When will my kid stop destroying everything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids are so much worse at this than other. I have 3 and 2 largely did the right thing. But then that other one was the one that scribbled on the walls, threw things at the doors leaving marks, spilled drinks staining rugs, sneaked food out of the kitchen and got it on furniture, put hard to peel off stickers on furniture, flushed objects down the toilet, put pencils down the shower drain, and on and on. It's got better around 5-6.

Did you supervise that one as that's absurd they are behaving that way.

Well, this one has ADHD. Her mind works very differently. But I guess that's absurd to you.

NP here. I also have 3 kids and my ADHD/ASD kid was so much more destructive than the other 2. A lot of the same stuff you mentioned like flushing things down the toilet and drawing on the walls. This was during COVID childcare shutdowns in particular when we really couldn’t supervise 24/7. Some kids really are tougher this way.

The issue is not supervising and not kid proofing your house. They should not have access to anything that they can use to write on the walls and locks on the toilet.

You really don't get it. These kids can get into anything. Absolutely anything can be interesting or used in a way you never thought possible by these highly creative, curious, unstoppable kids. While they can be frustrating they are also very delightful too. It's not necessary to live in a barren prison because the walls might get marked up by shoes, fingernails, toys, food, or anything else you think you can absolutely control. Because you can't. You clean the mess up as you go and look forward to calmer days.

These posters who think their supervision and “putting things away” makes the difference really do not get it. I moved everything out of my son’s room except his bed and books in an effort to help him get to sleep more easily. The kid climbed the walls! Like Spider-Man! Used the doorway and window sill to launch onto the bed. Yes I could lay with him until he fell asleep. But he has a twin brother!

Trust me, I am a hypervigilant parent. When my kids started playing rec baseball, I stored the bats and harder balls in the trunk of my car because I was literally concerned the kids would accidentally hurt each other or damage my home. I’ve had light fixtures ripped down when innocent birthday balloons were swished excitedly through the room. It really could be anything, and it’s not easily anticipated. Nine times out of ten I am within arm’s reach of what’s happening but I can’t pre-empt every single one. The incidents I’ve successfully helped intercept are in the thousands.

Be happy and satisfied (and even smug) that this isn’t your issue to solve in your own household. My kids are now middle school age and I’ve gained the wisdom that your kids will have other, different issues that mine don’t have. Everyone’s got something. I encourage you to try empathy instead of sanctimony.