Parent staying versus drop off play date

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use your words OP. “Can Larlo come over after school next Friday. You can pick him up from our house around 6”

No. we don't do drop offs

NP: and this genuinely would be totally fine with me. I’d rather not do a playdate in that case (if I have to entertain the parent too). This is assuming I have met the parent on several occasions, which was always the case. Generally only asked kids of families we know for playdates at that age. If a new friend, I’d make time for a park meetup or similar the first time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not drop off my K child unless I knew the parents very well. FWIW I have three kids and I have never done this. If someone said drop off only I would politely decline and question their motives.

At kindergarten age, we never dropped off our kids ( they were too young for that). Even at 1st grade, my daughter went to birthday and my spouse had to stay with her the entire time during birthday party because she is shy and was intimidated by so many other girls. The host mom was totally Ok with my spouse staying even though it was a drop off. I felt bad for host mom, but I know my child that she is hard to warm up.

[Anonymous]

I had a Mother say, "you're welcome to stay." She brought me a cup of tea. I sat down on the couch. Then she walked out of the room and never came back.

She meant I could stay but she wasn't going to stay. The Nanny watched the children. I thought she was inviting ME to stay for conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a Mother say, "you're welcome to stay." She brought me a cup of tea. I sat down on the couch. Then she walked out of the room and never came back.

She meant I could stay but she wasn't going to stay. The Nanny watched the children. I thought she was inviting ME to stay for conversation.

She's just placating the "I'd never drop off at a stranger's house." Fine, you can stay, but nobody wants to entertain you.

[Anonymous]

I didn't need her to entertain me. And I was fine with dropping off. She just lacked some very basic communication skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a Mother say, "you're welcome to stay." She brought me a cup of tea. I sat down on the couch. Then she walked out of the room and never came back.

She meant I could stay but she wasn't going to stay. The Nanny watched the children. I thought she was inviting ME to stay for conversation.

She's just placating the "I'd never drop off at a stranger's house." Fine, you can stay, but nobody wants to entertain you.

DP. Fine by me. I don't know who random nanny lady is. Oh, and is that her husband the gardener?

[Anonymous]

At that age, my daughter did not want me to leave, so I would always ask the parent if I could stay. Perhaps you could say "would Emma be comfortable with a drop off playdate?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a Mother say, "you're welcome to stay." She brought me a cup of tea. I sat down on the couch. Then she walked out of the room and never came back.

She meant I could stay but she wasn't going to stay. The Nanny watched the children. I thought she was inviting ME to stay for conversation.

Mother and nanny don’t need to be capitalized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child has had a few play dates with a classmate (kindergarten). We always drop off, and the two times the friend came over, one parent stayed.

I think I am at the point of no more playdates with this friend because I really don’t like hosting the other parent. Is this rude? Or how do I suggest a drop off play date when at our house?

Accept their invitation but don’t invite them to your house. Sometimes these things are one sided for many reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a Mother say, "you're welcome to stay." She brought me a cup of tea. I sat down on the couch. Then she walked out of the room and never came back.

She meant I could stay but she wasn't going to stay. The Nanny watched the children. I thought she was inviting ME to stay for conversation.

Mother and nanny don’t need to be capitalized.

English might be her second language. Germans capitalize all nouns not just proper nouns. Other languages have different rules with regard to capitalization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kindergartener will not let me drop him off. I would love to. I do tell people this when he's invited though. I usually decline saying he is working up to drop offs and they usually understand.

+ 1. First grader will only do drop off with friends she knows really well. My older kid never had this issue, but he is not shy and she is. She’s working on it. I would be thrilled to drop her off!

I still feel guilt when I think how many times I had my kindergartener go to play dates with classmates she wasn’t friends with. She didn’t always want to go but I said let’s not make him feel bad. But it was the mothers arranging these so I needed more courage to say no, we can’t. I never asked her what they did especially if she was at a boys house.

Our school allowed kids to take another bus so she would take a bus with the other child and I would pick her up.

There’s nothing wrong with her wanting to go alone only with close friends. She can do more when she gets older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't need her to entertain me. And I was fine with dropping off. She just lacked some very basic communication skills.

If I was fine with dropping off I never would have accepted the invite to stay. It's expecting a lot of people to set aside two hours to chit chat with you when the point of the play date is for kids to play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a Mother say, "you're welcome to stay." She brought me a cup of tea. I sat down on the couch. Then she walked out of the room and never came back.

She meant I could stay but she wasn't going to stay. The Nanny watched the children. I thought she was inviting ME to stay for conversation.

Mother and nanny don’t need to be capitalized.

English might be her second language. Germans capitalize all nouns not just proper nouns. Other languages have different rules with regard to capitalization.

But she’s writing in English. And Germans probably know English grammar rules better than most Americans. So no, I don’t believe she’s German. Much more likely semi-literate American.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kindergartener will not let me drop him off. I would love to. I do tell people this when he's invited though. I usually decline saying he is working up to drop offs and they usually understand.

+ 1. First grader will only do drop off with friends she knows really well. My older kid never had this issue, but he is not shy and she is. She’s working on it. I would be thrilled to drop her off!

I still feel guilt when I think how many times I had my kindergartener go to play dates with classmates she wasn’t friends with. She didn’t always want to go but I said let’s not make him feel bad. But it was the mothers arranging these so I needed more courage to say no, we can’t. I never asked her what they did especially if she was at a boys house.

Our school allowed kids to take another bus so she would take a bus with the other child and I would pick her up.

There’s nothing wrong with her wanting to go alone only with close friends. She can do more when she gets older.

First grader PP - there is nothing wrong with it per se, but it is more limiting. Some parents don't want a playdate where the parent stays. Plus, if I have to stay, that is something i am not doing (running older kid somewhere, errands, etc). But even at this age it is still a mix of drop off and staying, and I don't think we've had any play dates at our house where the parent has not stayed the first time, as a "get to you know you and make sure you are normal" precaution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a Mother say, "you're welcome to stay." She brought me a cup of tea. I sat down on the couch. Then she walked out of the room and never came back.

She meant I could stay but she wasn't going to stay. The Nanny watched the children. I thought she was inviting ME to stay for conversation.

Lol how weird of her! Did you sit there the whole time?