Coworkers keep commenting on my clothes - what should I be wearing?

[Anonymous]

I think it's weird that they are making these comments. You aren't doing anything weird or anything that seems like flaunting wealth. I mean, a Coach bag? It's just rude for them to say these things. Hopefully they are actually trying to complement you, and maybe you're just taking it wrong?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been in similar situations and said I bought the thing they were commenting on with a huge discount/at an outlet/on sale

[Anonymous]

Also you can tell them these are gifts! Imagine the excitement lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are rude.

Don’t change.

Agree. They probably look like slobs, as most people do these days.

You remind me of a local librarian I know. She is plus sized, but is always dressed impeccably, with hair done, tasteful makeup, and really fun printed dresses that have some structure. Think like the nicer Boden ones. She looks great! I’m just a patron, but I always make sure to compliment her when I see her and love her outfit. The other librarians wear very boring and unprofessional looking clothes: stretchy pants and plain sweaters, sneakers. I bet she gets the side eye from them. Glad she doesn’t seem to care

[Anonymous]

Keep doing you!

I had this happen when I was new and the only single, childfree worker years ago.

I kept getting so many "must be nice" comments when someone would ask what I did that weekend and I said something like went to a show/concert/shopping. It was just jealousy. They also always commented on my clothing because I wore nicer pieces than theirs. "Better enjoy the fancy clothes now before you have kids. Pretty soon you'll be sorting through your white shirts looking for the one with the least noticeable stain!" I finally shut them up with a "honestly, Deb, I don't even know if I still want kids after hearing how much all you guys complain about yours." They laid off after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work in a small office and know my coworkers pretty well - enough to know DH and I have the highest HHI by far (though still low by DCUM standards, maybe $220k). I don't flaunt that, but I do tend to dress nicely and carry better handbags than them, for the simple fact that I'm very overweight and can't get away with cheaper fabrics and less structured accessories - I look like a fat slob! I'm not even talking super pricey - maybe a Coach or Brahmin bag and Talbots or J Jill vs. Target or LuLaRoe. I do have a pair of Louboutins I used to love wearing but had to stop, because...

...they continually comment on how pricey my clothes (and the few purses, especially) must be. Where is the happy medium here? Nothing has giant logos on it, so like I said, I'm not flaunting. Our dress code is business casual, but lots of people wearing leggings and tunics, something I just can't do. Do I really need to buy a cheap purse for work purposes? I love spending a bit more on them because handbags don't care how much I weigh.

I’ve dealt with similar dynamics my whole career because I work in government/non-profit land, and DH is in the private sector and makes way more than I do. So we can afford for me to buy nicer clothes and shoes. Like you, nothing really crazy expensive and no logos, but people still comment. I just don’t really respond. Like maybe I half-smile and say “mm,” but I don’t owe them an explanation for how I spend money.

[Anonymous]

It's a tough call, OP. On the one hand, your coworkers are completely wrong and just trying to put you in your place. On the other, these dynamics develop in offices, and staying under the radar for things that don't impact work is for the best. You certainly don't need to wear clothing that makes you uncomfortable like workout wear, just dial back whatever catches their eye. E.g. if no one wears silk shirts, find a simpler woven shirt. And, whenever there is a reason to step it up, like a regional meeting, wear your nicer things knowing you can put them in their place if they pipe up.

[Anonymous]

They're being rude, you should absolutely not change anything.

[Anonymous]

Obviously cargo shorts, flip flops and a crop top.

[Anonymous]

Tell them you're frugal and buy everything used.

[Anonymous]

Those are pretty basic brands. They aren't high end. What kind of crap do your coworkers wear?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those are pretty basic brands. They aren't high end. What kind of crap do your coworkers wear?

That was my question. Where do you work people dress like such crap? Those are all like GS-11 brands, nothing fancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, can I ask what clothes/brands you wear? I’m about a size 16 and wanting to up-level my wardrobe.

It’s in the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those are pretty basic brands. They aren't high end. What kind of crap do your coworkers wear?

That was my question. Where do you work people dress like such crap? Those are all like GS-11 brands, nothing fancy.

Do you think no one can tell this is a sockpuppeting slam on the OP? Mean girls are so obvious.

[Anonymous]

For years, I was half the age of my coworkers and the only POC in the office. I got a lot of comments about dressing up every day. They were not nicely said and often intimated that I thought I was better than the other women. Finally, one day I snapped, and said “This is my armor because I have to prove myself every day. Clients won’t take ME seriously in jeans.” They never said anything about my attire again.

You could be honest “I feel much more polished this way and it gives me a confidence boost.”