When will my kid stop destroying everything

[Anonymous]

Hi OP! Fellow mom of a bill in a China shop. It honestly gets better right at 4yo, with steep improvement from there. Hang in, I remember that phase.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes it feels like it gets worse. At two my kid sometimes ripped pages out of books or scribbled on things I wish she wouldn't. She doesn't do that stuff now, at 6, but she's bigger and way more active and she randomly breaks things by knocking them off tables. She spills constantly. She's an incredibly messy eater and it seem to get worse, not better, as she ages, despite much effort on our part to teach and model a tidier approach.

She's just kind of all over the place, easily distracted, clumsy at times with her body growing so fast, but stronger and faster and bigger than she used to be. A 2 year old can be destructive but also tends to be somewhat contained. A 6 year old (or 10 year old, or 16 year old) has a much wider range but is also still learning and things get broken and ruined in that learning process.

We are planning to buy a new couch and new rugs once she outgrows it. That might be in a couple years, or it could be when she moves out of the house. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

My little brother took everything apart, from the time he could grasp things to even when he got older, to see how it worked. He is now a very successful engineer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah why do people respond to a thread like this to report their child doesn’t do this? Not helpful to OP, and by the way, if your child doesn’t do this, it has nothing to do with your superior parenting or supervision. For us, it was definitely better by K. I really needed to watch them completely through all of preschool. It’ll happen gradually.

Actually it has a lot to do with parenting and supervision. Mine tried to test limits and we put a stop to it each and every time and they knew better. Sure they wanted to jump on the couch, but we pulled them off each time. We didn't keep anything fragile out and anything that could be used as a weapon of destruction, we kept away supervised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah why do people respond to a thread like this to report their child doesn’t do this? Not helpful to OP, and by the way, if your child doesn’t do this, it has nothing to do with your superior parenting or supervision. For us, it was definitely better by K. I really needed to watch them completely through all of preschool. It’ll happen gradually.

Actually it has a lot to do with parenting and supervision. Mine tried to test limits and we put a stop to it each and every time and they knew better. Sure they wanted to jump on the couch, but we pulled them off each time. We didn't keep anything fragile out and anything that could be used as a weapon of destruction, we kept away supervised.

You’re just proving that you don’t have one of these innately destructive children, because if you did you know there’s no keeping away “anything that can be used as a weapon of destruction” because ANYTHING can be used as a weapon of destruction.

[Anonymous]

I have to be in the same room as mine at all times (4 and 2) but they do not destroy anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids are so much worse at this than other. I have 3 and 2 largely did the right thing. But then that other one was the one that scribbled on the walls, threw things at the doors leaving marks, spilled drinks staining rugs, sneaked food out of the kitchen and got it on furniture, put hard to peel off stickers on furniture, flushed objects down the toilet, put pencils down the shower drain, and on and on. It's got better around 5-6.

Did you supervise that one as that's absurd they are behaving that way.

Well, this one has ADHD. Her mind works very differently. But I guess that's absurd to you.

NP here. I also have 3 kids and my ADHD/ASD kid was so much more destructive than the other 2. A lot of the same stuff you mentioned like flushing things down the toilet and drawing on the walls. This was during COVID childcare shutdowns in particular when we really couldn’t supervise 24/7. Some kids really are tougher this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah why do people respond to a thread like this to report their child doesn’t do this? Not helpful to OP, and by the way, if your child doesn’t do this, it has nothing to do with your superior parenting or supervision. For us, it was definitely better by K. I really needed to watch them completely through all of preschool. It’ll happen gradually.

Actually it has a lot to do with parenting and supervision. Mine tried to test limits and we put a stop to it each and every time and they knew better. Sure they wanted to jump on the couch, but we pulled them off each time. We didn't keep anything fragile out and anything that could be used as a weapon of destruction, we kept away supervised.

You’re just proving that you don’t have one of these innately destructive children, because if you did you know there’s no keeping away “anything that can be used as a weapon of destruction” because ANYTHING can be used as a weapon of destruction.

And the fact that jumping off the couch is used as an example...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah why do people respond to a thread like this to report their child doesn’t do this? Not helpful to OP, and by the way, if your child doesn’t do this, it has nothing to do with your superior parenting or supervision. For us, it was definitely better by K. I really needed to watch them completely through all of preschool. It’ll happen gradually.

Actually it has a lot to do with parenting and supervision. Mine tried to test limits and we put a stop to it each and every time and they knew better. Sure they wanted to jump on the couch, but we pulled them off each time. We didn't keep anything fragile out and anything that could be used as a weapon of destruction, we kept away supervised.

No. You're not that special of a parent. You just never faced a challenging kid who really pushes the envelope.

[Anonymous]

Solidarity! I have 2 boys, one was always very easy to redirect as a toddler and never thought to try most of the inane and destructive things his sibling does. The destructive kiddo - he's broken so many things, often by trying to stick things into them, brute force taking them apart/ripping/biting them, putting water on them, or repeated opening and closing. He also has the cutest little laugh and loves talking to his family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah why do people respond to a thread like this to report their child doesn’t do this? Not helpful to OP, and by the way, if your child doesn’t do this, it has nothing to do with your superior parenting or supervision. For us, it was definitely better by K. I really needed to watch them completely through all of preschool. It’ll happen gradually.

