How to tell someone no when asking to borrow money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this guy licensed and bonded?

+1 file a complaint.

Filing a lawsuit may be in your future.

What is the upside for op? So much aggravation. I would treat with careful, calculated kindness and then be done rather than risk further trouble.

Maintaining civilization requires effort from us all.

At the expense of your personal safety in a situation like this? No. This is a gray area and self-preservation/protecting family really matters more here.

[Anonymous]

I'd insist on completion of the project before discussing any further work. In the future, if someone working for you makes such a request, decide how much the relationship means to you. Are you likely to find another handyman, gardener, house cleaner, babysitter that meets your needs? If the answer is no, give them some money (what amount you are willing to give not necessarily what they have asked for), hand it to them in cash and say this is a ONE TIME GIFT but you cannot do any more. This has worked very well for me with relatives, friends and people doing work for me.

[Anonymous]

Give him a counter offer with a friendly “hey, was trying to figure a way we could help more but had some unexpected health expenses arise. We can offer $xxx for you and then of course will pay the balance on the job once completed and can maybe add another $100 onto that after completion but I don’t have extra available at the moment.”

[Anonymous]

Say you can offer a speedy completion bonus if he gets the work done properly by X date. Then change locks.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes the cheapest way to pay for something is with money; in this case, finishing the job.

Odds are very good this ends in one of two ways, if you continue with him:

1) More is asked for, again, with more delays (what's the incentive to be fast at this point?), with more holding you hostage because of fear of what he might or might not do in retaliation. It would be worth significant money to me not to be in this trap, and I'd rather spend that money with someone where it was straightforward.

2) Somehow you get him to finish without "helping" him more, just for the amounts you already had expected to pay. he's already resentful. How likely is it that he retaliates in this situation, where you "won" against him? High. Again, worth money to me.

I'd end it now. "We aren't going to be able to do any more work in the foreseeable future, and this will have to be finished another time. I'm sorry, we are grieving [or something], and I can't talk about it." Change locks and passcodes, block number. You might make him mad, but if it's too difficult to retaliate effectively, he's grift onto the next person. Then finish the project with someone in a licensed and bonded company a bit later.

You almost always end up paying. Make the pay to someone who is accountable and professional, not in increasingly uncomfortable installments to someone who offered to do it cheaper.

[Anonymous]

He has a drug problem.

[Anonymous]

OP—what did you decide to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would legit also change your security codes and install cameras. It is really bizarre and boundary crossing to ask a client for money and the aggressive follow up text makes me think he'd be willing to steal from you.

That's the vibe I get too.

[Anonymous]

The work force in America is so awful now. Everyone feels entitled to what they want without working for it. This guy's aggressive follow up is frightening. How much do you still owe him? If he were to finish the project that is? I think I might just tell him let's part ways at this point and you hire somebody else to do this punchlist.

[Anonymous]

OP I hope this resolves safely for you. It's a useful thread for me. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I would probably pay him a “completion bonus” or some such if it’s a similarly small amount like $500, and not ask him to do more work.

He’s been working for you for 9 months and might not have another steady project lined up. Yes that’s his problem but he’s a human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say you can offer a speedy completion bonus if he gets the work done properly by X date. Then change locks.

This isn't the worst idea if you feel you must give him money to get him out. But it's so super creepy and inappropriate that he asked in the first place, asked a second time, and got pissed when you didn't respond on a holiday no less,

[Anonymous]

Just say no. Why is this so hard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gotta say. This would make me uneasy to have him in my home after declining to give him money. Keep a close eye on him.

Me too. The person above who thinks OP shouldn't live in fear or whatever.... I think they are ignoring that this person has already demonstrated they are a bit unhinged and OP is correct to navigate this carefully. Also, it's no joke to find a contractor to finish the job. OP says there is only a week left of work, so may $1000 job. If they had to find a random stranger to finish, i bet that becomes $2500.

And he knows this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this were me, and there was so little work left, I’d say “so and so, we’ve been happy with your work and since you’re almost done, we would like to know that we plan to tip you when you’re done as a gesture of appreciation. That’s the best we can do right now and we hope it helps.”

If someone has the key to my house, I feel compromised and don’t want to say no. Security reasons. But I’d want to know it’s the last time, and by incentivizing the work completion this way, hopefully he will push to get done quickly as well.

If you don't want to give him the money (how much is it?) this is the best advice. I guarantee you that any kind of lying about "unexpected expenses" will not be believed because he's been in your house every day and knows what you can afford. The truth is you hired him because he was cheaper, so now you are getting what you paid for.

And, yes, it is unprofessional for him to ask, but you didn't hire a professional. You hired a handyman who lives job to job, paycheck to paycheck and is now struggling. The truth is you've already gotten underpriced labor from him (including a "custom pantry" he built for $500!!!!) so I would factor that into my decision, plus what it would cost to have someone else finish it. Personally, I would probably offer to give him the money at the end as a "tip" when the job is completely finished. Then I would not work with him again.