vacation for his last game, especially in hindsight when I know it isn’t even something he really even remembers. I can’t fathom this at age six. I can’t make sense of it. Help!

Yes

Sorry for being so flippant, but yes this how it is now. You can be part of that world or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m at a complete loss and I need someone with insight to help me understand.

My friend’s son is six and plays peewee city athletic league baseball. I’m unsure of all of the details but apparently this team always makes it to the playoffs, so they are anticipating that again this year—it’s her son’s first year. They have a long-planned vacation that starts two days before the “World Series” game, and she mentioned that if he makes it to the championship, they will cancel their trip, which means they will be out some event tickets that were pretty expensive.

Are parents really letting peewee sports dictate their lives like this? My child only vaguely remembers the rec basketball he played at age six, and he was all about it. I can’t imagine cancelling a vacation for his last game, especially in hindsight when I know it isn’t even something he really even remembers. I can’t fathom this at age six. I can’t make sense of it. Help!

Yes

Sorry for being so flippant, but yes this how it is now. You can be part of that world or not.

I have no desire to be, but the more helpful responses have been enlightening. I can now see it’s less about “Johnny really loves football” and more about the sense of community for the family as a whole. People prioritize things differently, and perhaps I have a different community, so the sports community doesn’t look as appealing, so it makes a lot more sense now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m at a complete loss and I need someone with insight to help me understand.

My friend’s son is six and plays peewee city athletic league baseball. I’m unsure of all of the details but apparently this team always makes it to the playoffs, so they are anticipating that again this year—it’s her son’s first year. They have a long-planned vacation that starts two days before the “World Series” game, and she mentioned that if he makes it to the championship, they will cancel their trip, which means they will be out some event tickets that were pretty expensive.

Are parents really letting peewee sports dictate their lives like this? My child only vaguely remembers the rec basketball he played at age six, and he was all about it. I can’t imagine cancelling a vacation for his last game, especially in hindsight when I know it isn’t even something he really even remembers. I can’t fathom this at age six. I can’t make sense of it. Help!

Yes

Sorry for being so flippant, but yes this how it is now. You can be part of that world or not.

I have no desire to be, but the more helpful responses have been enlightening. I can now see it’s less about “Johnny really loves football” and more about the sense of community for the family as a whole. People prioritize things differently, and perhaps I have a different community, so the sports community doesn’t look as appealing, so it makes a lot more sense now.

OP this post makes it clearer why you posted originally. Helpful.

[Anonymous]

OP, I wonder if you feel the same way about families who can't do anything between Thanksgiving and Christmas because of their kid's Nutcracker performances?

(Asking this rhetorical question because I'm wondering whether your issue is with the parents' life revolving around the kid, or sports.)

[Anonymous]

Summer swim kind of rules our summer. It is fun for my DD, gets her some exercise, and gets the family outside. Don't yuck someone else's yum.

[Anonymous]

This is probably not a popular take but I don't really see summer as "my summer" anymore. My kids are 6 and 8 and I can already see how quickly their childhood is going. These are super fun times where we are building family members while they still think I am cool and want to hang out with me. It is their summer, or at best, our summer. There will be time for me to plan around me again before I know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wonder if you feel the same way about families who can't do anything between Thanksgiving and Christmas because of their kid's Nutcracker performances?

(Asking this rhetorical question because I'm wondering whether your issue is with the parents' life revolving around the kid, or sports.)

I would feel the same way, yes. But I would have no issues if my kid missed a school concert at age six so we could attend a family vacation.

[Anonymous]

6 is young and I would also roll my eyes. But sports teams teach commitment, and they become a community. So by age 10 it's as important as a vacation. This year they might have been caught off guard but in future years I'm sure they just won't schedule the vacation. So you'll just hear that they are at the tournament.

If your kid is on the right team, it can feel like a vacation! I have great memories of sidelines and travel with other team families when my son was in elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m at a complete loss and I need someone with insight to help me understand.

My friend’s son is six and plays peewee city athletic league baseball. I’m unsure of all of the details but apparently this team always makes it to the playoffs, so they are anticipating that again this year—it’s her son’s first year. They have a long-planned vacation that starts two days before the “World Series” game, and she mentioned that if he makes it to the championship, they will cancel their trip, which means they will be out some event tickets that were pretty expensive.

Are parents really letting peewee sports dictate their lives like this? My child only vaguely remembers the rec basketball he played at age six, and he was all about it. I can’t imagine cancelling a vacation for his last game, especially in hindsight when I know it isn’t even something he really even remembers. I can’t fathom this at age six. I can’t make sense of it. Help!

Yes

Sorry for being so flippant, but yes this how it is now. You can be part of that world or not.

I have no desire to be, but the more helpful responses have been enlightening. I can now see it’s less about “Johnny really loves football” and more about the sense of community for the family as a whole. People prioritize things differently, and perhaps I have a different community, so the sports community doesn’t look as appealing, so it makes a lot more sense now.

Great now run along

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:6 is young and I would also roll my eyes. But sports teams teach commitment, and they become a community. So by age 10 it's as important as a vacation. This year they might have been caught off guard but in future years I'm sure they just won't schedule the vacation. So you'll just hear that they are at the tournament.

If your kid is on the right team, it can feel like a vacation! I have great memories of sidelines and travel with other team families when my son was in elementary school.

Yes, but also, what if you move? What happens to the “community” then? I mean, I get it, live in the “now”, but right now, I want to have time freedom while my kiddo is young. I guess I agree, but not at 6. They put WAY too much pressure on these little kids. Three years ago they were in diapers still, some of them. There is a time and a place for this sort of community.