Actually it has a lot to do with parenting and supervision. Mine tried to test limits and we put a stop to it each and every time and they knew better. Sure they wanted to jump on the couch, but we pulled them off each time. We didn't keep anything fragile out and anything that could be used as a weapon of destruction, we kept away supervised.

No. You're not that special of a parent. You just never faced a challenging kid who really pushes the envelope.

Yes, I very much did but I put a stop to it and supervised carefully. Its easy to say it cannot be done when you aren't willing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids are so much worse at this than other. I have 3 and 2 largely did the right thing. But then that other one was the one that scribbled on the walls, threw things at the doors leaving marks, spilled drinks staining rugs, sneaked food out of the kitchen and got it on furniture, put hard to peel off stickers on furniture, flushed objects down the toilet, put pencils down the shower drain, and on and on. It's got better around 5-6.

Did you supervise that one as that's absurd they are behaving that way.

Well, this one has ADHD. Her mind works very differently. But I guess that's absurd to you.

NP here. I also have 3 kids and my ADHD/ASD kid was so much more destructive than the other 2. A lot of the same stuff you mentioned like flushing things down the toilet and drawing on the walls. This was during COVID childcare shutdowns in particular when we really couldn’t supervise 24/7. Some kids really are tougher this way.

The issue is not supervising and not kid proofing your house. They should not have access to anything that they can use to write on the walls and locks on the toilet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah why do people respond to a thread like this to report their child doesn’t do this? Not helpful to OP, and by the way, if your child doesn’t do this, it has nothing to do with your superior parenting or supervision. For us, it was definitely better by K. I really needed to watch them completely through all of preschool. It’ll happen gradually.

Actually it has a lot to do with parenting and supervision. Mine tried to test limits and we put a stop to it each and every time and they knew better. Sure they wanted to jump on the couch, but we pulled them off each time. We didn't keep anything fragile out and anything that could be used as a weapon of destruction, we kept away supervised.

No. You're not that special of a parent. You just never faced a challenging kid who really pushes the envelope.

Yes, I very much did but I put a stop to it and supervised carefully. Its easy to say it cannot be done when you aren't willing.

Oh STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids are so much worse at this than other. I have 3 and 2 largely did the right thing. But then that other one was the one that scribbled on the walls, threw things at the doors leaving marks, spilled drinks staining rugs, sneaked food out of the kitchen and got it on furniture, put hard to peel off stickers on furniture, flushed objects down the toilet, put pencils down the shower drain, and on and on. It's got better around 5-6.

Did you supervise that one as that's absurd they are behaving that way.

Well, this one has ADHD. Her mind works very differently. But I guess that's absurd to you.

NP here. I also have 3 kids and my ADHD/ASD kid was so much more destructive than the other 2. A lot of the same stuff you mentioned like flushing things down the toilet and drawing on the walls. This was during COVID childcare shutdowns in particular when we really couldn’t supervise 24/7. Some kids really are tougher this way.

The issue is not supervising and not kid proofing your house. They should not have access to anything that they can use to write on the walls and locks on the toilet.

You really don't get it. These kids can get into anything. Absolutely anything can be interesting or used in a way you never thought possible by these highly creative, curious, unstoppable kids. While they can be frustrating they are also very delightful too. It's not necessary to live in a barren prison because the walls might get marked up by shoes, fingernails, toys, food, or anything else you think you can absolutely control. Because you can't. You clean the mess up as you go and look forward to calmer days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids are so much worse at this than other. I have 3 and 2 largely did the right thing. But then that other one was the one that scribbled on the walls, threw things at the doors leaving marks, spilled drinks staining rugs, sneaked food out of the kitchen and got it on furniture, put hard to peel off stickers on furniture, flushed objects down the toilet, put pencils down the shower drain, and on and on. It's got better around 5-6.

Did you supervise that one as that's absurd they are behaving that way.

Well, this one has ADHD. Her mind works very differently. But I guess that's absurd to you.

NP here. I also have 3 kids and my ADHD/ASD kid was so much more destructive than the other 2. A lot of the same stuff you mentioned like flushing things down the toilet and drawing on the walls. This was during COVID childcare shutdowns in particular when we really couldn’t supervise 24/7. Some kids really are tougher this way.

The issue is not supervising and not kid proofing your house. They should not have access to anything that they can use to write on the walls and locks on the toilet.

My kids are only mildly destructive in the grand scheme of things but my 15 month old figured out how to open the child locks on my fridge and cupboard doors a few weeks ago. Some kids put all their learning power toward things they ought not.

I maintain that destruction levels are a mix of parental temperament/finances (do you ensure an adult is staring at the toddler every waking second or let them explore more independently) and child temperament. Some kids are just more hellbent on making things go boom than others.