I don't understand why parents waste so much money on private schools in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why so many people in this area waste money on fancy new cars, expensive houses and beach homes (sorry, just being facetious) … We drive second hand cars and own a modest home in a good school district as we choose to spend our finite money on education and travel. This is obviously because we value education and travel.

We have done both public and private and the quality privates in this area, and in our experience, privates are preparing their students for college better. The private Teachers know the students better, and the advisory small group daily check in system allows all students to have close access to adult mentors. They have much more vibrant visual and performing arts programs and all students can participate in competitive athletics if they wish. School admin and teachers communicate quickly and without anywhere near as much bureaucracy.

That said, we like living in an area with relatively high quality public schools because public and private schools compete with each other and that provides better outcomes for all.

+1 For us, it has been much easier to form strong home school partnerships in good quality private schools …. Some students do fine in public and like the rah rah football teams/ big sports/ STEM ops … It is best for society and everyone to have a strong, well-funded public school system. Healthy competition is good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't think public school parents understand just how much better private is for kids. It's so much more than college matriculation. You think the public and private school kids really have the same level of education going into college? Having a public and private student score the same on the SAT does not mean they had remotely the same educational experience. LOL that OP thinks that.

The resources, the opportunities, the attention to detail, the level of teaching, the other students, the buildings, the land, the field trips, the plays, the public speaking....

I will add that not all privates are created equal, however +1000 to all the above. You really can't make a public parent understand the subtle and meaningful differences between learning environments.

Agree. My son went to a private because to succeed he needed to be seen. My daughter did not and wanted to go to public which she did. They are both happy and at colleges that are right for them. You are making a full human being not a widget. Different people need different things to thrive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't think public school parents understand just how much better private is for kids. It's so much more than college matriculation. You think the public and private school kids really have the same level of education going into college? Having a public and private student score the same on the SAT does not mean they had remotely the same educational experience. LOL that OP thinks that.

The resources, the opportunities, the attention to detail, the level of teaching, the other students, the buildings, the land, the field trips, the plays, the public speaking....

I will add that not all privates are created equal, however +1000 to all the above. You really can't make a public parent understand the subtle and meaningful differences between learning environments.

Agree. My son went to a private because to succeed he needed to be seen. My daughter did not and wanted to go to public which she did. They are both happy and at colleges that are right for them. You are making a full human being not a widget. Different people need different things to thrive.

NP with kids who have done both public and private. I love the "needing to be seen" comment. That was true for my son as well. My other kids were fine in public schools, but each of them has a personality that was better suited for the size and environment of public school.

My kids who attend private don't go to a prestigious school. There are more opportunities in our local public for the highest achievers. However, for my kid who was standing off to the side disconnected and discouraged, having smaller classes and easier access to teachers was a game-changer. Beyond academics, he has learned how to figure things out on his own and to seek help when he needs it. His teachers actually know him, even though he's not the best student in the class. In public school, there was too much variation between teachers, too many students, and extremely limited time to connect with teachers standing in the way of him feeling capable. Public school administration forces teachers to do too much that prevents them from being present for their students. I don't understand why that doesn't get more attention, but it is a huge problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It will never NOT be amusing to me watching people who sent their precious cargo to schools like connelly schoolboy the holy child, tuition: $32,000+ ,or Georgetown day, tuition: $38,000+ , only to have said kids ending up at colleges where 80%+ of the student body is amdd of kids who hail from public schools .

As if that wasn't enough, a good number of them —especially the women—end up with 'Mrs jobs': digital content creator, social media director etc . Jobs that scream " I'm waiting for some trust fund kid or some financially promising bro to come save me so I can be his glorified cheerleader " . Fellow private school flame outs need not apply.

Ultimately, people have the right to spend their money as they see fit . But men!! Few things have as lousy a return on investment as private schools.

Well, we are considering private for our kid. The reason is not goal-related, though I know plenty of people who are. Our kid is a bit of an orchid. He's doing okay in public, but he does much better with more one-on-one attention, smaller groups, more hand holding. It's not to get a more amped job, it's to make sure he's growing and enjoying learning. When you are talking about high SES kids, you might think of private education as a fancy car--the kids get to the same place, but some kids will have more fun on the bus, some kids will enjoy a nice car.

Do you really think that most private school parents send their kids to private for the end of goal of getting into an Ivy League school? You clearly have never been to a private school or had a kid enrolled in one. It offers a culture and lifestyle that you can't get in public school. They want their kids rubbing shoulders with the dad who is an important political appointee; an executive at the World Bank; a rich family that hosts social functions at the country club. Most of these private school parents don't care if their kid ends up at XYZ state school but up until they are adults, they want complete control over how and where they are socialized and who they socialize with until they graduate high school school. And since most of them are well heeled enough to foot the private school bill, they don't actually *need* an Ivy League school stamp to "make it in life" like you and your kid(s) probably do. Just ask any private school family you know - they will be very honest with you about this.

