All this talk re: judging Palin for having an infant while running for office = sexism

[Anonymous]

Avoiding sexism does not mean viewing women and men as equal in every single respect. I am far from a Women are From Mars type of girl, but to state that Palin -- a new mother to a Downs baby -- should not be running for VP is not sexist just because I may not say the same thing about a man.

I'm not saying that a father cannot be a good primary caretaker, either. That's how it is in my house, pretty much.

Still, deep in my heart, I know that I offer my children something different than their father can. They may go to him for fun, but they come to me for comfort. There is something about having a baby in your belly for 9 months that just does something to you. Blood of your blood; bone of your bone. Whether you choose to or not -- the ability to provide that baby with all the nourishment it needs from your own body -- it's not a small thing.

I don't know. I gave up breast-feeding pretty quickly, for a variety of reasons. Six months after the birth of my first, we left him with his grandparents for one night to take a break. And I started lactating just from thinking about him and worrying about him and if he was happy and comfortable etc. Lactating!

A Downs child is particularly vulnerable. What kind of mother (STEWARDESS, as Bill Maher called her today) just hands him off to dad and starts campaigning across the country???? The baby is only months old.

It doesn't feel right to me. This proud, working mom from a women's college does not think non-sexist must be equalist. Men are physically stronger than women. That's a difference we can't do much about, and even I wanted to watch the men swim in the Olympics much more than the women. Women make babies and, in the process, most of the time become mothers. With all of the primal, hormonal, intuitive, instinctive coooey stuff that goes with it.

Except for Palin. She seems hard-hearted to me. Carrying a Downs baby to term in order to be politically consistent, and then basically treating that baby like shit. Yup, I'm making a judgment about her. And I don't think it's sexist.

[Anonymous]

I agree, I honestly don't believe I'm sexist but I think what she's doing is terrible. I, however, am also not a fan of Obama's running with a 7 and 10 year old. I like my politicians with college aged kids or above, in a perfect world.

[Anonymous]

I would have thought, politics aside, we would be applauding a woman for "having it all".

I am astonished at what I am reading.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree with the OP. And PP, why would you be astonished??? Being a feminist does NOT mean that we want women to act like "the guys". I want women in politics to bring something different to the table, otherwise, what is the point, she has a vagina so that's cool she is a political leader? No. I want women in power because I think we are different then men, and we need that voice in our government. I do not applaud Gov. Palin for her choices at all (not the carrying the baby which I admire), but going back to work after 3 days???? And now joining the VP campaign trail? That's just not the kind of woman I want in power. I, frankly, am amazed at the women who are proud of her. She has it all? No one has it all. And if you work FT, crazy hours, and have a family, I assure you do not have it all. My view is women can/should "have it all" but not all at the same time. There are seasons to life, and when your special needs baby is 3 days old, is not the time to go back to work, nor is it the time to run for VP when that child is just a few months old. And if you think feminism is all about "not judging" I challenge you on that-- how many feminists judge the SAHMs, particularly if we stay at home with an educated background? (I can't tell you how many women have said to my face that I was moving women backwards and wasting my education). I have so had it with the one side of the equation for so called feminists. There way (work, don't stay at home, be like a guy) is right.

[Anonymous]

Ditto. They shouldn't be projecting their own issues on to Palin.

[Anonymous]

sorry, PP here, meant to say "Their way. . . is right (and nothing else is).

[Anonymous]

"I would have thought, politics aside, we would be applauding a woman for "having it all". "

I care less about whether Palin has moral values or not based on her choice and more about how this really casts a misconception on finding balance between work and family life. As another proud working mom, Palin is not having it all and this image of having it all meaning 98% of your time is working and 2% is family is not what many of us do or strive to achieve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have thought, politics aside, we would be applauding a woman for "having it all".

I am astonished at what I am reading.

I think what you're missing is that she isn't "having it all." That would mean a fulfilling career and a fulfilling home life including time spent with your children. In order to be an effective campaigner and VP, she basically has to tell her infant that she'll see him in 4 or 8 years. It's not the kind of job that makes "having it all" an option.

[Anonymous]

I have never believed that mothering and fathering are the same. Over and over, studies show that kids suffer more when the lose a mother rather than a father. It is the case in death or absence. I am not a sexist, but we are nuts to believe it is the same. We are animals not robots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree, I honestly don't believe I'm sexist but I think what she's doing is terrible. I, however, am also not a fan of Obama's running with a 7 and 10 year old. I like my politicians with college aged kids or above, in a perfect world.

Glad someone mentioned this about Obama. Must say I both loved the picture of the girls and their parents on stage holding hands at the same time I was cringing thinking about what their lives must be like now. I would not make the choice Obama is making with girls so young at home.

On the other hand, while I might not make the choices these people make, I don't have more of a problem with a woman making them than a man. In my household, I don't have a special connection with dd because I'm her mother. We're both close to her and, FWIW, she's more likely to do traditional "girl" things with her metrosexual dad, such as clothes shopping and cooking. (But then dh has always said that culturally I'm really a straight guy.)

[Anonymous]

I'm sure both Obama and Palin wish their moments had come when their kids were older (i.e., we lived in a perfect world). However, their moments have come now. Would we deny either one's children the opportunity to see a parent reach for the chance to make a dramatic change for the better in the world?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I would have thought, politics aside, we would be applauding a woman for "having it all". "

I care less about whether Palin has moral values or not based on her choice and more about how this really casts a misconception on finding balance between work and family life. As another proud working mom, Palin is not having it all and this image of having it all meaning 98% of your time is working and 2% is family is not what many of us do or strive to achieve.

THANK YOU!!! Brilliantly put. I was trying to express this to DH last night. She does NOT have it all, lady.

If anything, this perception of "having it all" HURTS working mothers, because, guess what, you CAN'T. Life is about choices. What she has done here makes my stomach turn--leaving a 4 month old born premature and with special needs to run for VP. Come on. How many of us who have gone back to work and try desperately to achieve some work life balance? How many take pay cutes. or get passed up for promotions, because we realize that we can't give 100% at work and 100% at home. It's impossible. And by propping her up--yes, they are using her, and she is letting herself be used--they and she are doing working mothers no favors.

[Anonymous]

I couldn't disagree more. Let me start by saying that I support Obama and find Palin's views on most issues to be on the other side from me.

However, I applaud all women who can find and excel in some sort of balance in this world, even if that means daycare, spouses, grandparents or Nannies to help fill the gap.

I have no problem whatsoever with the idea that she can manage her family, and being on the campaign.

It takes a village, to borrow a phrase, and I do not think this is a slap to working mom's, parents, or families.

[Anonymous]

Still, deep in my heart, I know that I offer my children something different than their father can. They may go to him for fun, but they come to me for comfort. There is something about having a baby in your belly for 9 months that just does something to you. Blood of your blood; bone of your bone.

You are congratulating yourself too much. My husband can provide just as much comfort to our daughter as I can, it's no different. Your post is exactly what you claim it is not -- it is completely sexist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still, deep in my heart, I know that I offer my children something different than their father can. They may go to him for fun, but they come to me for comfort. There is something about having a baby in your belly for 9 months that just does something to you. Blood of your blood; bone of your bone.

You are congratulating yourself too much. My husband can provide just as much comfort to our daughter as I can, it's no different. Your post is exactly what you claim it is not -- it is completely sexist.

I disagree completely. The PP was commenting on how things are in her home, you are commenting on how things are in yours. One size does not fit all. My husband is the fun guy for my daughters and I am the one they want when they're sick, hurt, or worried. That's not congratulatory, it's a reflection of my personality and that of my husband. How things are in the Palin home, we have no idea.