Girlfriend Being Needy

[Anonymous]

Why can’t you text “honey
I’m tired today and am just going to bed. Good night and I’ll talk to you tomorrow”. That would be a way to have your boundaries and…. COMMUNICATE them.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe there are people on this board who think two texts a day = being needy! That is so basic and simple, I am concerned how they communicate in every day life with others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe there are people on this board who think two texts a day = being needy! That is so basic and simple, I am concerned how they communicate in every day life with others.

I don't think anyone thinks the two texts a day are being needy. I think it's the throwing a fit over it is what people are reacting to. When DH and I were dating we talked and texted a ton. If he didn't text back one day and the next morning said "sorry I was exhausted and just relaxed and went to bed early" I would have said "oh ok. Bad day at work?".

They both were wrong here. He should have communicated that he was tired or busy and wasn't around to talk. And she shouldn't flip out about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is being held to ad hoc "routines" she wants. Call a few times at 4 pm, say? Then YOU MISSED OUR 4 PM CALL drama would ensue,
She is still too traumatized to be in a relationship where she is considerate and a partner, not a needy one.

A second text per day is really not that dramatic or needy. It's quite sad that you think that way, do you not contact your partner ever? Or maybe you don't have one?

Yeah, but the girlfriend getting worked up about it when he misses one? That is needy. DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe there are people on this board who think two texts a day = being needy! That is so basic and simple, I am concerned how they communicate in every day life with others.

I don't think anyone thinks the two texts a day are being needy. I think it's the throwing a fit over it is what people are reacting to. When DH and I were dating we talked and texted a ton. If he didn't text back one day and the next morning said "sorry I was exhausted and just relaxed and went to bed early" I would have said "oh ok. Bad day at work?".

They both were wrong here. He should have communicated that he was tired or busy and wasn't around to talk. And she shouldn't flip out about it.

We don't know if she was "throwing a fit" or "flip out" - even OPs words were vague "bent out of shape". That could be as little as a terse greeting when he texted this AM. OPs language suggests he is on the dramatic side, but he may also find her needy in other situations. Because there is no way that her reacting to a bf texting her once a day and checking that box is in any way needy on it's own. He's putting in less than the bare minimum for any partner (at least any person that I know IRL), so he's probably just not that interested in pursuing this relationship further.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like some feedback on a problem I’m having with my girlfriend of 9 months. In general she’s great, but I find her a little needy.

We see each other every weekend. And usually 1-2 week nights. We text good morning and FaceTime before bed. All of this makes her happy. Sometimes I might miss a before bed call or not text good morning.

Yesterday I texted her good morning but then did reach out the rest of the day. This morning she’s all bent out of shape. Is she being needy? Or am I being a crap boyfriend?

"Girlfriend being needy" is the most redundant phrase in the English language. They're ALL needy.

Time for you to put on your big boy pants and put your foot down. So what, you missed a "good night" text? Whooptie damn doo. And stop the FaceTiming before bed. You are not a child. You are a man. This is turf-guarding nonsense.

Stand up for yourself already and stop being a pushover.

You really enjoy being single, don't you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe there are people on this board who think two texts a day = being needy! That is so basic and simple, I am concerned how they communicate in every day life with others.

I don't think anyone thinks the two texts a day are being needy. I think it's the throwing a fit over it is what people are reacting to. When DH and I were dating we talked and texted a ton. If he didn't text back one day and the next morning said "sorry I was exhausted and just relaxed and went to bed early" I would have said "oh ok. Bad day at work?".

They both were wrong here. He should have communicated that he was tired or busy and wasn't around to talk. And she shouldn't flip out about it.

Consider that the description of the gf's allege response (which wasn't actually quoted/provided) is coming from the same person who is asking if more than 1 text a day = neediness.

