Marriage as social mobility for women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We tend to think that women using marriage for social mobility is an archaic trope reserved for Jane Austen novels but a quick observation of the social landscape today would prove advantageous marriages are still the norm.

Every single woman I know married “ up.” I don’t think it’s a coincidence.

I’m curious how likely it is for most women to move up socially through education and career alone.

Do you have any hobbies other than posting misogynistic trash on DCUM?

We see you

[Anonymous]

Well my DD was raised UMC by most DCUM standards, HHI top 3 to 5 percent. She went to private high school and now college with some students who are the top 1 percent. So for her to marry up, she would need to marry someone outright Rich. I have no opinion on the money matter bc i know she will be fine anyway that her life unfolds, but you’re posting on DCUM OP and for many on this board, marrying up wouldn’t be marrying into a family or to a partner with HHI north of 1M+.

[Anonymous]

Most younger affair partners of wealthy men are attempting to marry for social mobility/financial security- with varying results as the men are already married.

[Anonymous]

I actually can’t think of any friends who married “up” in a dramatic way. I do have friends who make less than husbands due to field of work/hob titles etc. I wouldn’t, though, describe my doctor friend as having “married up” because she is married to a surgeon who makes more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird. Every single woman I know married an equal, give or take.

Years later, some of the guys’ careers skyrocketed while their wives stuck to family-friendly work arrangements, but they started out on the same footing.

+1.

Also, did Austen’s heroines marry up for *social* reasons? I’m pretty sure it was out of economic necessity, but also love too sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird. Every single woman I know married an equal, give or take.

Years later, some of the guys’ careers skyrocketed while their wives stuck to family-friendly work arrangements, but they started out on the same footing.

This. I only know one couple and it was actually the man who “married well” by marrying an unattractive woman with rich parents. All the parents were college graduates as well as the couple. They both went on to get graduate degrees and make their own wealth but her parents paid for her education, lavish wedding and honeymoon, got him a billionaire client, covered house downpayments and furniture, and showered their household with generous gifts throughout their marriage.

Did he love her or see her as a cash cow?

Has he been faithful, as far as you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How weird. Most women I know married down or are single. Most women I know are bright well-educated women with good careers and good income. They end up with guys who aren't hard workers or expect them to take on the nearly full load of parenting.

I don't know any women who looks at marrying as a form of social climbing - men are unreliable: as much as his social status/income can help a women rise, when the man divorces or behaves badly the woman is stuck in a very bad position. Bo one wants to rely on a man. Better to rely on oneself.

That’s you and your friends. This is not the reality around the country. Most women have lower paying jobs. Most women marry up.
90% of fortune 500 CEOs are men. Their wives have married up. You can keep going down the ladder and the story will be the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How weird. Most women I know married down or are single. Most women I know are bright well-educated women with good careers and good income. They end up with guys who aren't hard workers or expect them to take on the nearly full load of parenting.

I don't know any women who looks at marrying as a form of social climbing - men are unreliable: as much as his social status/income can help a women rise, when the man divorces or behaves badly the woman is stuck in a very bad position. Bo one wants to rely on a man. Better to rely on oneself.

That’s you and your friends. This is not the reality around the country. Most women have lower paying jobs. Most women marry up.
90% of fortune 500 CEOs are men. Their wives have married up. You can keep going down the ladder and the story will be the same.

Tell me you don’t actually know any female C suite, VPs, without telling me.

[Anonymous]

Statistically, this isn't common anymore.

https://ifstudies.org/blog/a-record-share-of-men-are-marrying-up-educationally

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How weird. Most women I know married down or are single. Most women I know are bright well-educated women with good careers and good income. They end up with guys who aren't hard workers or expect them to take on the nearly full load of parenting.

I don't know any women who looks at marrying as a form of social climbing - men are unreliable: as much as his social status/income can help a women rise, when the man divorces or behaves badly the woman is stuck in a very bad position. Bo one wants to rely on a man. Better to rely on oneself.