[Anonymous]

Because Ballou can only send so many kids to Yale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It will never NOT be amusing to me watching people who sent their precious cargo to schools like connelly schoolboy the holy child, tuition: $32,000+ ,or Georgetown day, tuition: $38,000+ , only to have said kids ending up at colleges where 80%+ of the student body is amdd of kids who hail from public schools .

As if that wasn't enough, a good number of them —especially the women—end up with 'Mrs jobs': digital content creator, social media director etc . Jobs that scream " I'm waiting for some trust fund kid or some financially promising bro to come save me so I can be his glorified cheerleader " . Fellow private school flame outs need not apply.

Ultimately, people have the right to spend their money as they see fit . But men!! Few things have as lousy a return on investment as private schools.

Well, we are considering private for our kid. The reason is not goal-related, though I know plenty of people who are. Our kid is a bit of an orchid. He's doing okay in public, but he does much better with more one-on-one attention, smaller groups, more hand holding. It's not to get a more amped job, it's to make sure he's growing and enjoying learning. When you are talking about high SES kids, you might think of private education as a fancy car--the kids get to the same place, but some kids will have more fun on the bus, some kids will enjoy a nice car.

Do you really think that most private school parents send their kids to private for the end of goal of getting into an Ivy League school? You clearly have never been to a private school or had a kid enrolled in one. It offers a culture and lifestyle that you can't get in public school. They want their kids rubbing shoulders with the dad who is an important political appointee; an executive at the World Bank; a rich family that hosts social functions at the country club. Most of these private school parents don't care if their kid ends up at XYZ state school but up until they are adults, they want complete control over how and where they are socialized and who they socialize with until they graduate high school school. And since most of them are well heeled enough to foot the private school bill, they don't actually *need* an Ivy League school stamp to "make it in life" like you and your kid(s) probably do. Just ask any private school family you know - they will be very honest with you about this.

Eh, I can see the connections being made, but at the end of the day who wants to help out a mediocre kid who can only get into XYZ state school? If I'm doing a professional favor or spending my time mentoring someone, I'm doing it for the kid I think can actually accomplish something, not the one who is going to be an embarrassment to recommend or an abject waste of my time. Probably why some of my mentees are now important political appointees in the Biden administration or executives at World Bank. To be fair, some of them went to Andover/Exeter and the others went to places like TJ, so public vs. private made no difference there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It will never NOT be amusing to me watching people who sent their precious cargo to schools like connelly schoolboy the holy child, tuition: $32,000+ ,or Georgetown day, tuition: $38,000+ , only to have said kids ending up at colleges where 80%+ of the student body is amdd of kids who hail from public schools .

As if that wasn't enough, a good number of them —especially the women—end up with 'Mrs jobs': digital content creator, social media director etc . Jobs that scream " I'm waiting for some trust fund kid or some financially promising bro to come save me so I can be his glorified cheerleader " . Fellow private school flame outs need not apply.

Ultimately, people have the right to spend their money as they see fit . But men!! Few things have as lousy a return on investment as private schools.

Well, we are considering private for our kid. The reason is not goal-related, though I know plenty of people who are. Our kid is a bit of an orchid. He's doing okay in public, but he does much better with more one-on-one attention, smaller groups, more hand holding. It's not to get a more amped job, it's to make sure he's growing and enjoying learning. When you are talking about high SES kids, you might think of private education as a fancy car--the kids get to the same place, but some kids will have more fun on the bus, some kids will enjoy a nice car.

Do you really think that most private school parents send their kids to private for the end of goal of getting into an Ivy League school? You clearly have never been to a private school or had a kid enrolled in one. It offers a culture and lifestyle that you can't get in public school. They want their kids rubbing shoulders with the dad who is an important political appointee; an executive at the World Bank; a rich family that hosts social functions at the country club. Most of these private school parents don't care if their kid ends up at XYZ state school but up until they are adults, they want complete control over how and where they are socialized and who they socialize with until they graduate high school school. And since most of them are well heeled enough to foot the private school bill, they don't actually *need* an Ivy League school stamp to "make it in life" like you and your kid(s) probably do. Just ask any private school family you know - they will be very honest with you about this.

Maybe you will find a few people like this at Sidwell, but this describes precisely nobody I know sending kids to private in real life.

I guess there are some sending their kids to extremely inexpensive privates for social opportunities, where they could get to know the children of the World Bank executive's plumber, instead of the drug dealer around the corner. But I'm not sure that's entirely the group you mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't think public school parents understand just how much better private is for kids. It's so much more than college matriculation. You think the public and private school kids really have the same level of education going into college? Having a public and private student score the same on the SAT does not mean they had remotely the same educational experience. LOL that OP thinks that.

