If your husband is wicked smart but you are not, how did your kids turn out?

[Anonymous]

My paternal side of the family is full of brilliance and they are also full of MAJOR mental health issues, I'm talking hospitalizations here and pure mental anguish. It is amazing that with such raw brilliance comes this horrible pox of mental health problems.

So, all in all, I really hope that my kids are a tick above average, IMO, being slightly above average is the ideal.

I'll echo other posters, I think it is a crap-shoot (except on my paternal side there is clearly a genetic component).

[Anonymous]

I think it goes way beyond parents. For instance, my in laws have 8 grandkids between them. My FIL is crazy smart in a traditional way- former engineer, can solve any problem, just all around extremely intelligent. My MIL grew up on a farm and didn't get great schooling and had kids starting at 19. She is smart in different ways- she's tough and resourceful and nobody gets the better of her. I'd say she's "clever" vs. book smart if that makes sense. Anyway, of the 8 grandkids, only one is what I would call highly intelligent. There's one or two that are just... not that smart. They're kind, they're good kids, but they're never going to be more than average in terms of smarts. And they will have to really WORK for grades as they get older, you can tell. The rest are somewhere in between. Our child is the youngest (2) and I can't tell yet how she'll fall in the spectrum. I think DH and I are both above average in terms of intelligence, but not geniuses. And my dad is very, very smart, but my mom is pretty average. It's like any other thing they inherit- total crapshoot.

[Anonymous]

The Nine Types of Intelligence
By Howard Gardner
 
1. Naturalist Intelligence (“Nature Smart”)
 
Designates the human ability to discriminate among living things (plants, animals) as well as sensitivity to other features of the natural world (clouds, rock configurations).  This ability was clearly of value in our evolutionary past as hunters, gatherers, and farmers; it continues to be central in such roles as botanist or chef.  It is also speculated that much of our consumer society exploits the naturalist intelligences, which can be mobilized in the discrimination among cars, sneakers, kinds of makeup, and the like. 
 
2. Musical Intelligence (“Musical Smart”)
 
Musical intelligence is the capacity to discern pitch, rhythm, timbre, and tone.  This intelligence enables us to recognize, create, reproduce, and reflect on music, as demonstrated by composers, conductors, musicians, vocalist, and sensitive listeners.  Interestingly, there is often an affective connection between music and the emotions; and mathematical and musical intelligences may share common thinking processes.  Young adults with this kind of intelligence are usually singing or drumming to themselves.  They are usually quite aware of sounds others may miss.
 
 
3. Logical-Mathematical Intelligence (Number/Reasoning Smart)
 
Logical-mathematical intelligence is the ability to calculate, quantify, consider propositions and hypotheses, and carry out complete mathematical operations.  It enables us to perceive relationships and connections and to use abstract, symbolic thought; sequential reasoning skills; and inductive and deductive thinking patterns.  Logical intelligence is usually well developed in mathematicians, scientists, and detectives.  Young adults with lots of logical intelligence are interested in patterns, categories, and relationships.  They are drawn to arithmetic problems, strategy games and experiments.
 
4. Existential Intelligence
 
Sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence, such as the meaning of life, why do we die, and how did we get here.
 
5. Interpersonal Intelligence (People Smart”)
 
Interpersonal intelligence is the ability to understand and interact effectively with others.  It involves effective verbal and nonverbal communication, the ability to note distinctions among others, sensitivity to the moods and temperaments of others, and the ability to entertain multiple perspectives.  Teachers, social workers, actors, and politicians all exhibit interpersonal intelligence.  Young adults with this kind of intelligence are leaders among their peers, are good at communicating, and seem to understand others’ feelings and motives.
 
6. Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence (“Body Smart”)
 
Bodily kinesthetic intelligence is the capacity to manipulate objects and use a variety of physical skills.  This intelligence also involves a sense of timing and the perfection of skills through mind–body union.  Athletes, dancers, surgeons, and craftspeople exhibit well-developed bodily kinesthetic intelligence.
 
7. Linguistic Intelligence (Word Smart)
 
Linguistic intelligence is the ability to think in words and to use language to express and appreciate complex meanings.  Linguistic intelligence allows us to understand the order and meaning of words and to apply meta-linguistic skills to reflect on our use of language.  Linguistic intelligence is the most widely shared human competence and is evident in poets, novelists, journalists, and effective public speakers.  Young adults with this kind of intelligence enjoy writing, reading, telling stories or doing crossword puzzles.
 
8. Intra-personal Intelligence (Self Smart”)
 
Intra-personal intelligence is the capacity to understand oneself and one’s thoughts and feelings, and to use such knowledge in planning and directioning one’s life.  Intra-personal intelligence involves not only an appreciation of the self, but also of the human condition.  It is evident in psychologist, spiritual leaders, and philosophers.  These young adults may be shy.  They are very aware of their own feelings and are self-motivated.
 
