Allowing sports to rule your summer?

[Anonymous]

I’m at a complete loss and I need someone with insight to help me understand.

My friend’s son is six and plays peewee city athletic league baseball. I’m unsure of all of the details but apparently this team always makes it to the playoffs, so they are anticipating that again this year—it’s her son’s first year. They have a long-planned vacation that starts two days before the “World Series” game, and she mentioned that if he makes it to the championship, they will cancel their trip, which means they will be out some event tickets that were pretty expensive.

Are parents really letting peewee sports dictate their lives like this? My child only vaguely remembers the rec basketball he played at age six, and he was all about it. I can’t imagine cancelling a vacation for his last game, especially in hindsight when I know it isn’t even something he really even remembers. I can’t fathom this at age six. I can’t make sense of it. Help!

[Anonymous]

Why do you need to make sense of it, exactly?

It's clear you wouldn't live this way - which is fine - and that your friend has already made up her mind. That's also fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to make sense of it, exactly?

It's clear you wouldn't live this way - which is fine - and that your friend has already made up her mind. That's also fine.

But why? What is it about sports? If it was literally any other thing, I feel like parents would justify a reason why their child would be ok missing it. People justify their kids missing an entire week of school to take a vacation, eleven ways to Sunday, but can’t justify letting little Billy miss his peewee baseball championship game? Why? He’s six, he will be ok and forget all about it by the time he’s having an ice cream cone on the beach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to make sense of it, exactly?

It's clear you wouldn't live this way - which is fine - and that your friend has already made up her mind. That's also fine.

But why? What is it about sports? If it was literally any other thing, I feel like parents would justify a reason why their child would be ok missing it. People justify their kids missing an entire week of school to take a vacation, eleven ways to Sunday, but can’t justify letting little Billy miss his peewee baseball championship game? Why? He’s six, he will be ok and forget all about it by the time he’s having an ice cream cone on the beach.

*six ways

[Anonymous]

It's not sports it's the lesson of being there for the team. It's a a very American thing. Some of us opt out of team sports for this reason and some of us are attracted to it for that reason.

[Anonymous]

And don't underestimate what 6 year olds get attached to.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get it, either. Last summer we had a HUGE family reunion over Labor Day, planned more than a year out. My cousin’s son’s league season changed and his first football game started earlier than the years prior, and they gave up hotel deposit and nonrefundable airfare, all so her son could play in his first games that weekend. He was seven. They said he “really loves football”. Ok? And? I mean, what if he was sick? What if “insert anything”. He’s SEVEN!

[Anonymous]

The parents need to realize that their kid won't remember most of their 6 year old life. So if they "sacrifice" themselves for some ridiculous sports team, they're stupid. But if it makes them really happy to continue with summer sport, then more power to them.

[Anonymous]

You don't need to understand it. It's important to them. I could list reasons why it’s important, but they still won't be important to you, so who cares? It's likely a social thing and a long play for them, they expect to be part od this circle for some time and are prioritizing it.

My family schedules vacation around my 10 year olds soccer team needs. I have not canceled anything, but have avoided scheduling. We like spending free time with the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to make sense of it, exactly?

It's clear you wouldn't live this way - which is fine - and that your friend has already made up her mind. That's also fine.

But why? What is it about sports? If it was literally any other thing, I feel like parents would justify a reason why their child would be ok missing it. People justify their kids missing an entire week of school to take a vacation, eleven ways to Sunday, but can’t justify letting little Billy miss his peewee baseball championship game? Why? He’s six, he will be ok and forget all about it by the time he’s having an ice cream cone on the beach.

Because they value what the "world series" game means for them and their kid. Because they view it as launching him to the next place in what they hope will be his baseball career. Because they love the team experience. Because the people they've met on the sidelines are their friends. Because the people on the diamond are his friends. Because they want the bragging rights of saying their kid was an all-star/in the tournament.

There are good and bad reasons but at the end of the day it's not your kid, not your family, so it doesn't matter.

We have a kid at our ES who has played multiple instruments at Carnagie Hall multiple times. I'm sure that kid's parents would cancel vacation for that. Same with, say, an elite chess player. Or the National Spelling Bee. So I disagree with your premise that "literally any other thing" people would do vacation instead.

[Anonymous]

I agree scheduling family time and competitive sports often conflict, but it's not your life. Why are you judging her spending and decisions? Maybe she doesn't care about that family activity as much and cares more about this baseball family activity. How does it affect you? Baseball in particular is harsh with scheduling and time commitment so you might as well learn to be ok with not agreeing on her about baseball decisions if you are going to be her friend. Eventually when kids start to be on a team, they have more leeway to skip for family commitments, but I can see how a first year's team that might be hard to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not sports it's the lesson of being there for the team. It's a a very American thing. Some of us opt out of team sports for this reason and some of us are attracted to it for that reason.

But that’s sort of BS because a kid’s life is dictated by the parents’ lives. Who is blaming a SIX year old because his parents have plans and he needs to be with them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to make sense of it, exactly?

It's clear you wouldn't live this way - which is fine - and that your friend has already made up her mind. That's also fine.

But why? What is it about sports? If it was literally any other thing, I feel like parents would justify a reason why their child would be ok missing it. People justify their kids missing an entire week of school to take a vacation, eleven ways to Sunday, but can’t justify letting little Billy miss his peewee baseball championship game? Why? He’s six, he will be ok and forget all about it by the time he’s having an ice cream cone on the beach.

Billy is 6, he’s going to forget everything eventually. So will your kids. Did you take them anywhere you thought might be fun or interesting? Why? Why bother, when he will forget.

I think people usually do this because the adults enjoy it, too. It wasn’t at 6, but I was surprised by how much I, who is completely uninterested in EVERY sport, enjoy watching my kid play basketball (and he’s only ok and they lose a lot). I can only imagine how fun it would be if the parent already genuinely liked the sport and their kid is good and the team is advancing. For many families, that’s a heck of a good time for all members, and not a hardship to forgo other activities. Hope that helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it, either. Last summer we had a HUGE family reunion over Labor Day, planned more than a year out. My cousin’s son’s league season changed and his first football game started earlier than the years prior, and they gave up hotel deposit and nonrefundable airfare, all so her son could play in his first games that weekend. He was seven. They said he “really loves football”. Ok? And? I mean, what if he was sick? What if “insert anything”. He’s SEVEN!

Usually my cousin comes and the in law doesn't come and stays with the kids when this happens. The in law actually doesn't want to come anyway so it's a win win for both of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not sports it's the lesson of being there for the team. It's a a very American thing. Some of us opt out of team sports for this reason and some of us are attracted to it for that reason.

But that’s sort of BS because a kid’s life is dictated by the parents’ lives. Who is blaming a SIX year old because his parents have plans and he needs to be with them?

There's a meme out there that goes:

"I was late for practice so the coach made me run laps. My dad's the coach. He drove me to practice."

The point is - in modern US sports culture even though kids are definitely reliant on their parents, those parental decisions are reflected back onto the kids.