Boyfriend feels insecure and takes it out on me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is kind of like if you had insecurities about your body and he showed you a TikTok of a model and said he hoped you would aspire to that some day.

That would probably make you feel even more insecure too.

I know people think men shouldn't have any insecurities and you should dump any guy who does but to me it would be no different from the above when he intentionally picked an insecurity - would people tell him to dump you if you were insecure about your body?

Everyone has insecurities, but a day long fight over it and having to walk on eggshells is the issue. And I don’t think the analogy to the body is correct. The man saying his wife made him want to earn money is a vignette about him wanting to exert effort (under his control) to support his family. It’s about committment and support. the female analogy would be something like the woman saying that getting married made her want to make a beautiful home for her husband or cook for him - nurturing, caretaking, commitment. Yes these are both gendered but neither is expressing something unattainable.

Exactly. That's a much better comparison. She was talking about his INTENTIONS and how she wants to inspire him. Nothing wrong with what she said

[Anonymous]

Life is way too short to put up with a constantly insecure man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life is way too short to put up with a constantly insecure man.

Or an insecure woman. If your partner - man or woman has any insecurities, take digs at those and if they react, dump them. No one wants a partner with insecurities.

[Anonymous]

It is really unfair for your boyfriend to take out his insecurities on you.

It is obvious that he has certain issues w/his self-esteem that he needs to figure out on his own.
Ideally he needs to see a therapist to find a constructive way to deal with his feelings but many guys would not set a foot into a therapist’s office.
Perhaps he has a friend or relative that he can discuss his issues with.

Let him know that he needs to find his own way to deal w/his insecurities because they are causing a huge strain on your relationship.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

You’re the dummy if you stick around

[Anonymous]

Dump him. It’ll only get worse.

[Anonymous]

My husband is very insecure and it is draining AF!! You will always have to coddle their emotions and they will always try to make you feel responsible for their insecurities! If I were not in love with my husband, some days I would consider leaving. It can be something as simple as getting upset because I sent a friend a picture of a famous entertainer that she likes. He felt it was disrespectful for me to do that especially since he looks nothing like this man and feels my friends are all wrong to do this in OUR group chat because they too are disrespecting their husbands! That's just one example.

[Anonymous]

Is this the guy that lied about his finances to you? He sounds crazy immature, and honestly you are wading through a sea of red flags. He’s shown you who he is.

[Anonymous]

So you know he’s insecure, and basically threw it in his face?

—DW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is very insecure and it is draining AF!! You will always have to coddle their emotions and they will always try to make you feel responsible for their insecurities! If I were not in love with my husband, some days I would consider leaving. It can be something as simple as getting upset because I sent a friend a picture of a famous entertainer that she likes. He felt it was disrespectful for me to do that especially since he looks nothing like this man and feels my friends are all wrong to do this in OUR group chat because they too are disrespecting their husbands! That's just one example.

Does he send pictures of models to his male friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this what dating feels like for younger women? I am really scared for my daughter if this is the kind of men she will come across. Anyways I don't think she will have that issue because I mostly raised her and she probably have too much "masculine energy" as a result and won't take this sh**t

And I hope your daughter is mature enough to not compare what she sees on social media to a potential real life partner, joking or not. As the mother of a teen boy, I know he gets to look forward to the young woman who's have been told (regardless of their situation or background) that their base standard must follow the 666 rule.

Oh please. The only ones pushing the 666 rule are red pillers who blame women for not wanting them - it’s really due to their incredibly horrific personality and treatment of others, but it’s easier to blame the women. Please don’t perpetuate this to your son, lest he turn into just another red pill incel loser living in mommies basement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is very insecure and it is draining AF!! You will always have to coddle their emotions and they will always try to make you feel responsible for their insecurities! If I were not in love with my husband, some days I would consider leaving. It can be something as simple as getting upset because I sent a friend a picture of a famous entertainer that she likes. He felt it was disrespectful for me to do that especially since he looks nothing like this man and feels my friends are all wrong to do this in OUR group chat because they too are disrespecting their husbands! That's just one example.

Does he send pictures of models to his male friends?

According to him, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend feels insecure about our relationship, according to him. Yesterday this manifested when I saw a Tiktok about some man saying meeting his wife and how it made him want to work to become rich. I said playfully something like "I hope you feel this way" and my BF got really upset. He accused me of being a golddigger and basically freaked out. The fight has lasted until today even though I tried to squash things. Finally he admitted that he feels insecure and "not good enough" and is afraid I'm going to leave him. Frankly, I feel exhausted. I do feel this is a big insecurity of his but I am sick of dealing with it or feeling like I have to walk on eggshells. He's constantly afraid I'm going to cheat on him or leave him, and it's just driving me away, I feel like it's a never ending cycle of this, no matter how many times I try to reassure him, it never works. I feel really drained. Would love to get other people's insights.

I assume you're both in your twenties