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How do I keep my 3 year old from running into the street?
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Anonymous
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Ok, not a glamorous, sexy post or one to get a lot of hits, but I'm really struggling w/ this problem. My 3 yo boy is very active, has a mind of his own, and has a lot of trouble listening when we're in public. He'll sit down on dirty street and try to squirm away (while we're holding his hand of course), tries to run away (sometimes succeeds), does not always stop when we yell "FREEZE!", laughs when we try to put him in time out, etc, etc. It's maddening not to mention heart stopping if there are cars around. It gets to the point where we just don't take him places if we think he's going to have a bad day.
How do other parents handle this with young children, particulary those like I've described? Thank you! |
Anonymous
| OP p.s. I also have a 1 yo so its not like my hands are always free. Thanks for any ideas. |
Anonymous
| I think this is the sort of case in which people find children's harnesses very, very helpful! Either that, or a stroller to keep in buckled in. |
Anonymous
| OK, no offense, but the kid has no respect for you guys. Laughing in your face is the best evidence. You have to get tougher. I am no parenting expert, so if I were in your shoes I would buy a book on inspiring respect (or fear...something). |
Anonymous
How is that no offense? And if you are not a parenting expert than why are you on this site? Odd. |
Anonymous
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Hold him tight by his upper harm when he doesn't cooperate. Make it unpleasant to squirm away. Speak in a low tone of voice with no uplift at the end.
In the meanwhile, make sure you always have an arm free for him - even if it means more trips. I really don't mean to be obnoxious, but you might want to watch some dog training shows on Animal Planet. You basically need your kid to heal, and you aren't showing your son who is in charge. |
Anonymous
| I agree with PP except that it's "heel" not "heal" Another great educational video is the Dog Whisperer episode of South Park. |
Anonymous
I without a doubt agree with this site and to the poster who said why are you on this post, if your no expert, is wrong. Most parents on here are not experts. Your absolutely right. If a child is laughing in your face he is saying "what are you going to do about it". Call him on his bluff. If timeouts don't work, find out what he has his heart set on doing and take that away. Kids listen at school to their teachers, they can listen at home if you set the same boundaries. Hold his arm uncomfortably is right. If he cries, so be it. He has the choice to listen, and if he doesn't things will be uncomfortable is little world. Gain control early in his life and you won't lose it later on. |
Anonymous
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When DS was 1, 2 and 3 we lived on a busy street with a tiny front yard patch, meaning that there was precious little room for error every time we walked out our front door. Our lot also abutted a high-use alley way.
What worked for us? Me scaring the complete bejezus out of him by yelling, yanking and getting in his face in a really scary way. I had to repeat this just a few times, maybe 3, and from then on we had complete compliance and docility. No darting or running off. Now, someone will undoubtedly post about positive parenting and stickers and child abuse in response to my admission that I freely chose to scare the hell out of DS AND yank his arm to boot. That's OK. I agree with you actually when it comes to things like picking up toys and teeth brushing and sharing. But not when it comes to a 3,000 lb. SUV vs. a disobedient, fast toddler. |
Anonymous
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What worked with my dd was practicing by playing a game of "stop" and "go" - over and over again on long stretches of safe sidewalk. So she got in the habit of stopping when I yelled "Stop!"
What worked with my cousin's children was her telling them that the oil spots in the street were smushed children who didn't mind their mothers  True story.
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Anonymous
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one rule I just tried to institute with my son, who's almost 3 (we have the same problem) was, "When it's black on the ground, you have to hold mommy or daddy's hand." It's basically the same thing. I told it to him at a time when he was NOT trying to run in the street but when we were outside, and since it's sort of "house rules" based, he likes it.
the defiance thing in general, we haven't figured out how to deal with 100% yet. 
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Anonymous
| My SIL used a wooden spoon. Worked great. |
Anonymous
The defiance thing can be easily figured out if you follow through early and often. If you say one more time and this will happen, and than issue 4 more warnings, their tuning you out. No empty threats. Kids learn in school, they will learn at home if you are consistent. |
Anonymous
| I actually scared my DS a bit too by saying he would get smooshed by the cars if he let go of my hand and that seemed to do the trick... but he's a pretty fearful kid in general. |
Anonymous
Not the pp to whom you are responding, but all I can say is, "Ahhhhhhh, the stunning arrogance of a parent who does not have an innately defiant child!" |