Spouse cannot handle credit cards

[Anonymous]

I would divorce if my spouse is that clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF? I would just auto set them to pay the full amount.

We have tried that and spouse changes it. Just need other suggestions. I know, the whole thing is bizarre. I paid them off this morning. Hide card? What would you do?

It sounds like anxiety. Mental block indicates forgetfulness but they are actively not paying the cards if they are turning auto pay balance off. What would scare me is that they could be hiding other debt or have other unaddressed issues that could impact finances. I know this may sound extreme, but you may want to seek out a therapist or a financial therapist to discuss this with them since it’s an ongoing issue. And if you hide their card they’ll get a new card.

[Anonymous]

I don’t want to be the devils advocate, but credit card debt usually doesn’t happen overnight but accumulates over time.
How are you handling your finances otherwise?
Is it always the spouse who must pay for groceries or do you also contribute? Is it always the spouse paying for car repairs and restaurant meals, travel expenses?

[Anonymous]

Smart people can be really dumb with money. I have relatives who are brilliant, multi talented, successful people who have the financial discipline of a 5 year old.

[Anonymous]

This thread has to be a joke, right?

[Anonymous]

Did u sign a pre-nup?

[Anonymous]

I’d go in before the due date and pay the bill in full every month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly thing it’s something to do with his upbringing, like some sort of psychological scarcity. His mom told that their lights would be turned off because his father didn’t pay the bill. His dad was wealthy, his current home is $5million. He’s never gotten any kind of help from his parents, he’s even paid every penny of college himself. I have asked him and he says he just likes to see the money in cash. I told him how much interest that cost us and we could have taken a nice trip.

Is this OP? So it isn’t rational and based on childhood scarcity. You need to take over bill payment. $35k means he’s run the card up to it’s limit because he’s afraid the cash will run out someday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do people think the spouse is a man?

Because a man could be an idiot and still become a "high income, 500k salary professional" but a woman could not, and OP describes someone behaving like an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly thing it’s something to do with his upbringing, like some sort of psychological scarcity. His mom told that their lights would be turned off because his father didn’t pay the bill. His dad was wealthy, his current home is $5million. He’s never gotten any kind of help from his parents, he’s even paid every penny of college himself. I have asked him and he says he just likes to see the money in cash. I told him how much interest that cost us and we could have taken a nice trip.

Is this OP? So it isn’t rational and based on childhood scarcity. You need to take over bill payment. $35k means he’s run the card up to it’s limit because he’s afraid the cash will run out someday.

No our limit is over 100k

[Anonymous]

Pay them off yourself every month. The interest on that much be insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a person who blacks out every time they have to think about numbers and money. They have several other problems including shopping for dopamine hit.
So many suggestions here how to fix it. I'd be worried about them taking out loans or anything involving money .

They pass out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly thing it’s something to do with his upbringing, like some sort of psychological scarcity. His mom told that their lights would be turned off because his father didn’t pay the bill. His dad was wealthy, his current home is $5million. He’s never gotten any kind of help from his parents, he’s even paid every penny of college himself. I have asked him and he says he just likes to see the money in cash. I told him how much interest that cost us and we could have taken a nice trip.

Is this OP? So it isn’t rational and based on childhood scarcity. You need to take over bill payment. $35k means he’s run the card up to it’s limit because he’s afraid the cash will run out someday.

No our limit is over 100k

Is this OP? Please put identify yourself at the beginning of your posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly thing it’s something to do with his upbringing, like some sort of psychological scarcity. His mom told that their lights would be turned off because his father didn’t pay the bill. His dad was wealthy, his current home is $5million. He’s never gotten any kind of help from his parents, he’s even paid every penny of college himself. I have asked him and he says he just likes to see the money in cash. I told him how much interest that cost us and we could have taken a nice trip.

Is this OP? So it isn’t rational and based on childhood scarcity. You need to take over bill payment. $35k means he’s run the card up to it’s limit because he’s afraid the cash will run out someday.

No our limit is over 100k

Is this OP? Please put identify yourself at the beginning of your posts.

*Please put "OP" to identify yourself at the beginning of your posts.

[Anonymous]

OP, you said in your original post that your credit limit is $150k. How many cards are being used?