If your husband is wicked smart but you are not, how did your kids turn out?

[Anonymous]

Look, I'm no dummy, but I'm also smart enough to know that I'm not super smart. My husband is. How does this usually work? Would the kids come out a hybrid of the two of us? Is intelligence usually passed through one parent over the other? Will one kid take after one parent, and the other kid after the other parent?

[Anonymous]

Well, how are you parents and how are his?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, how are you parents and how are his?

+1 and siblings?

[Anonymous]

I think this is common - the DH is the main breadwinner and if successful, in a great gig like software or scientist or some other brainwork career working 80 hrs/wk- and the DW is the main caregiver. I am not the OP but I did bring this up with another mommy the other day who is in the same boat- The fact is WE spend most time with the children and so... ? I don't know. I know my DH is a total geek brainiac up till all hours composing or working on some impossible problem - and DC look, act, and think like me. I mean, they're clever, bright and attractive, good students and kind to others, but, while in elementary school anyway, showing no outward signs of genius.

[Anonymous]

see; genetics. Kids are a TOTAL crapshoot on brains. Unless you are descended form a long line of astrophysicists, there is probably a mixture of brilliant and duffer thrown around the family tree. I think I'm just above average--but had more opportunity than many so I got into the best Ivy League, etc. But My DH is way smarter and went to a no name fro undergrad and then top med school. His side is smart, but also crazy--lost of mental breakdowns. My side is more plodding through the middle with flashes of brilliance and great looks. So my kids are a complete mixed bag --one is very average and shockingly lazy. 3 are brilliant in a sort scary way that makes it tough to parent them as they can clearly detect that they are smarter now that they are in MS and doing math that I never learned properly!

[Anonymous]

One child is smart, above average. The other child frightens us...very smart. Both kids have had assessments done for schools but are preschool aged. FWIW, I question the validity of IQ tests and educational testing so please don't try to pick a fight with me.

[Anonymous]

Both of my parents are idiots, as are my siblings and I consider myself pretty bright. Not genius intelligence but along the lines of school work came easy to me. DH is wicked smaht, insane IQ, aptitude for several things and a photographic memory to boot. DS1/2 are so young I don't think it's possible to gauge such things yet. DS1 is very quick when it comes to comprehending games and loves to engineer solutions for problems, such as the bunnies eating the garden or the ball going down the storm drain. Given that Dad is an engineer and is a solutions guy himself, the fact that DS1 thinks this way is awesome. DS2 watches every move we all make and doesn't miss a step. His dexterity and fine motor skills are above average for his age but at 16 mos, we will just wait and see how it goes.

I don't think it's so much about the parents intelligence levels as it is the opportunities presented to the children.

[Anonymous]

Brian structures and development are heritable, but it varies by hemisphere and it's overall slightly more heritable from mom. In general, though, intelligence is a highly desirable trait, and, from anecdotal evidence only, I know many very bright children who seem to have inherited their intelligence mostly from one parent.

[Anonymous]

DH is super smart; I'm normal smart (but my Dad is super smart). Despite smarts, my DH has not been the classic provider. I have been better job-wise. I really think his awareness of his own giftedness has held him back.

I have three kids - 2 are super smart and 1 is average (but has a lot of other gifts, like kindness and charm). 2 have ADHD. The super smart one with ADHD is above grade level in everything and makes incredbility insightful comments mixed in with totally normal kid comments a lot.

[Anonymous]

Both of us are above-average intelligence and were top of our class in high school, college, law school. One of our kids appears to be a genius, and the other is better behaved, but of average to above-average intelligence.

[Anonymous]

Our kid goes to a top Ivy and DH and I are smart, but not super-smart and went to average state schools. I think it might be more about opportunity. If I had grown up in a more well-off family -- I think I would have gone to a better college and law school.

I have a friend who went to Harvard Law School and all 3 of his kids are average intelligence because the mom is just average intelligence. Genes can work out in all sorts of weird ways.

[Anonymous]

My husband is super-smart...me not so much. I'm street smart though, does that count? Hubby's family is very smart too...my family while not idiots, arent very smart. DD has my looks, I'm praying she has my husband's brains.

[Anonymous]

I'm very smart but not scary smart; my ex is average smart. DS seems to have my brain but seems smarter than I am in certain areas (math, spacial ability).

[Anonymous]

I'm wicked smart. I also have an eating disorder that has held me back from so much joy.

1000 times would prefer DD gets DHs average intelligence and emotional stability. I'm convinced after years of therapy that innate IQ really tells you nothing - being able to manage your emotions and executive function is paramount.

[Anonymous]

My Dad was extremely smart but hardworking as well. He was #24 in the country (a European Nation) in his high school finals. My mom was average I would say. I am one of five. My eldest sister was very smart, but unfortunately has been held back by severe OCD. My next sister may well be the least academic, average I would say, but she made up for it in hard work and I would say she is the second most successful in the family. I did fairly well but lack ambition, so I do okay, but my priorities were always athletics! My next brother got the IT smarts, he is not even 30, owns two companies and makes bank! My last sister is 25, smart but travels and bums around the world so far -- we have yet to see what she will do! I think birth order, opportunities and various other factors come into play.