How did you decide what your kids call their grandparents?

[Anonymous]

All this name talk has me thinking about this question.

My son has four sets of grandparents (my husband and I both come from divorced and remarried families). Except one set, he was the first grandchild. The second he was born - they were all very anxious to know what they were going to be called, and asked us to which we replied, "Um, we don't know. Grandma and Grandpa XX (insert first names here)?" None of them live near us, so most of the time he doesn't even see them and unfortunately, hasn't had much opportunity to get to know them or develop a relationship to call them anything. That said, he is becoming a preschooler now, and when we do see them - is it weird that they are all called Grandma and Grandpa? Does that confuse him? Should WE have chosen specific names for each of them? Or did they have a right to choose what they wanted to be called by our son?

We did have one slight issue where my husband's mom prior had been an adopted grandmother of sorts to triplet boys in the town where she lives, and she naturally thought that our son would/should call her what the triplets call her - which is a shorted version of her name because they couldn't pronounce her name. I kind of put an early end to that because I guess I wasn't particularly fond of my son inheriting calling his grandmother that just because she liked what some other kids call her.

Anyway, just curious how other families handle this - particularly those who have multiple sets of grandparents.

[Anonymous]

My sister-in-law decided that her children would call my mom "Grandma firstname", which my mother does not much care for. When I had my baby, I asked mom what she preferred. She likes Grandmama. So I'll start with that. But if my child comes up with something on his own, when he starts talking, I won't discourage it. I kind of like child-assigned names for grandparents. After all, most parents take their handle from baby's first sounds: mama, papa, dada, baba, etc.

[Anonymous]

I had multiple sets of grandparents growing up, and we always called them Grandma and Grandpa [Last Name] to differentiate. (Then again, my maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather's second wife had the same first name, so first names would not have worked.)

Because that was my habit, that is how I talk about our parents (one set apiece this time, thank God!) to my DS of 2 1/2. When I talk to my parents, I tell him to say hi to Grandma X, and when we speak to my in-laws, he is told to say hi to Grandma XX.

Hope this helps!

[Anonymous]

I grew up with Grandma Firstname and Grandpa Firstname so that's what my parents want to be called. My husband's family grew up with Grandma Lastname and Grandpa Lastname. But I'm hoping my in-laws will be amenable to the first name thing. (We have a while before DC can talk...).

[Anonymous]

We gave everyone a choice and they said they didn't care ... my MIL then freaked out when my son started calling her "abuela" (she's spanish) b/c she said it was too formal, not cute, etc. so we asked her to pick something else. 6 months later we chose something for her. Everyone else Grandpa first name or just Grandma.

[Anonymous]

Our siblings decided when they had children so we just went with that. My sister and my Mom talked about what she'd be called for so long and they came up with "Mima", which I actually don't much care for, but whatever. My Dad ended up being "PopPop", which he doesn't like and never has, but my sister called him Poppy starting in HS as a joke because he hates it and so that's what he is called now. My MIL asked to be called "Grammy" when her first grandchild was born, so her husband was called "Grampy". We found out he doesn't like that so we call him "Grandpa".

I grew up with only one set of living grandparents (My Mother's) who lived very far away, but we refered to my Dad's parents as "Grandma and Grandpa" and my Mom's as "Safta and Saba", which is Hebrew for the same thing. It really helps the kids know easily who they're talking about. I personally think it's best to use what the Parents want, or at least not what they expressly don't want. I don't like being called "Aunt MyName". People tell me that it's teaching respect to use Aunt MyName. I tell them that it's not respectful to call someone something they don't care for. So, my nephews call me by my first name, but my sisters refer to me as Aunt, but not really always. It is kind of a compromise.

[Anonymous]

We do Grandma [Lastname] and Grandpa [Lastname]. That's what I did growing up, so we just went with it. Three out of four of DH's grandparents were deceased by the time he was born, so he never had to differentiate. That said, my BIL's (DH's brother) kids call them Grandma and Grandpa [Firstname]. They don't seem to have a preference...

[Anonymous]

I guess I have it easy. Each grandparent is from a different country, so they are called Grandma/Grandpa in their native language. I love it because the children are aware of all the countries that they are a part of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I have it easy. Each grandparent is from a different country, so they are called Grandma/Grandpa in their native language. I love it because the children are aware of all the countries that they are a part of.

I like this! Unfortunately, my husband's native language uses Big Mama and Big Papa, which sounds a little funny to my ear, not to mention, difficult for a child to pronounce. He grew up calling his grandparents Dear Mama and Dear Papa. (Like the French Bonne Maman, instead of Grandemere)

[Anonymous]

You can also use Nana/Nanie and Pop

[Anonymous]

My inlaws chose Pappy and Bubbe. I don't mind Bubbe (Yiddish) but I hate Pappy. He picked it b/c it sounds ridiculous (strange sense of humor). Would it be bad to refer to them as Grandma X and Grandpa Y at home?? My mother agreed to Grammy and my father hasn't raised the issue (she's only met him a few times) but my parents are remarried and I'm torn about what to have DD call their new spouses. I just use their first names and I'd prefer to have DD do that, too, but they probably want something else. I feel pretty strongly that they shouldn't be called "Grandma Whatever" and "Grandpa Whatever" because they aren't.

[Anonymous]

If your parents don't care what they're called and you make the decision about names yourself, please give your siblings some input also.

My eldest sister came up with the stupidest names. And my parents then decided that all the grandchildren who followed had to call them the same names to avoid confusion. I'm still pissed that my child is expected to call my father "Dedad."

[Anonymous]

Wasn't there a post similar to this same topic not too long ago?

I felt like we've discussed this before.

[Anonymous]

My mom is what I called her mom; my dad is what I called his dad. They chose these names because they were meaningful to them. (The other set are Grandma and Granddad because that's what the older cousins already called them.)

I guess I'd be more open to letting your husband's mom use the name she likes, no matter how it came about.

[Anonymous]

My parents are Nana and Grandpa. My in-laws are Abuelita (grandma in Spanish, she is from Puerto Rico) and Baba Jidu (Grandpa in Arabic, he is from Iraq). My husbands birth mother (he was adopted and now is in touch with his birth mother) is Cha Cha (a nickname from her first name, that only my daughter calls her). My grandparents are Grandma <first name> and Grandpa <first name>.