Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this is a tough one. I'm usually one who is a "give my parents what the want" camp, but the emotional blackmail of not going if they don't have first class is BS. Also, would they have paid for first if you weren't in it? They just want your miles (which, people know miles aren't free right? They are earned with money).

I'd say, leave your kids to make the choice, but I would say let your kids have them.

Sixteen pages in, and the second response is still the best one. This is where I come down too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t even imagine a scenario where I wouldn’t give my parents the most comfortable seats.

Same. I’m astonished at most of the responses on here.

I’m astonished that you are astonished. Have you never met a person who has a family member who is an ass? You have to indulge the ass(es) somewhat, but there are limits.

Sure but if they are asses why did you invite them to vacation with you? Since you did, it’s astonishing that you’d let them sit in the back of the plane while you and kids are in the front

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t even imagine a scenario where I wouldn’t give my parents the most comfortable seats.

Same. I’m astonished at most of the responses on here.

I’m astonished that you are astonished. Have you never met a person who has a family member who is an ass? You have to indulge the ass(es) somewhat, but there are limits.

Sure but if they are asses why did you invite them to vacation with you? Since you did, it’s astonishing that you’d let them sit in the back of the plane while you and kids are in the front

"Mom and Dad, if you'd like to come on vacation with us, we'd love to have you. We'll take care of the hotel and other things while there, you just get your flight. We're on UA flight 1234."

Now please tell me where in there is any indication that OP's parents should purchase coach tickets but then feel entitled to the better seats others' have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whose parents are this kind of weak financially? As noted by the poster above, my parents killed it as equity and real estate investors riding their generational wave. They would be ashamed to put a hand out. They both know how well things broke for them and how much harder they are now.

Life is a panoply. Many people don't have opportunities, or don't take advantage of those available. We are comfortable financially (public schools, good government managerial type jobs now) and have one of our parents living in senior affordable housing, with no more than a few thousand in the bank.

Your parents don’t sound like they are making claims on your resources.
But it’s simple, there are rules, you move it to the next generation. You don’t ask for resources from those younger than you. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t even imagine a scenario where I wouldn’t give my parents the most comfortable seats.

Same. I’m astonished at most of the responses on here.

I’m astonished that you are astonished. Have you never met a person who has a family member who is an ass? You have to indulge the ass(es) somewhat, but there are limits.

Sure but if they are asses why did you invite them to vacation with you? Since you did, it’s astonishing that you’d let them sit in the back of the plane while you and kids are in the front

"Mom and Dad, if you'd like to come on vacation with us, we'd love to have you. We'll take care of the hotel and other things while there, you just get your flight. We're on UA flight 1234."

Now please tell me where in there is any indication that OP's parents should purchase coach tickets but then feel entitled to the better seats others' have?

Exactly. They made a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whose parents are this kind of weak financially? As noted by the poster above, my parents killed it as equity and real estate investors riding their generational wave. They would be ashamed to put a hand out. They both know how well things broke for them and how much harder they are now.

Life is a panoply. Many people don't have opportunities, or don't take advantage of those available. We are comfortable financially (public schools, good government managerial type jobs now) and have one of our parents living in senior affordable housing, with no more than a few thousand in the bank.

Your parents don’t sound like they are making claims on your resources.
But it’s simple, there are rules, you move it to the next generation. You don’t ask for resources from those younger than you. Period.

Ha yeah actually another parent probably (not totally sure because of the age when it happened) stole several thousands of dollars in babysitting money from a childhood bank account at the age of 17. Went to get money out and it was gone- and that parent was the only one with access but said "don't know what happened".

Some of us have to be very careful with our boundaries with parents!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all seem terrible, but you and your DH are the worst for not putting old people in the most comfortable seats.

+1 Grandpa should never have had to ask. I am Italian and no daughter of mine would be a primadonna on her throne in first class while her Grandmother is cramped in steerage. Not after Ellis Island, mia cara.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree that you should be giving the first class seats to your parents, but it also rude for them to demand it.

+ 1000

This would be the last trip I invite them on.

+1

so rude

[Anonymous]

In my (southern but pretty modern in most ways) family, we're taught to show deference to our parents.

I think it's really weird that you'd give your kids priority over your own parents. My kids know that grandparents are honored for the many sacrifices they made for their families in the past and for the role they continue to play. We always try to make them comfortable and do for them.

Your parents aren't emotionally blackmailing you. They're making a statement about how screwed up your values are in the best way that they can. I can easily imagine my mother doing the same and I wouldn't blame her. I would feel horribly guilty about flying first class with my parents stuck in coach. Really, what a weird thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all seem terrible, but you and your DH are the worst for not putting old people in the most comfortable seats.

+1 Grandpa should never have had to ask. I am Italian and no daughter of mine would be a primadonna on her throne in first class while her Grandmother is cramped in steerage. Not after Ellis Island, mia cara.

In total agreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whose parents are this kind of weak financially? As noted by the poster above, my parents killed it as equity and real estate investors riding their generational wave. They would be ashamed to put a hand out. They both know how well things broke for them and how much harder they are now.

Are you kidding? You can't imagine that some parents invested all their resources to give their children the best chance for success? It's probably the most common and American of stories. My parents gave and gave and gave to their six children, and now live on a fixed income. I am so glad to have the means to pamper them now -- out of gratitude and duty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your parents are cheap hustlers.

I can only imagine how you treat your own parents, and what lovely names you call them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these people talking about the elderly grandparents. I am 37 and my grandparents are in their 80’s. These people have teen grandkids. They could be 50.

People in your family must have been very young when they had their kids. When my kids were in their early 20s, their grandparents were in their 90s.

I can’t even imagine being in my 50s and having teenage grandchildren.

Exactly. My mother is 80 and I have two teens. None of us flies first class, but if I had one first class ticket, I would certainly give it to her and fly coach myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree that you should be giving the first class seats to your parents, but it also rude for them to demand it.

Agree with both points

[Anonymous]

I would never give in to this kind of temper tantrum from your parents. You want to teach your kids that if someone else has something that they want, they can just demand and make threats and get their way? Nope! Your parents inherited millions! You’re already paying for almost entire rest of the trip! They could have bought their own first class tickets!

In our family, money trickles down, not up. I would never ever want my kids to spend money on me! Your parents should be appreciative of all the money and effort you have spent planning the trip.