Teen who is a serious pianist and vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would let the teen decide as long as it was feasible to bring the instrument and they figured out on their own how to work in practice time.

Requiring your teen to practice on vacation would be some pretty seriously deranged behavior.

Teen is saying that they only want to go to places with pianos. Last year we brought an electric piano to the beach but they are saying that is not an option.

Your teen doesn’t always get to decide everything for the family

+1-teens make unreasonable demands sometimes. They don’t get a pass because it’s piano.

Your teen's obsession to play over vacation is a bit worrisome AND his inability to cope with the idea of missing a few days of practice.

Is there adhd? Why so rigid? Is the piano his way of making you proud of him? Placating you? Hence his zeal to practice no matter what?

[Anonymous]

This is so weird. What are they worried is going to happens in a week

[Anonymous]

Where do you vacation at the beach, OP? We once rented a vrbo house in Maine that had a baby grand piano in it (no one in my family
seriously plays!). Also beach towns in CA near auCSB and UCSD could be an option, and they could possibly rent practice space at the college.

In HS, my teen son was rigid about practicing his sport (which requires specific facilities) while we were on vacation; we tried our hest to accommodate but it couldn’t always happen.

[Anonymous]

My high school teenager is a serious pianist (competes regularly) and we usually have intentions of usually getting a piano practice room if vacations are longer than 1 week -- but in our past few vacations, we just skipped. Teenager is great and usually comes back home refreshed and eager to play!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your teen should be able to tell you how they feel about skipping piano practice for a week.

DD is a violinist performance major currently. There was a point during sophomore year in HS where she began traveling with her violin for week long vacations. Before that she would simply take a break from playing while we traveled. However at that point in her playing “career”, she felt her fingers would tighten even for a day or two days of breaks.

Let your teen “guide” this process. If they feel they need to keep up, they will find ways to seek out practice opportunities. One thing I wouldn’t do it to book lodging solely based on the availability of a piano. Most times, the pianos are not properly maintained and tuned. For a serious pianist, the slightest out of tune will bother their ears. The touch of the keys will also differ from piano to piano. Your teen may prefer not to practice on these units and sit out the week. There are ways they can stay engaged through mental practice, sight reading exercises, and focused listening sessions. Your teen will figure out how to fit vacation into their practice schedule.

Teen's solution is not to go on vacation. We would very much like to have teen come on vacation, so looking for other solutions.

In the past we've rented a house at the beach. Last year we brought an electric piano, but teen is now saying that's not enough. So, we're wondering what other people have done.

No normal, Curtis or Julliard-eligible teen is going to behave like this, OP. Does your teen have OCD (read, autism) about practicing, or are you scheduling vacations right before auditions, competitions or recitals? You NEVER want to do the latter. And you might want to assess the former. The family should not be having this problem. We are part of a competitive music studio and none of the teens who have gone on to prestigious conservatories behaved like this, but then their families were also careful about picking vacation dates around their teen's music schedule.

Oh, shut it, wannabe therapist. Your ableism is disgusting.

OP, unless there are concerns beyond what you've presented here, a teen prioritizing an interest over a family vacation sounds really developmentally normal. It may be as much that they don't care about family vacation (like most teens) as it is that they don't want to miss practice. Also, they are at an age when this feels like a huge part of their identity, so they make choices accordingly (and perhaps a bit dramatically).

Also, could it be a legitimate concern? I have a family member who is a professional pianist and there have been very few times when he's traveled for a week without playing. Like I think he missed it to go on safari. He won't visit us for more than 2 nights at a time because there is no suitable practice piano in our area.

IDK what the solution is, but I do think teens can be miserable enough already on family vacation. IDK if you want to force this. Would talking to their piano instructor help? Or could you compromise...they go for 3 or 4 nights and then return early?

[Anonymous]

We take long vacations (3 weeks) and DS is mostly fine with it thus far. He is a serious enough pianist (2-3 hours practice daily). If at all possible, we find practice rooms at university music departments (we are academics and have colleagues all over the world and they are often happy to help schedule something). It is totally understandable because DS gets very itchy at the end of the vacation and gets back with renewed focus. His teacher is not always happy about these long vacations but understands.

