How much would DH have to earn for me to SAH?

[Anonymous]

So here we are, stressful week (already, and it's only Tuesday) and I'm dreaming about SAH with my kiddo instead of shlepping into work every day.

I'm wondering who out there has made things work SAH without being a biglaw spouse Here's my monthly budget breakdown, roughly:

$2400 Mortgage
$300 Utilities
$100 Cell phones
$2300 Child care (this would obviously be eliminated if I SAH)
$600 Groceries
$100 Gas and car insurance
$50 Misc transportation costs (usually me parking at work a few days a month instead of metroing or walking, so might be eliminated if I SAH)
$300 Entertainment (eating out, entertaining guests at home, booze, etc)
$200 Travel fund (one trip per year to visit family)
$200 Misc (haircuts, clothing, etc)

We have about $60K in our rainy day fund (liquid) and about $200K in our retirement funds (not liquid).

Don't think I'm missing anything but I could be...

DH makes $94K and I make $80K. What do you all think? Can I SAH or does DH have to earn more? I'm happy to cut corners in a lot of ways, but we are already reasonably frugal so I'm not sure how much more we'd cut.

[Anonymous]

I've been WOH full time, part time and I love love love now SAH. My recommendation to any working parent: try part time first! (It didn't work for me but it's the best combo for others.)

[Anonymous]

I'll be staying home starting next month, and my husband isn't in biglaw - he's a fed, and I'm currently a state employee. After running through the pros and cons of me staying home, we went through our budget - my advice would be to go through your checkbooks and credit card statements to be sure you aren't overlooking things, because we found a handful of smaller things that way. We're making a couple of changes, and I expect our grocery bill will drop, but on the whole not much will have to change for us. We plan to revisit things in a few months to see if we need to make any tweaks to our budget. I say go back through your expenses to be sure you're not missing anything, then add it up and compare it to what your husband brings in each month. Entertainment and misc look like two areas you could find some savings in pretty easily.

[Anonymous]

Spend 6 months trying to live on your DH's salary. Your entire paycheck, minus childcare costs, goes into savings. See if this is a lifestyle that works for you. If it is, then give SAH a shot (maybe trying part-time work first, per PP's suggestion). If it isn't, then hey, you've got a seriously bulked up savings account.

[Anonymous]

I didn't actually run the #s but it looks like you could make it work. We have similar expenses and income and I also want to SAH soon. It really depends how frugal you are with the extras. For example, we don't really eat out much. Try living now on this budget (saving your entire salary except for the daycare costs) and see how you do.

[Anonymous]

Life insurance?

College savings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life insurance?

College savings?

And continued contributions toward retirement.

[Anonymous]

My husband makes around $130K and I SAH. We have a small townhouse, drive older vehicles that are paid for, and are both pretty frugal people.
As my youngest will enter Kindergarten in the fall, it will be time for me to go to back to work to help us save for retirement, college, etc. I've stayed home for 7 years, but realize that can't last forever. We've made it work, though and I wouldn't change anything. But, I know it will be a hard hill to climb to get back into work. I won't be able to go back at the same level I was when I left. I'll have to swallow my pride and accept grunt work until I can prove my ability again.

[Anonymous]

You need to figure in the cost of:

1) Health insurance/medical expenses
2) Home repairs/maintenance
3) Roth/IRA for you, mom
4) Do you have life insurance (if not, you should definitely have it, esp if you decide to SAH)?
5) Activities for your child--classes, sports, music, etc.

Also, when you SAH, you will also be accruing expenses--meeting friends for lunch/coffee, outings, parking fees, etc.

Before you quit, I would recommend what the PPs have stated--try to live only on DH's income (minus things like health insurance, if that is paid from your employer) for 6 months. I would also try to go part-time before quitting completely.

[Freeman]

It really depends entirely on what you and your husband are comfortable with. Sure, it would be possible to live on the $94k salary alone, but that doesn't mean you would enjoy the lifestyle adjustment needed. I liked the advice about trying to live solely on the one salary for six months before making the decision. Also, make sure you take into account future expenditures that may come up, such as college, car payments, medical expenses, etc., and how they would impact your finances. Another big factor is how secure your husband's job is likely to be in the future. Being the sole wage-earner when your job outlook is rocky can be an extremely stressful situation. All in all, the answer is really up to you.

[Anonymous]

Also, when you SAH, you dont have daycare or nanny costs, but you might have costs for classes, weekly activities, increased utility costs by being home all day, etc.

[Anonymous]

I think that things would be too tight money wise if you stayed home. Your husband's salary would cover your expenses, but you wouldn't be saving anything for retirement or for vacations or such.

[Anonymous]

My dh earns the exact same as yours and we have four children (8 and under). We make it work but we did have very good savings prior to starting our family. Our mortgage is lower also and that is our only debt. We do live in a small house and have old cars etc but other than that we live comfortably. We take vacations and have good retirement savings but we do not have much in the way of college savings - that is where we are lacking. I hope to contribute (part time anyway) once the children are all in school. Good luck with this difficult decision!

[Anonymous]

As already suggested, live exclusively on your husband's salary for a while. Maybe 6 months. See how you are doing and if you can cover your current expenses and save for college and retirement. If not, then look at what you can cut. If the math still doesn't work out, see how much more you would need to make it work. That will help you figure out how much more money your DH needs to make (and if that is possible) or alternatively how much part-time you might need. DH and I did that and I am SAHM. We knew certain expenses would go down (eating out at lunch and parking) while others would increase --groceries and miscellaneous (you will want to leave the house to do stuff with your kids on occasion and it may cost money). Spending time with the kids and not being stressed about work, etc. is totally worth it but I think that the stress of not enough money can be very bad so I would check out whether you can do it and be relatively happy before you actually do it.

[Anonymous]

We have a budget similar to yours and I manage to stay home with an income from my spouse of about $100K. However: if it's very important for you to SAH, as it was for me, you have to decide whether it's MORE important than other things you do now. Could you see cutting your entertainment budget, for instance, cutting down on grocery bills and being more frugal in that regard, buying clothes on consignment for the kids (fine when they're toddlers and preschoolers, harder as they get older)? I decided I would be happier not working, even if it meant forgoing the organic grapes, sticking to two buck Chuck, and not partaking of a lot of the stay-at-home parent mainstays: Gymboree, baby and me Spanish classes, and so forth.

It's all worth it to me, but it's a delicate balance of how much you dislike your job, how much you enjoy staying home with kids, how devoted you are to your gym membership and going out to the movies and being able to buy those cherries even though they cost $20. In other words: I think your husband earns enough, but you will have to make sacrifices. (Your monthly entertainment and miscellaneous costs are way too much, in my opinion, and $2400 a year for travel also is a little steep. You are going to end up going into debt if you can't cut those, so I suggest trying to do so BEFORE you quit your job and seeing how it feels.)