That’s you and your friends. This is not the reality around the country. Most women have lower paying jobs. Most women marry up.
90% of fortune 500 CEOs are men. Their wives have married up. You can keep going down the ladder and the story will be the same.

This is being researched. I believe what is happening in the US is assortative mating (like marries like).

As women become more financially successful, men often can't keep up unless their wives can help. Educated men and women are more frequently marrying their equals now. It's less cool to marry down.

https://www.nber.org/digest/may14/assortative-mating-and-income-inequality

What does seem to be happening when one partner has an extreme job is that the other partner steps back. This happens for executive women just like it does for men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How weird. Most women I know married down or are single. Most women I know are bright well-educated women with good careers and good income. They end up with guys who aren't hard workers or expect them to take on the nearly full load of parenting.

I don't know any women who looks at marrying as a form of social climbing - men are unreliable: as much as his social status/income can help a women rise, when the man divorces or behaves badly the woman is stuck in a very bad position. Bo one wants to rely on a man. Better to rely on oneself.

That’s you and your friends. This is not the reality around the country. Most women have lower paying jobs. Most women marry up.
90% of fortune 500 CEOs are men. Their wives have married up. You can keep going down the ladder and the story will be the same.

This is being researched. I believe what is happening in the US is assortative mating (like marries like).

As women become more financially successful, men often can't keep up unless their wives can help. Educated men and women are more frequently marrying their equals now. It's less cool to marry down.

https://www.nber.org/digest/may14/assortative-mating-and-income-inequality

What does seem to be happening when one partner has an extreme job is that the other partner steps back. This happens for executive women just like it does for men.

I think it depends on background. If the richer partner is from a blue collar background, it's not bad to marry a partner from that. Ie, a business woman with a firefighter.

If you have a businesswoman from a white collar background, she would only marry a poor man if he were an artist, musician, teacher or maybe a male. Not a blue collar plumber or construction worker type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird. Every single woman I know married an equal, give or take.

Years later, some of the guys’ careers skyrocketed while their wives stuck to family-friendly work arrangements, but they started out on the same footing.

This. I only know one couple and it was actually the man who “married well” by marrying an unattractive woman with rich parents. All the parents were college graduates as well as the couple. They both went on to get graduate degrees and make their own wealth but her parents paid for her education, lavish wedding and honeymoon, got him a billionaire client, covered house downpayments and furniture, and showered their household with generous gifts throughout their marriage.

Did he love her or see her as a cash cow?

Has he been faithful, as far as you know?

As far as I know, he loves her and has been faithful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We tend to think that women using marriage for social mobility is an archaic trope reserved for Jane Austen novels but a quick observation of the social landscape today would prove advantageous marriages are still the norm.

Every single woman I know married “ up.” I don’t think it’s a coincidence.

I’m curious how likely it is for most women to move up socially through education and career alone.

Hogwash. In the tech companies I worked for it was mostly equal marrying equal. We all similar degrees and went to similar schools and came from similar backgrounds.

You sound like my inlaws. I come from a family where everyone went to a prestigious university and received advanced degrees and everyone has very good jobs that pay very well. My inlaws, who eventually got useless degrees as adults from a community college and most of their children attended the community college and do not have good jobs, like to pretend I am the low class scullery maid their son rescued from a life of starvation and poverty.

Op your hypothesis is pure fantasy.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if it’s so much women marrying “up” or that they typically don’t marry “down “ and men are ok with marrying “down “ as they don’t care about wife’s profession as often they aren’t looking for a provider for kids/family. They do care about attractiveness more where as women look for money/power more in a mate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We tend to think that women using marriage for social mobility is an archaic trope reserved for Jane Austen novels but a quick observation of the social landscape today would prove advantageous marriages are still the norm.

Every single woman I know married “ up.” I don’t think it’s a coincidence.

I’m curious how likely it is for most women to move up socially through education and career alone.

Men have been doing that too for years. Look to Alexander Hamilton and Tobey Maquire ( spiderman)