[Anonymous]

I am the PP who only lets my kid take his instrument on certain vacations. My kid can be somewhat rigid and I see the instrument-less vacations as good practice for compromising. After all, who is going to want to marry someone who insists on bringing his instrument on all vacations?

[Anonymous]

My DC is younger pianist, but those long vacations (3-4 weeks) that we take to visit family definitely hurt the progress. We haven’t been so lucky with finding places to practice.

[Anonymous]

Mental practice is effective for an advanced pianist. Is this teenager auditioning for Julliard right after the vacation? If so, don’t schedule vacation right before audition…?

[Anonymous]

Schedule around auditions / competitions / recitals. Otherwise electric piano & headphone is a good idea for travel. Families of a serious athlete will schedule around games, actors around shows, and musicians should receive same consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your teen should be able to tell you how they feel about skipping piano practice for a week.

DD is a violinist performance major currently. There was a point during sophomore year in HS where she began traveling with her violin for week long vacations. Before that she would simply take a break from playing while we traveled. However at that point in her playing “career”, she felt her fingers would tighten even for a day or two days of breaks.

Let your teen “guide” this process. If they feel they need to keep up, they will find ways to seek out practice opportunities. One thing I wouldn’t do it to book lodging solely based on the availability of a piano. Most times, the pianos are not properly maintained and tuned. For a serious pianist, the slightest out of tune will bother their ears. The touch of the keys will also differ from piano to piano. Your teen may prefer not to practice on these units and sit out the week. There are ways they can stay engaged through mental practice, sight reading exercises, and focused listening sessions. Your teen will figure out how to fit vacation into their practice schedule.

Teen's solution is not to go on vacation. We would very much like to have teen come on vacation, so looking for other solutions.

In the past we've rented a house at the beach. Last year we brought an electric piano, but teen is now saying that's not enough. So, we're wondering what other people have done.

No normal, Curtis or Julliard-eligible teen is going to behave like this, OP. Does your teen have OCD (read, autism) about practicing, or are you scheduling vacations right before auditions, competitions or recitals? You NEVER want to do the latter. And you might want to assess the former. The family should not be having this problem. We are part of a competitive music studio and none of the teens who have gone on to prestigious conservatories behaved like this, but then their families were also careful about picking vacation dates around their teen's music schedule.

Oh, shut it, wannabe therapist. Your ableism is disgusting.

OP, unless there are concerns beyond what you've presented here, a teen prioritizing an interest over a family vacation sounds really developmentally normal. It may be as much that they don't care about family vacation (like most teens) as it is that they don't want to miss practice. Also, they are at an age when this feels like a huge part of their identity, so they make choices accordingly (and perhaps a bit dramatically).

Also, could it be a legitimate concern? I have a family member who is a professional pianist and there have been very few times when he's traveled for a week without playing. Like I think he missed it to go on safari. He won't visit us for more than 2 nights at a time because there is no suitable practice piano in our area.

IDK what the solution is, but I do think teens can be miserable enough already on family vacation. IDK if you want to force this. Would talking to their piano instructor help? Or could you compromise...they go for 3 or 4 nights and then return early?

PP you replied. I HAVE A TEEN WITH AUTISM AND OCD. Why would you think that I don't know what I'm talking about????

Shame on you. You should apologize. But of course you won't.

[Anonymous]

Op, you don't have to accompany his expectations.

I know a violin player who broke both wrists at the same time. His teacher had him visualize playing until his wrists had healed and had enough strength to play again. He was Julliard bound until life got in the way.

[Anonymous]

Accommodate, not accompany.

[Anonymous]

I have a serious pianist, and when we go on vacation she takes a break, unless the trip is over 2 weeks long. We do try plan our vacations so they don't occur right before a performance, recording, or major competition. Her playing has never suffered from taking a break. Honestly, sometimes when she rests a piece it often comes back sounding better than before after a period of reviving it.

[Anonymous]

My kid was into another EC. We only did vacations around what my kid wanted to do and where.