Tell me about your weird co-worker(s)...

[Anonymous]

My office was "business casual," which was very casual for many of my coworkers. One day there was an email sent around banning graphic T-shirts, including Disney shirts. One woman (and she was one of the kindest people) was upset because she'd just bought a bunch of Disney T-shirts to wear to work. Yes, she'd bought T-shirts with cartoon pictures of the little mermaid and Winnie the Pooh etc specifically as a work wardrobe. Casual Friday eventually became a day when we were allowed to wear such shirts.

[Anonymous]

1) He gets to work 2 hours before his shift starts even though he lives 15 mins down the street. Yes that's weird to me that you MUST come to work this early then proceed to talk to all of us who are actually working.

2) Another gets super angry if you take "her" parking spot; she will actual go find the person and yell at them;Parking is first come, first serve...we have no assigned spots.

3) Another can't stay at her desk if she hears anyone cooking their food in the microwave. I'm thinking she must not have food at home if everytime someone heats theirs up, here she comes to see.

4) I know way too many coworkers who don't wash their hands after using the restroom.

5) Not every woman in the workplace thinks it's cute to have a man following them around. I've had to deal with it and it's straight up creepy as fuck. If you need a release then go home to your wife/girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

At my old job we had a coworker who was extremely obese, like "my 600 lb life" obese. He was older and married, and a homeowner in an ok neighborhood, but would regularly sleep in his SUV in the parking lot of the building.

At that same job, when I first started a coworker shared some gossip with me that another person had come out as male to female transgender a few years back before I started. I didn't want to pry so I said "oh that's interesting" and assumed it would be obvious when I saw the person ... I guessed completely wrong. Hah! I assumed it was the easily 6 foot tall middle aged woman with a damn near baritone voice who wore nothing but baggy jeans and sweatshirts, but nope, she was a mom of 4 and grandmother of one.

[Anonymous]

We had a coworker who would translate for her non-English speaking relatives on the phone with their insurance company or whatever they needed. So she used her office phone on speakerphone, her cell phone on speakerphone, and would be the translator between the two. So on her cell phone speakerphone you'd hear something in Spanish, the employee would translate it to English, and then you'd hear something in English from her work speakerphone and she'd translate it to Spanish. We sat in cubes, not offices. I wanted to punch her. This went on for 2+ hours every day for a solid week before our boss finally got the stones to write her up for it.

[Anonymous]

All from law firms:

-The old partner who made many hundreds of thousands a year yet would literally buy $3 microwave mac and cheese for dinner on business trips.

-The person psychopath who was always hyper-aggressive in even the smallest interaction. He ended up slamming his office door so hard that the doorframe busted apart. He also smashed a phone to bits during a meeting/call with others in the room.

-The person who went on an international trip to a high-risk country and ditched the rest of the team and security to rent a car and drive all over the country. He was fired for a laundry list of weirdness and incompetence.

-The partner who wore his bluetooth headset and blackberry at all times like a cyborg.

-The guy who put his face under the office coffee machine and poured coffee directly into his mouth instead of getting a mug like everyone else.

[Anonymous]

The 300 pound sweaty Sr. Manager that chewed with his mouth open smelled like Philly sub onions at all times (we finally realized it was a combination of his daily sub habit and bad B.O.). We would all try not to gag in strategy meetings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All from law firms:

-The old partner who made many hundreds of thousands a year yet would literally buy $3 microwave mac and cheese for dinner on business trips.

-The person psychopath who was always hyper-aggressive in even the smallest interaction. He ended up slamming his office door so hard that the doorframe busted apart. He also smashed a phone to bits during a meeting/call with others in the room.

-The person who went on an international trip to a high-risk country and ditched the rest of the team and security to rent a car and drive all over the country. He was fired for a laundry list of weirdness and incompetence.

-The partner who wore his bluetooth headset and blackberry at all times like a cyborg.

-The guy who put his face under the office coffee machine and poured coffee directly into his mouth instead of getting a mug like everyone else.

The last one is the best, lol. But at my old firm there were 2 who fit the descriptions of the bolded. A third guy, a junior partner, had a huge collection of creepy bobblehead dolls all over his office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All from law firms:

-The old partner who made many hundreds of thousands a year yet would literally buy $3 microwave mac and cheese for dinner on business trips.

-The person psychopath who was always hyper-aggressive in even the smallest interaction. He ended up slamming his office door so hard that the doorframe busted apart. He also smashed a phone to bits during a meeting/call with others in the room.

-The person who went on an international trip to a high-risk country and ditched the rest of the team and security to rent a car and drive all over the country. He was fired for a laundry list of weirdness and incompetence.

-The partner who wore his bluetooth headset and blackberry at all times like a cyborg.

-The guy who put his face under the office coffee machine and poured coffee directly into his mouth instead of getting a mug like everyone else.

The last one is the best, lol. But at my old firm there were 2 who fit the descriptions of the bolded. A third guy, a junior partner, had a huge collection of creepy bobblehead dolls all over his office.

Almost every biglaw firm has a #2. The real measure of the firm is whether they put up with it for very long, even if the partner is very profitable.

[Anonymous]

Head of our department wears two watches. One on each wrist. #freak

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to work with a guy who I'm pretty convinced was a sociopath. He loved playing little tricks on other coworkers. He used to tell me (he trusted me I guess) about how he never felt guilty about anything he did. He pretty much hated all our other coworkers, and he'd mock them in various ways.

Glad to be out of that office!

Sounds familiar. What was the first letter of his first name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a coworker who would go through our offices after we left and leave things out, so we would know he went through our offices. The same coworker would unplug everything at the shared computer we used to serve the public, just so one of us would have to plug it all in the next day.

Another coworker memorized when everyone comes in and leaves, and points out if you come in later one day or leaves early. No, they were not the receptionist.

I bet many of these posts are the offenders themselves posting in order to vicariously brag about how they torment their coworkers. Case in point. This post describes two people with the same control-over-others issue. Two people like this in a single office? Possible, but more likely that it is the poster describing herself. That's the vibe I get from it.

[Anonymous]

This is my favorite DCUM thread. So funny.

[Anonymous]

When my coworker first sits at his desk in the morning he reads Bible. He gets up and frequently and walks away, outside I think. I suspect he prays there too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eating the same lunch every day isn't weird. Not washing your hands after using the restroom is weird and gross and yes, people notice.

I beg to differ. No "normal" person would (or could stomache) to eat the SAME thing EVERYDAY. Sorry but those who do have a few loose screws.

Millions of people all over the world eat the same thing for lunch every day. I’ve done it a few different periods in my life. One of my kids did for two years straight. Unclear how that’s different from having the same thing for breakfast every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. One who is a spinster and still lives at home at 32 and seems to have no life outside of work.

2. One who calls everyone 'Angel' 'Darling' 'Beautiful/Gorgeous'

Are you the poster who kept calling MM a spinster?