Do your inlaws see you as family, the same as they treat your spouse/your kids?

[Anonymous]

My inlaws give my Dh $500 for his birthday. They give each of our children $100 (or buy them gifts about that much). I get a card. Is this typical? Dh and I have been married 14 years.

[Anonymous]

Apart from the possible differences in gifts, do they treat you well, are they kind, good people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My inlaws give my Dh $500 for his birthday. They give each of our children $100 (or buy them gifts about that much). I get a card. Is this typical? Dh and I have been married 14 years.

sounds about right. as much as I'd like to think the in-laws think of me as family, truth is, when push comes to shove they're DH's family not mine. sad to think of it that way, but realistic. for ex., if we divorced, it's not like they wouldn't take his side, etc.

[Anonymous]

you're married so I'd guess you can use part of the $500, right?

[Anonymous]

I love your ILs OP. But if you were to ask me about mine, all I can say is: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......
That's a good one.

[Anonymous]

I get the same type of behavior from myIL's. They are kind when they are with me, but some of their behavior makes me wonder. They actually took a picture of all the siblings (we are the only ones married) and excluded me. This kind of behavior is very hurtful.

[Anonymous]

My in laws send me $300 for my birthday each year, which is super sweet of them, but they definitely don't treat me like family. They are polite and very generous, but not warm and friendly.

[Anonymous]

Could be worse if your parents treated their son/daughter-in-laws like family but not you by giving SIL/DIL $500 for their BD but just a card for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My inlaws give my Dh $500 for his birthday. They give each of our children $100 (or buy them gifts about that much). I get a card. Is this typical? Dh and I have been married 14 years.

He he. Mine don't even acknowledge my birthday. I started to return the favor and ignore theirs.

[Anonymous]

Mine ignored our anniversary this year which was a first. Gifts have usually ranged from $250-$500 each year.

And no, DH gets much better gifts than I do. He gets cold, hard cash and I get a coffee cup.

[Anonymous]

My in laws (sadly both gone now) treated me wonderfully in terms of gifts and otherwise. My mom on the other hand treats her sons in law and her grandchildren much better than she treats her daughters!! She barely notices us and is totally focused on the DHs and grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Wow I get an olive garden gift card-but they are very sweet people. Guess you should be grateful

[Anonymous]

My mom treats my husband better than she treats me! His favorite meals are always prepared when we come to visit.

My in laws treat me and DH about the same, although obviously he's their son so there's a difference. He gets more expensive gifts because he asks for more expensive things- I usually ask for something small. If she gave cash gifts, I think it would either be an equal amount or one large amount for the both of us.

[Anonymous]

Ditto me, OP. They told me "we got our DD and you some new necklaces that we had specially made for you. They are marching!" well, SILs necklace was beautiful - precious jewels on a gold chain. Mine was pale blue not-precious beads.

I totally wouldn't have cared that we got different things, aside from the fact that they specifically said - these ate marching!

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that people give their grown and presumably independent "kids" money for their birthdays? I am not from here, so this could be cultural on my part, but I find it verty strange. Dinner out, or a card and a nice bottle of wine, tickets to an event I can see, but just cash? Unless he struggles financially, of course... But even then perhaps not as a b-day present...