[Anonymous]

Your girlfriend is right. Relationships come with responsibilities. It’s fine if you want to take a day off but you need to be considerate and communicate that. Having a goodnight call is no big deal. What do you think happens when you get married…….surprise you ask each other about your day and say goodnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe there are people on this board who think two texts a day = being needy! That is so basic and simple, I am concerned how they communicate in every day life with others.

I don't think anyone thinks the two texts a day are being needy. I think it's the throwing a fit over it is what people are reacting to. When DH and I were dating we talked and texted a ton. If he didn't text back one day and the next morning said "sorry I was exhausted and just relaxed and went to bed early" I would have said "oh ok. Bad day at work?".

They both were wrong here. He should have communicated that he was tired or busy and wasn't around to talk. And she shouldn't flip out about it.

Consider that the description of the gf's allege response (which wasn't actually quoted/provided) is coming from the same person who is asking if more than 1 text a day = neediness.

Yup, unreliable narrator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d like some feedback on a problem I’m having with my girlfriend of 9 months. In general she’s great, but I find her a little needy.

We see each other every weekend. And usually 1-2 week nights. We text good morning and FaceTime before bed. All of this makes her happy. Sometimes I might miss a before bed call or not text good morning.

Yesterday I texted her good morning but then did reach out the rest of the day. This morning she’s all bent out of shape. Is she being needy? Or am I being a crap boyfriend?

You guys need to talk TO EACH OTHER about what you want/need. And what each of you are comfortable providing.

And if she isn't happy with a simple good morning -- then she needs to reach out to you.

I can't tell ... are you a crap boyfriend? Has she TOLD you that she wants more attention/texting? Has she asked you for additional support? Are you supposed to know without being told that she likes extra texts on Thursdays because she has a staff meeting that always goes haywire?

I feel like a lot of this is about communication, and your communication pathways might be blocked or faulty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d like some feedback on a problem I’m having with my girlfriend of 9 months. In general she’s great, but I find her a little needy.

We see each other every weekend. And usually 1-2 week nights. We text good morning and FaceTime before bed. All of this makes her happy. Sometimes I might miss a before bed call or not text good morning.

Yesterday I texted her good morning but then did reach out the rest of the day. This morning she’s all bent out of shape. Is she being needy? Or am I being a crap boyfriend?

This is immature behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like some feedback on a problem I’m having with my girlfriend of 9 months. In general she’s great, but I find her a little needy.

We see each other every weekend. And usually 1-2 week nights. We text good morning and FaceTime before bed. All of this makes her happy. Sometimes I might miss a before bed call or not text good morning.

Yesterday I texted her good morning but then did reach out the rest of the day. This morning she’s all bent out of shape. Is she being needy? Or am I being a crap boyfriend?

She's being needy. And that neediness is unlikely to change; you need to figure out if you want to put up with it.

This^.

[Anonymous]

How old are you two?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d like some feedback on a problem I’m having with my girlfriend of 9 months. In general she’s great, but I find her a little needy.

We see each other every weekend. And usually 1-2 week nights. We text good morning and FaceTime before bed. All of this makes her happy. Sometimes I might miss a before bed call or not text good morning.

Yesterday I texted her good morning but then did reach out the rest of the day. This morning she’s all bent out of shape. Is she being needy? Or am I being a crap boyfriend?

Without reading the rest of the thread, was there a reason you dint reach out the rest of the day, if you normally do? Did you communicate that? “Hey hon, it’s month end and I’m super busy, I’ll check in after work”

She’s allowed to have needs without being called needy, especially if your relationship standard is that yiu check in mid day.

Start as you plan to continue.

[Anonymous]

I'm a woman and hate when someone expects me to text/calls twice a day and if I don't -- we're adults and have things going on -- it's the end of the world. Yes, she's needy and yes, she's using you to pacify her anxiety. The thing is that anxiety never stops with these people. First it's a call/text twice a day, next it's something else, like make me breakfast. If you don't, then you don't "care". Not all women are needy. The ones who are insecure and immature are. Soon every other text/call will be about how you didn't text/call when "required". It's a manipulation game.