Allegation of teacher hitting student

Allegation of teacher hitting student - how to handle

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08/24/2008 09:50

Subject: Allegation of teacher hitting student - how to handle

Anonymous

I'm interested in how other parents at other daycares would expect the following situation to be handled.

Our child attends the montessori room in Family Academy - Less than 2 weeks after starting in this room, as I was putting him to bed, he said that he hit anotehr student, and that student hit him, and then he told me (without my asking), that the teacher hit him and said, Don't do that!" The next morning, I took the day off, kept my child home and called the director, noting that this is a sensitive issue and I have no intention of wrongfully accusing a teacher who may or may not have donet hat, but looked to her for guidance on how to deal with the situation.

The response:
1. First response of director - I will take care of this and get back to you. [I was happy.]
2. Second response - She calls me back and says, I did not know you were keeping your child home, that is totally unnecessary - Come back and let's deal with it.
I said, I don't feel comfortable until I know what's going on. She says - well, I found out that yoru child is never alone with that teacher, as I was worried it was during the time that she was teh only teacher in the room (a 1 hr period int he morning). So, there is nothing to worry about. So, i say, well, there were a few days during the week when our child was dropped off early (no response), and did you speak to the teacher directly? She had not.
3. Third response- We set up a meeting, the director was late to the meeting, teh 2 teachers (lead and teacher implicated) - were present
and reassured me that they do not handle discipline by tugging, smacking, or anthyhing even close to a hit. They stated that they go down to the child's level and explain that that wrong behavior is not good, and don't do that, They did say that they had not even started in discipline mode b/c my child had just arrived int he classroom and they were starting to get to know each other, so they were going easy on our child. They were not defensive, very calm, and genearlly I did feel better after the meeting, which I did not think was possible, adn my child resumed. The director says - well, yoru child probably made it up.
I ignored that last comment, though I made note of it. While it is possible taht b/c he was just developing language, that the statement may not have beena ccurate, adn I do not deny that, even if there is a 1% possibility that it is right - I cannot take that chance. Finally - I do not believe, although I may be wrong, that children start imaginative play at 2, and I don't think they make up things at this age. Our child has said many things that were extremely accurate about his classroom and teachers, that were benign, and when I had checked tghem out, just to see if they were true, they were often true. That said, I dont' think you can discount completely what a 2 year old says.
4. 2 months later, I started reading about other parents' experience in our same room w/the same teachers on thsi blog, and I'm a little concerned now -
Did I handle this appropriately? Was the response adequate? I am not sure now. I had hoped there was a protocol in place to deal wtih such issues, but apparently at our daycare there is not, and I am supposed to rely on a gut and blind trust.