15 year old girl - help!

[Anonymous]

We have a 15 yo girl. I am not sure if it is the usual teen agnst, but she has an explosive temper and at times loses control completely.
Think a 3 year old being hungry and tired. She is remorseful afterwards, but she has single-handedly ruined outings and some vacations with her behavior. She is too old to spank. She is awaiting her permit, and I can't allow her to control 5,000 pounds of car with her temper. She was actually slapping herself and screaming as if possessed. I was shocked our neighbors didn't call the cops on us. She kept screaming "Donm't hit me, don't hit me"
I look for any serious suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Child psychiatrist? Hormonal changes at puberty can cause the onset of mood disorders. I'd check into this first.

[Anonymous]

OP here...I find it embarassing to even explore this on-line, anonymously. Thanks for the suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Agree with 16:37. She needs to learn new coping mechanisms for all these feelings and emotions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here...I find it embarassing to even explore this on-line, anonymously. Thanks for the suggestion.

OP, don't be embarrassed. If it is a medical issue, you would seek help just for any other medical issue, right? If your child needs glasses, you'd get her glasses. If she needs braces, you'd get her braces. You are just seeking help for this potential medical need she may need help for right now. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Start with a good psychologist for therapy. They'll refer you to a psychiatrist if necessary for meds. Waits for child psychatrists can be very long, psychotherapists are easier to get appointments with.

[Anonymous]

I would say that slapping herself, screaming like she is possessed and screaming Don't hit me all go beyond normal teen angst.

What are the stressors in her life right now other than being 15? Were there any big life events recently?

I third the suggestion to have her mental health assessed to see if there is an actual problem that needs support. Nothing to be embarrassed about - 1 in 5 youth have a mental health problem of some type.

[Anonymous]

Could be depression. Irritability and underlying anger are common signs of depression in teens.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she is possessed. Stop letting her watch porn and horror movies. That's just opening the door to things you don't want to deal with. Some people with "mental illness" are really just demon possessed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she is possessed. Stop letting her watch porn and horror movies. That's just opening the door to things you don't want to deal with. Some people with "mental illness" are really just demon possessed.

OMG put the booze down already.

[Anonymous]

After 3 girls: she's a drama queen. Tell her when she is calm that there is no way she can drive til she can control herself.

Then walk away. The drama decreases without an audience. Somewhere around 16 and a half it gets better, and if she can't drive, oh well.

And ALL teens are depressed and full of angst. It is the nature of the beast, and will go away with or without treatment. Don't feed into it.

[Montana]

Thanks so much to all suggestions, OP here.

[Anonymous]

I still tease my (45-y/o) sister by screaming "LEAVE ME ALOOOOONNNNNNNEEEE!!!" That was her mantra at age 15.

Agree with PP -- don't engage. And don't reward her behavior. Until she gets a grip, she doesn't drive.

[Anonymous]

You might remind her of what will happen if the neighbors decide to listen to her screams of 'don't hit me' and report you to CPS. When kids are angry at their parents, they think any other home would be better, but most of them don't realize that the foster home they could be put in would be much, much worse than the lovely home they live in and that they would be with other foster kids whose backgrounds are much different than theirs.

And no driving until the behavior stops. She is a safety hazard if she can't control herself. That threat in itself should be enough to make it stop, if in fact it is something she can control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After 3 girls: she's a drama queen. Tell her when she is calm that there is no way she can drive til she can control herself.

Then walk away. The drama decreases without an audience. Somewhere around 16 and a half it gets better, and if she can't drive, oh well.

And ALL teens are depressed and full of angst. It is the nature of the beast, and will go away with or without treatment. Don't feed into it.

This attitude is what leads to the high rates of teen suicide. All teens experience feelings of depression, all teens are not depressed. It may be all drama but it may not be. Minimizing the impact of poor mental health or ignoring mental illness leads to really bad outcomes. It really doesn't hurt to have her assessed.