Private practices

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a Safe Sport violation.
Specifically, it is labeled 'Bulling by Exclusion.'

You can report that here: U.S. Center For Safe Sport at www.safesport.org or 720-524-5640.

Your state soccer association may have a report line and technically it might be a federal offense.

I'd at least call out the club director and call the safe sport people, because that is some BS.

Love this. OP- please do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a Safe Sport violation.
Specifically, it is labeled 'Bulling by Exclusion.'

You can report that here: U.S. Center For Safe Sport at www.safesport.org or 720-524-5640.

Your state soccer association may have a report line and technically it might be a federal offense.

I'd at least call out the club director and call the safe sport people, because that is some BS.

Can u really. How does it work. Can they not just say they picked these girls because they think they are better. I would have thought they would pick these girls ones that need work to help. To be honest I think the whole team is close in skill, but the director and coach only want to help certain girls. So how does I do this, and what do I say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our Pre-ECNL club did this a few years ago. Teen girls don't need the adults in their lives to add drama. Definitely not cool and divisive.

Our Pre-ECNL club did this more recently. Had special training sessions before the season started for nearly every player (but not all). And the excluded was treated like trash once the season started. Then the doofus coach is shocked when he can’t hold a program together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t doubt that this happens. Most of the reputable clubs will not allow the current coaching staff to train kids on their team outside of standard practice in order to prevent this sort of situation. However, does your child want the extra work? Have you asked the coach how your child can be included? If there is no pathway to inclusion, there is a problem.

The “in” kids behavior is snobbish and elitist and should not be permitted but that is life. Your child can learn from the experience.

I would directly address the coach and the club. If no resolutions, you know what to do.

I would love to see a list of which clubs are reputable

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, I tell you what you won't see is parents of the players getting the attention acknowledging it OR agreeing with those who complain. That's ultimately is what feeds this problem. Youth soccer is too much a dog-eat-dog world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a Safe Sport violation.
Specifically, it is labeled 'Bulling by Exclusion.'

You can report that here: U.S. Center For Safe Sport at www.safesport.org or 720-524-5640.

Your state soccer association may have a report line and technically it might be a federal offense.

I'd at least call out the club director and call the safe sport people, because that is some BS.

You don’t have the guts to go against VRSC who uses these practices as tryouts for outsider girls. Flashy quick fix > real development

[Anonymous]

Honest question: who is the real bully? The parent who seeks inclusion for their kid who may not be ready/good enough for this group OR the club that wants to train/prepare a core group for success and the room to make such decisions?

One could see the different sides in this and depending how it's framed both sides could look good or bad. Maybe this is all about who's really in charge. Shouldn't it be the coaches vs. the overly involved parent?

That all said, there should be open communication and transparency about anything extra otherwise parents should be able to exert pressure by taking their money elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question: who is the real bully? The parent who seeks inclusion for their kid who may not be ready/good enough for this group OR the club that wants to train/prepare a core group for success and the room to make such decisions?

One could see the different sides in this and depending how it's framed both sides could look good or bad. Maybe this is all about who's really in charge. Shouldn't it be the coaches vs. the overly involved parent?

That all said, there should be open communication and transparency about anything extra otherwise parents should be able to exert pressure by taking their money elsewhere.

Absolutely right!!!!!

Reality check - Some players can hang and others can't! Coaches have to adapt to the team they have so maybe there is a core of players who want more and it's not possible with everyone. It can go 1 of 2 ways, the "excluded" kids can work hard and get better to reach that level OR parents can complain loud enough where the club will need to make similar training sessions for lesser kids.

No one likes to hear it but your kid might be the best to YOU but there are levels to it

[Anonymous]

Players are leaving because of mental health. These coaches need to learn to treat all equal. This is youth soccer not nwsl. If they are selecting girls for the team, then they can obviously hang. If not, then maybe they should not be selected. Maybe it’s a greed thing for the club. I don’t think it’s the girls that are the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question: who is the real bully? The parent who seeks inclusion for their kid who may not be ready/good enough for this group OR the club that wants to train/prepare a core group for success and the room to make such decisions?

