Is this crazy?...I bought 6 carseats yesterday!

[zumbamama]

Yes six! Well, 3 boosters, 3 with back/arm/headrests. Ouch that hurt my wallet. See, my parents are always forgetting to get the carseat out of the other car at my grandmother's...I have spoken to them numerous times, but it doesn't stick that is unsafe an illegal to not put them in carseats. "Well nobody had carseats when you were little," says my Dad. I say, "yeah it took millions of kids dying in car accidents for the law to require parents to use car seats."

So they forgot again this week—and after I had words with them, they became bitter that I don't have more car seats...I have 4! Don't most people switch their carseats between cars? So I went to the store and bought 6 more...two for each car in my family...my mom's, my dad's, my grandmother's, and a spare just in case. After I calmed things over with my mom, I felt foolish for buying so many. I still can't believe I have 10 freakin' carseats. Ridiculous!

But today, I go to pick up my kids at my grandmother's and my parents offer to take them to the park and drive them home later. My mom said, oh but we only have one carseat. WHAT!!!! I put TWO in each car the day before. My Dad says "I took it out because I needed to put some boxes." I then justified my owning 10 carseats and said, it's okay, there's the spare. ayayay!

[Anonymous]

Quit blaming your parents. It is time to cut the apron strings and find childcare. I would never leave my child with someone who did not make their safety top priority. Maybe when they were not allowed to take their grandchild somewhere, they would get it together. Yes, you are crazy for buying 6 more car seats. You are crazy for letting someone that doesn't care, take care of your kids.

[Anonymous]

I can understand where it's frustrating. But I have to agree somewhat with the PP -- you're in a delicate situation with your family watching your kids. You're so lucky to have this (assumingly) free or nearly free set-up -- parents and grandparents! -- in contrast to so many parents' struggles with exorbitant childcare costs.

I always found that it was hard to be too pushy/demanding when it came to how my parents dealt with my kids. They only watched them every so often for a couple hours here and there but I always felt they were doing me a favor so I didn't want to push it too far with my "rules." And that's the problem when you aren't paying someone -- even family. They are doing you a favor. Honestly, I can't believe so many grandparents sacrifice essentially what should be their fun years to raise kids again. They should be on the golf course or taking trips. It's a very generous thing for them to do.

I think if your parents aren't doing what is really the most important thing to ensure your childrens' safety (after you've asked them) you probably need to bite the bullet and find some reliable (and safe) care for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you can mention to them that IT'S ILLEGAL and find out how much it would be if they got a ticket. They are obviously not taking your concerns and the law seriously (I won't go so far as to say they don't care about your kids, since they seem to think the law is somehow foolish and not really about safety).

[Anonymous]

I have to agree with the PPs who say that it might be time to find a different source of childcare.

It's definitely a touchy situation with grandparents taking care of your kids. It's nice that they're willing to do so, but it's definitely a different dynamic than hiring a childcare provider.

I don't necessarily believe that they don't care about your kids, but it would bother me that they are not taking your concerns seriously. And, of course, it's illegal!

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? Anyway, it's a delicate situation for sure. I'm sorry you have to deal with this but they've GOT to abide by the rules of the law.

[Anonymous]

Does your family watch your kids while you work, or is it more for you to do errands or things like that? If it is not an every day thing, could you just switch cars (let them drive your car with the carseats already installed, while you use their car to do errands)?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it's crazy but since you're dealing with crazy (in regards to not listening to you or the law) people, sometimes you have to fight crazy with crazy. But it sounds like you're handling it well.

Do you know any friendly policeman who could have a talk with them? Show them some of those YouTube videos about what happens when kids aren't in their carseats.

Oh, and you may want to see if your insurance company will give you some money back on your carseat purchase--some have programs like that to encourage carseat use.

[Anonymous]

I can see arguing with grandparents about other things - like whether or not they can give the kids candy, feed them pizza for breakfast, etc.

But, this should totally just be a non-issue. There needs to be no argument about car seats. It's just not something you should even have to discuss. There is no compromising - the kids need to be in car seats, no questions asked.

I understand that things may have been different back in the day, but that's no excuse now.

[Anonymous]

Even though they are being difficult, be happy you have family nearby! 6 carseats are cheaper than airline tickets. I have to fly my mom here from the west coast whenever we have a daycare issue. She's glad to do it, but my wallet's not always thrilled about it.
It's always a fight with a different generation about safety and health issues. We've learned from research and unfortunate experiences that seatbelts and carseats save lives. Do what my police officer father did with me when I turned 16 - show them real car accident photos. Some people had seatbelts and some didn't. But all the victims were dead. Scared the you know what out of me!

[zumbamama]

Yes I did tell them it was illegal. Also, they are not the daycare providers...so please apron strings PP, no need to be nasty. Both my parents work FT, but get off earlier than DH and I, (I have an hour commute) and my mom wants to play with the kids as much as she can. They pick them up at the end of the day and deliver them home...maybe 2-3 times a week, as I have dinner with my parents about 2-3 times a week. My mom is great with everything but the carseat. She reads, sings, cooks, plays with them and they get to play with their next door neighbors kids. I would never leave alone them with my Dad, no way could he handle them nor would he want to.

My grandmother is the daycare provider mainly for the youngest...and the oldest—part of the week during summer. She never forgets the carseat. She is the most amazing childcare provider I could ask for. She has relentless energy and her mind is sharp as a tack. I don't know any 80 year old who can mow her own lawn up-hill, sew a dress overnight, make it through an entire Zumba class and look awesome in short shorts.

Anyway, problem is solved. School starts next week, the youngest starts preschool and my cousin will pick them up instead of my parents. I just thought it is crazy to have 10 carseats. But totally worth it. ~ZM

[Anonymous]

I would have done it too.

BIL gave us a hard time for having four car seats. Two for my car, and two for DH"s car. I saw too many friends struggle with carseat issues, and I didn't want to deal with it.

[zumbamama]

Anonymous wrote:I would have done it too.

BIL gave us a hard time for having four car seats. Two for my car, and two for DH"s car. I saw too many friends struggle with carseat issues, and I didn't want to deal with it.

Ya, and I have my whole extended family (aunts/uncles/lot sof cousins/grandparents/great-grandparents) that lives within half a mile of each other...so if someone is stuck at work or on the train, there will always be someone to pick up my kids...so makes sense that every family member has a set of carseats. I used to leave the carseat at the daycare/school, but it has accidentally been picked up by someone else on two occasions...so yes, this makes the carseat juggling less confusing on everyone.

[Anonymous]

How many kids do you have? I have one child and 2 carseats. But now I'm considering buying another one to leave at my parent's house - so that would be 3 carseats for one child. If you have 3 kids, than 10 isn't such an outrageous amount. It just feels outrageous to your wallet.

[zumbamama]

I have 3, but one is a teenager. But between my whole family there are 8 cars. When I don't need them anymore, I'll give them to someone who does.