Invited over to watch a movie downstairs in the basement. . .

[Anonymous]

We recently met some very nice folks who live in our neighborhood. They have a son a few years younger than ours, and they seem nice enough. They have invited us to watch a movie a few times down in their basement on a weekend evening. I just don't really feel like watching a movie in someone's basement. That feels a little high-school-ish to me and, well, not really fun? Plus, our DS would be getting tired and I don't know what I am supposed to do with a 5 yo while we are ostensibly watching an (adult) movie over at someone else's house. (?) I get that they'd like to stay in, prob b/c they want to put their (1yo) DSr down to bed. I totally get that. It makes sense from their point of view. But, just doesn't seem to really work out from our point of view? Is it us? Maybe we and they just aren't really clicking? I guess I'm not really understanding why someone would invite us to that, knwoing we have a young child, and what are we supposed to do with the child while watching an adult movie? I've invited them to other things (family type things -- things that are fine to bring along their son), but each time, they turn it around and are like, 'How about you guys come on over for a movie?" I am just kind of scratching my head of this one. . . I've never really been invited to watch so many movies at one person's house in a long time! Like, since high school or so! But maybe I am just out of it, and people do this type of thing all the time? It just seems to be kind of a strange event to keep repeatedly issuing invitations for, for people our age, for people whom we've only recently met. (?)

[Anonymous]

That is a pain OP. Can you say a relative is ill? Can they see your house from theirs--so they'll know if you're faking....this is why getting to tight with next door neighbors can be dicey.

[Anonymous]

Can you say you need to ask your parents first? That will be more difficult for them to monitor, plus, you can use it every time!

[Anonymous]

What they are doing isn't strange. It's just different from what you like. You guys don't have much in common. Just decline politely. No biggie.

[Anonymous]

When they ask you to come for a movie, maybe just say, "hey, we're not sure what we'd do with little Johnny during a movie, but we'd like to do something else with you guys."

As for the idea that watching a movie with friends is highschoolish, or whatever, I don't see it that way. Doing sweet home-based things like that is really nice for me now that I have kids.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are at a different life stage and have different interests. I don't think they are strange, they just need different friends.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they're expecting that you get a sitter so they don't have to, because likely their kid is asleep by 8pm? 'Are you thinking a rated R movie night where we get a sitter for Junior, or something more PG where he watches with us?' I guarantee they haven't thought that much about it - I mean, watching movies at home is a lot more interactive than going to the theater, so it can be more fun especially when you are getting to know someone and can talk, gossip about the actors, etc. So that's probably their line of thought, although since your kid is older, it's not as much of a 'break' to you as it is to them.

I'd suggest bringing your kid over to their house and getting one sitter for both kids (split the cost) while you all go out to a nice dinner. If you have a sitter whom you trust and use often, I'd suggest this option.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they like movies and are trying to save money. Don't go if you don't want to, but I don't think it's strange.

[Anonymous]

They're swingers. That's how it starts.

[Anonymous]

Do you think maybe it's you OP? Do you think it's normal that you can't figure out what to do with your kid so you can hang out with other adults at night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're swingers. That's how it starts.

Lol that hadn't occurred to me but makes sense! OP - why not just say "we don't have a babysitter that we call regularly - can we suggest ____" instead. I don't get why this needs to be a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Getting tight with the next door neighbors can be dicey because sometimes they are just plain freaks. NP here.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they have a theater room in their basement. Or do people not do that here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they have a theater room in their basement. Or do people not do that here?

Good point!

[Anonymous]

Could you suggest watching a family movie so that everyone can watch it together?