Middle age married zero sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious question: My DW has a low sex drive. I augment the acceptable way -- I go solo. Every chance I get. Why is that not an option for everyone?

Affairs are so incredibly complicated. Sex workers are expensive and honestly, ew. An orgasm is an orgasm. What's the big deal?

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread needs to be saved and re-posted every time someone claims sex is a need.

No, it isn’t.

You want sex. Your spouse has cancer. What did you think the “in sickness” part of your vows meant?

Truly you’re the least attractive man on all of DCUM today and I include the gross red-pillers in the politics forum. I hope you are a troll but regardless you’re truly disgusting.

OP said someone pretending to be him started talking about cancer.

[Anonymous]

I would consider the fact that you are conflict avoidant if you can't just have this conversation with your spouse. Do you fear her reaction because it will make you feel uncomfortable? So therefore, you'll just lie and potentially manifest the divorce that you say you don't want.

Honesty is your friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She has cancer. She needs to be on my health insurance, so we can’t get divorced. There is nothing to talk about in therapy. I will just sound like an a$$hole.

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious question: My DW has a low sex drive. I augment the acceptable way -- I go solo. Every chance I get. Why is that not an option for everyone?

Affairs are so incredibly complicated. Sex workers are expensive and honestly, ew. An orgasm is an orgasm. What's the big deal?

Seriously. Get to be friends with Rosie Palm and her 5 sisters and keep talking with your spouse.

Don't lie and break trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to be honest with your spouse first.

Get a hall pass. Ie; she grants you permission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So. I asked for therapy and she doesn’t want. I prefer not to divorce.

The honest thing is to divorce, but I don’t want it yet.

I see most people in unhappy marriages in that situation. If divorce and therapy are out of the menu of options, then what is the next step?

Just have an adult conversation with her.

Start by agreeing normal marriages are not “sexless” (a sexless marriage is defined by therapists as 12 or fewer incidents of coitus over a year).

Since that is not occurring, it’s reasonable and necessary to agree to sex counseling.

Alternatively, invite her to come along with you as you explore online-dating, so you can find a sex partner, since she is not interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:hahaha I did not see the cancer thing coming. Genuine lol.

Did not see it either.

Medical issues are when the “for better or worse, til death” kicks in. It is the ONE and only one time, when it’s excused not to have sex with the spouse you married.

You just have to tough it out, OP. And masturbate a whole lot, to keep your marriage intact.

Man here.

[Anonymous]

This is why you shouldnt get married as a (straight) man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re asking for the internet’s permission to cheat on a woman with cancer. Just sit for a moment with the fact that that’s where your life has gone.

Many, many men do that and also dump their wives with cancer. They’re just not posting on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hahaha I did not see the cancer thing coming. Genuine lol.

Did not see it either.

Medical issues are when the “for better or worse, til death” kicks in. It is the ONE and only one time, when it’s excused not to have sex with the spouse you married.

You just have to tough it out, OP. And masturbate a whole lot, to keep your marriage intact.

Man here.

Says who?
Woman here

[Anonymous]

There is an award winning psychological horror videogame called Silent Hill 2 about a guy's guilt for having sexual desires while his wife dies from illness.

What I'm saying is, acknowledge your feelings and unment needs, but don't punish yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hahaha I did not see the cancer thing coming. Genuine lol.

Did not see it either.

Medical issues are when the “for better or worse, til death” kicks in. It is the ONE and only one time, when it’s excused not to have sex with the spouse you married.

You just have to tough it out, OP. And masturbate a whole lot, to keep your marriage intact.

Man here.

Says who?
Woman here

- because, if there are no physical impediments, spouses of either gender have an obligation for intimacy in a marriage.

Granted, all sorts of “issues” can come up; resentment, infidelity, etc, but those are issues an adult couple takes to counseling.

[Anonymous]

Lmao

[Anonymous]

Sex is not a need, it’s a want. The same way wanting to stay married to someone who won’t have sex with you is a “want.”