Sophomore failing tests - how to handle

[Anonymous]

I had a son like this. Also in private school, which I think matters to your situation. He was smart and barely tried in middle school but got all As. He never learned study techniques. A competitive private high school is so much different. It took him awhile to realize that what worked in middle school (review the night before, memorize the study guide) is not enough at his high school.
I’d use a resource at your school. There’s definitely an academic counselor or someone on staff equipped to help. And coming from them is better than anything you could suggest.
Do it now, because junior year is a whole step harder and he needs to learn how to study.

[Anonymous]

Don’t cut out the sports, cut out the screens!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t cut out the sports, cut out the screens!!

Agree. I would not cut my sons sports. Those are extremely important to his mental health. But the screen's and breaks need to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PP with the kid with text anxiety...how did you handle that? Is there is an underlying issue with my son this is what I suspect. It is then compounded by lack of preparation. He is very resistant to talking with someone...I have already suggested that.

Oh and grades are still OK bc most tests are C's (but these were tests he SHOULD have had A's on. Not hard and not a lot to study) which brings A's down and the last test was a pretty low F. But he had a 98 in that class prior so there was some wiggle room.

It's interesting, public schools have moved to the tests being most of the grade and As on homework not being able to save grades. Who knew private schools were this cushy. Your kid should not be able to get As and Bs in class if getting Cs to Fs on tests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To get As on the homework and then literally fail the test is odd. Is he cheating on the homework? Or does he have crippling test anxiety that he is hiding from you?

Lots of what you say sounds like inattentive ADHD so I’m not sure why you would not investigate that.

Agree. My first thought was does he cheat on HW? But also sounds like ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The PP with the kid with text anxiety...how did you handle that? Is there is an underlying issue with my son this is what I suspect. It is then compounded by lack of preparation. He is very resistant to talking with someone...I have already suggested that.

Oh and grades are still OK bc most tests are C's (but these were tests he SHOULD have had A's on. Not hard and not a lot to study) which brings A's down and the last test was a pretty low F. But he had a 98 in that class prior so there was some wiggle room.

It's interesting, public schools have moved to the tests being most of the grade and As on homework not being able to save grades. Who knew private schools were this cushy. Your kid should not be able to get As and Bs in class if getting Cs to Fs on tests.

Yes I’m curious what school this is. I don’t understand how a kid could have been skating by for this long.

[Anonymous]

If you can’t get straight a’s in school then we cut back on everything else until straight a’s achieved- social life, phone access, athletics, whatever. School is number one.

[Anonymous]

This is OP, we came from public. Trust me, in our case at least, it was much easier in public. Low scores had a grade cap and tests could be retaken for at least some additional credit. When 1 test counts for 30-60% of your grade it is not soft. In the class with the F he had a high A quiz score to balance out the test and his grade dropped by 13 points which is significant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, we came from public. Trust me, in our case at least, it was much easier in public. Low scores had a grade cap and tests could be retaken for at least some additional credit. When 1 test counts for 30-60% of your grade it is not soft. In the class with the F he had a high A quiz score to balance out the test and his grade dropped by 13 points which is significant.

Ok, this helps paint a better picture. It's not test anxiety if he gets a high A on a quiz. He's not preparing for some test appropriately. I would approach very unemotionally and calmly at a time when he is calm. Why do you think this is happening? What is your plan to fix it? How can we support and what do you need from us? Sounds great. If you get another F, here are the things that will happen on our end. I would start with limiting screens heavily, next limit social stuff, and last pull the sport. Say what you will do and mean it and do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, we came from public. Trust me, in our case at least, it was much easier in public. Low scores had a grade cap and tests could be retaken for at least some additional credit. When 1 test counts for 30-60% of your grade it is not soft. In the class with the F he had a high A quiz score to balance out the test and his grade dropped by 13 points which is significant.

Ok, this helps paint a better picture. It's not test anxiety if he gets a high A on a quiz. He's not preparing for some test appropriately. I would approach very unemotionally and calmly at a time when he is calm. Why do you think this is happening? What is your plan to fix it? How can we support and what do you need from us? Sounds great. If you get another F, here are the things that will happen on our end. I would start with limiting screens heavily, next limit social stuff, and last pull the sport. Say what you will do and mean it and do it.

Thanks, so you think if there was actual test anxiety that even a well prepared for test/quiz would go badly? The one with the A was all math and the F was mostly recall. (science class) Not sure is there if that matters.

[Anonymous]

*Not sure if that matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t cut out the sports, cut out the screens!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Exactly! Take the screens! I guarantee you that you can save money and angst on tutors, coaches etc...institute a two hour no screens rule at your house during the week. Uninterrupted time where homework is done. When they say they don't have any go rest or lay....a break from the screens will solve it all!!!! Stop being scared to parent! Take the phone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t cut out the sports, cut out the screens!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Exactly! Take the screens! I guarantee you that you can save money and angst on tutors, coaches etc...institute a two hour no screens rule at your house during the week. Uninterrupted time where homework is done. When they say they don't have any go rest or lay....a break from the screens will solve it all!!!! Stop being scared to parent! Take the phone!

Where did OP say he was distracted by his phone? Did I miss a post?

[Anonymous]

Read That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week, and follow the author's advice-- most importantly for your kid to understand he will actually have MORE free time if he's on a solid study routine.

[Anonymous]

Let him do the sports, don't be destructive. It's a good thing, you don't want him reaching for drugs or who knows what. Don't mess with that.