9. Spatial Intelligence (“Picture Smart”)
 
Spatial intelligence is the ability to think in three dimensions.  Core capacities include mental imagery, spatial reasoning, image manipulation, graphic and artistic skills, and an active imagination.  Sailors, pilots, sculptors, painters, and architects all exhibit spatial intelligence.  Young adults with this kind of intelligence may be fascinated with mazes or jigsaw puzzles, or spend free time drawing or daydreaming.
 
 
From: Overview of the Multiple Intelligences Theory.  Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development and Thomas Armstrong.com
 

[Anonymous]

Both of us are very smart in different ways. I'm a lefty and believe that contributes different IQ factors due to using both hemispheres differently. One DC (also a lefty) has my brain, while the other DC has the best from both of us and is off the charts smart but not a great tester and probably a bit ADHD because so much is going on up there in that brain - that DC also has a physically big head. I agree with PPs that being mentally healthy beats super high IQ any day.

[Anonymous]

DH is wicked smart in some ways and in some ways not (smart- history, literature. not smart- math, science). I am wicked smart in some ways and in some ways not (smart- math, science. not smart- humanities). DC1 is really really good at math. Pretty good at history. But not so great at reading and art stuff. DC2 is really really good reader and is a great artist. He struggles with math though. And he is pretty average/ above average at history, geography.
I think it's all a mix. It is pretty rare for someone to be a genius at art, math, science, history, literature, etc. Each child may be smart at certain areas and challenged at others. And that;s a good thing I think.

[Anonymous]

I'm probably of average to above average intelligence. My husband is very smart. 4.0 in undergraduate chemical engineering, #1 in his class at a top 3 medical school. Now a very successful sub specialist physician.
Our kids (6, 6, 3) appear to be totally average. Or at least the NW DC form of average---bright, curious, well-spoken, personable and certainly advantaged. But they're not prodigies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, I'm no dummy, but I'm also smart enough to know that I'm not super smart. My husband is. How does this usually work? Would the kids come out a hybrid of the two of us? Is intelligence usually passed through one parent over the other? Will one kid take after one parent, and the other kid after the other parent?

OP,

Where are you from?

I can only remember hearing the word wicked from my high school students during the 90s.

wicked! LOL! love it!!!

My husband is sort of wicked smart, btw.

[Anonymous]

Intelligence has actually been linked to being passed through the mother's side.

My husband's best friend grew up in a wealthy area with many brilliant men married to dumb trophy wives. His mother took him aside when he was a preteen/teen and told him to be sure to marry a smart woman. She said 'take a good look around at your friends...do they seem particularly smart? (His friends were all very dumb jocks) 'now look at their mothers'. His own mom worked in NYC as an executive. His friends mothers were the "Mrs." degree or some fluffy liberal arts that they never planned on using. He did take her advice eventually. After watching him date a bevy of bimbos--he finally settled down with a smart cookie in his late 30s.

[Anonymous]

16:26 has a point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:16:26 has a point.

I'm not going to tell my children they must marry smart but I am going to tell them that you should consider someone's genetic pool before having children with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:16:26 has a point.

My dad has always said this as well. He always pointed to my grandmother (his mom, who was a super-smart lady and even went to college, back in the 40s, and majored in math, and then was a hs math teacher for a few years before she got married and had to quit per the time and b/c she went on to have many children). Anyway, he pointed to his mom and said, "She's the reason why all of us have done so well. By having a college-educated mom, she pushed us, and taught us things, and guided us in what we should be doing, not doing, etc." So, this is a more "sociological" angle than the genetic angle I know we all have been discussing, but it is good reason to have a smart wife . Hope all this makes sense.

[Anonymous]

So this a corollary to George Elliot's idea that ugly rich men whose privilege purchases pretty wives still risk having plain daughters who may take after their own sorry asses. (She didn't say it like that, naturally.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Intelligence has actually been linked to being passed through the mother's side.

My husband's best friend grew up in a wealthy area with many brilliant men married to dumb trophy wives. His mother took him aside when he was a preteen/teen and told him to be sure to marry a smart woman. She said 'take a good look around at your friends...do they seem particularly smart? (His friends were all very dumb jocks) 'now look at their mothers'. His own mom worked in NYC as an executive. His friends mothers were the "Mrs." degree or some fluffy liberal arts that they never planned on using. He did take her advice eventually. After watching him date a bevy of bimbos--he finally settled down with a smart cookie in his late 30s.

Funny generational thing, since here's my version of the same story: The joke among me and my friends was that our dads married smart the first time (to ensure smart babies) and then remarried for looks and ego-salving. Sometimes they had kids the second time around and we could all run circles around them.