One could see the different sides in this and depending how it's framed both sides could look good or bad. Maybe this is all about who's really in charge. Shouldn't it be the coaches vs. the overly involved parent?

That all said, there should be open communication and transparency about anything extra otherwise parents should be able to exert pressure by taking their money elsewhere.

Absolutely right!!!!!

Reality check - Some players can hang and others can't! Coaches have to adapt to the team they have so maybe there is a core of players who want more and it's not possible with everyone. It can go 1 of 2 ways, the "excluded" kids can work hard and get better to reach that level OR parents can complain loud enough where the club will need to make similar training sessions for lesser kids.

No one likes to hear it but your kid might be the best to YOU but there are levels to it

If a player "can't hang" vs. a player that "can hang" then separate them out into different teams. That is why travel sports has a 1st team, 2nd team, etc. However, once a kid is on a team assigned by the coach they have every right to get access to the same training. Any denial of such access can lead to great trouble for team, the coach and even the club.

[Anonymous]

I completely agree with you.. Clubs also push coaches to accept players because they have siblings in the club, clubs don't want to move kids from top to 2nd team the following year even if better players come out... It's all politics.. it's a business!!!

There has to be training for "elite" players and someone has to make that decision.

If they're paying extra for training, or they were selected then you just have to deal.

Find it hard to believe a team trains then half go home while the other half stays to train extra with their head coach and no one knows why it's happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I completely agree with you.. Clubs also push coaches to accept players because they have siblings in the club, clubs don't want to move kids from top to 2nd team the following year even if better players come out... It's all politics.. it's a business!!!

There has to be training for "elite" players and someone has to make that decision.

If they're paying extra for training, or they were selected then you just have to deal.

Find it hard to believe a team trains then half go home while the other half stays to train extra with their head coach and no one knows why it's happening.

They don’t train then half go home. They add another night of practice for only certain players. They will even have injured players be selected to come and watch over girls who are healthy and playing, because certain kids parents are good friends of the coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a Safe Sport violation.
Specifically, it is labeled 'Bulling by Exclusion.'

You can report that here: U.S. Center For Safe Sport at www.safesport.org or 720-524-5640.

Your state soccer association may have a report line and technically it might be a federal offense.

I'd at least call out the club director and call the safe sport people, because that is some BS.

Can u really. --Yes you can, really. How does it work. --You pick up the phone and have a conversation and make a report with facts. Can they not just say they picked these girls because they think they are better. --Sure they could, but according to the OP's story that is not what happened. I would have thought they would pick these girls ones that need work to help. --Sometimes that does happen, and it is called an Individual Player Development Plan. To be honest I think the whole team is close in skill, but the director and coach only want to help certain girls. -Then they have excluded kids, not based on Skill Level. So how does I do this, and what do I say? --You call the number and make a report. The Club leadership may not be away of what they are doing goes against SafeSport Guidelines and they may change and start to include everyone.

[Anonymous]

The coach that is running this team is a D certified coach. Ga says the coach needs to be a B. Not sure how he can be head coach. He things he is better then everyone. He coached the 08’s last year, and they lost every game. This year they have a new coach, and have not lost a game yet. He is very shady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I completely agree with you.. Clubs also push coaches to accept players because they have siblings in the club, clubs don't want to move kids from top to 2nd team the following year even if better players come out... It's all politics.. it's a business!!!

There has to be training for "elite" players and someone has to make that decision.

If they're paying extra for training, or they were selected then you just have to deal.

Find it hard to believe a team trains then half go home while the other half stays to train extra with their head coach and no one knows why it's happening.

They don’t train then half go home. They add another night of practice for only certain players. They will even have injured players be selected to come and watch over girls who are healthy and playing, because certain kids parents are good friends of the coach.

Not saying do this, BUT there's a parent at my club who would just start bringing their kid to this practice until they're allowed to participate.