The resources, the opportunities, the attention to detail, the level of teaching, the other students, the buildings, the land, the field trips, the plays, the public speaking....

I will add that not all privates are created equal, however +1000 to all the above. You really can't make a public parent understand the subtle and meaningful differences between learning environments.

Agree. My son went to a private because to succeed he needed to be seen. My daughter did not and wanted to go to public which she did. They are both happy and at colleges that are right for them. You are making a full human being not a widget. Different people need different things to thrive.

NP with kids who have done both public and private. I love the "needing to be seen" comment. That was true for my son as well. My other kids were fine in public schools, but each of them has a personality that was better suited for the size and environment of public school.

My kids who attend private don't go to a prestigious school. There are more opportunities in our local public for the highest achievers. However, for my kid who was standing off to the side disconnected and discouraged, having smaller classes and easier access to teachers was a game-changer. Beyond academics, he has learned how to figure things out on his own and to seek help when he needs it. His teachers actually know him, even though he's not the best student in the class. In public school, there was too much variation between teachers, too many students, and extremely limited time to connect with teachers standing in the way of him feeling capable. Public school administration forces teachers to do too much that prevents them from being present for their students. I don't understand why that doesn't get more attention, but it is a huge problem.

This. So much this! My son was able to find his passion because of the care, attention and direction of the teachers and staff at his private. He would have never, ever ended up where he did without them. It literally changed his life for the better. He would be fine if he had gone to public but we didn’t want him to just be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a public school in the 90s, it was one of the top public high schools in California. When I went to university, I noticed very little difference between those who went to public vs private schools. The SAT scores in DC private schools are basically comparable to the top publics. I don't get it, i mean if you got millions to burn, so be it. I rather give my kids a house.

it's so different! in private when you say jump they say how high but for public they rarely answer emails even

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a public school in the 90s, it was one of the top public high schools in California. When I went to university, I noticed very little difference between those who went to public vs private schools. The SAT scores in DC private schools are basically comparable to the top publics. I don't get it, i mean if you got millions to burn, so be it. I rather give my kids a house.

it's so different! in private when you say jump they say how high but for public they rarely answer emails even

I don’t know that ours said “how high” but the certainly were way way more responsive. We had a math teacher that met with my daughter several times a week for months after school. Unheard of in the public sphere. Also the private schools truly know all the children and actively work to make sure they all have activities and a place. So for the OP it would be like saying “I don’t get why someone would stay at the Four Seasons since the Motel 6 also has beds and tvs”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because Ballou can only send so many kids to Yale.

Not hard to check that box on the app and get in.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds jealous/bitter. I get the impression he hates the perception that private is considered better, is also expensive and therefore unattainable for him and his family. It's okay. I've had kids in both private and public. I used to always wonder why someone would pay for private when they were zoned for a 'W' high school. And then the pandemic happened and we bailed and saw what life is like on the other side. Now we understand. We are poorer for it but we understand.

Also, at no time have I heard parents pushing their kids toward the Ivy Leagues. As was previously stated, most of these kids already have decent money, will get a nominal inheritance at least and have a soft place to land regardless of where they go to school. There isn't that "by any means necessary" fire in the belly to succeed so they can save their family from poverty, etc. That's not a good or a bad thing. It just is. And yes, plenty of private and public school students will be side by side in college, each arriving at the school with their own set of connections and opportunities - those don't change just because they will all go to school together but you'd be naive to think that it won't make the difference when it comes to internships, jobs and even friends, dating and marriage. As hard as a kid might work, sometimes you can't "smart" your way into some social circles and opportunities.

[Anonymous]

Yes OP sounds jealous. I’ve never wondered why my friends who went private did so. I suspect it’s because they wanted to for whatever reason. I imagine small class sizes alone would be a big draw - allows you to take longer and delve deeper in some instances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a public school in the 90s, it was one of the top public high schools in California. When I went to university, I noticed very little difference between those who went to public vs private schools. The SAT scores in DC private schools are basically comparable to the top publics. I don't get it, i mean if you got millions to burn, so be it. I rather give my kids a house.

Read the various complaints in the DC, MD and VA public school forums.

[Anonymous]

If we had stayed in northern va we probably would have tried to figure out how to make private work financially. The public school system in Fairfax county where we were, I heard too many issues with overcrowding of schools and the handling of covid and remote learning. Thankfully, we moved to different state with award winning public schools (national blue ribbon, 10/10 great schools, all that) and don’t feel it’s necessary to pay for private, although our oldest is on Kindergarten now. I could see where people may have kids who need more special attention needing smaller class sizes would prefer private though. Also, some families may choose parochial school for the religious education.