How can introverts be successful in the college admission process?

[Anonymous]

My DS is a top student at a competitive private high school. He has fabulous grades and will have great teacher recs. He loves to pursue interests at home on his own (mainly through reading and watching lectures on the internet). But he resists all of my entreaties to join clubs or sports teams, attend summer programs, or pursue his interests in any way that would involve him with other people. He says he has little in common with most kids his own age and prefers to be alone. He insists I should not assume that what makes other kids happy will make him happy, and he accuses me of just trying to get him to "pad his resume for college." It is true I am worried how he will fare as a college applicant without meaningful extracurricular activities. He is bright and serious about his studies, and I want him to have a chance to attend college with like-minded kids. Anybody with a similar child have advice? How did your introvert fare in the college admissions process?

[Anonymous]

I was pretty introverted and did OK in the college process.

Does he have hobbies that he can submit evidence of? A portfolio of poems? A research paper on a topic he's interested in? A computer program he wrote? A marathon he trained for?

Would he be interested in some kind of community service thing he does alone? Recordings for the blind and dyslexic?

[Anonymous]

Top colleges are looking for boys with great grades and scores, they are a minority compared to girls. If he is truly in the top 1% academically he likely will get into some very very good colleges. How about academic contests or teams (math team, Model UN, debate, Its Academic?). What does he do in the summer? How about a job?

Schools like University of Chicago and Swarthmore are really looking for intellectual kids, and may be very good choices (particularly if he applies early decision), it is true that schools such as the top Ivys are probably not likely without more extracurricular involvement, but it sounds like he might be much happier anyway at a place not full of overcommitted overachievers.

[Anonymous]

No direct experience with it except helping my college with interviewing kids, but I think he will get in somewhere based on his scores, grades and essays. Colleges look for all types of kids when composing a class, and a good smart boy with proven academic success is hardly going to be shut out. Maybe he won't get into Harvard (I don't know), but MIT has tons of socially inept boys in it, and there are good opportunities at state schools which look mainly at grades and scores for admittance.

[Anonymous]

Have him do essay contests, playwriting contests, programming contests, things he can do on his own but still get awards for. And it probably puts a premium on doing something useful in the summer. I would focus on internships or plain old jobs over international travel. Getting a job will not only help with college but be a useful life skill.

[Anonymous]

I think much of the advice given has been good and surprisingly no snarks yet.

Previous posters are correct that schools such as U of Chicago and Swarthmore do pick the kind of student you describe OP. It is unlikely, but not impossible, that an Ivy would pick him. Not only are they looking for top grades, top SATs, top SAT Subject Tests, Top AP scores, but they also want someone who is the best in whatever passion they have.

So a pp is correct when they advise to do essay contests, start a charity, start a volunteer corps, whatever. It has to be interesting and unique. What grade is your DS in OP?

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your suggestions so far. He is only a freshman, so there is still time for him to blossom. He has an eye on an internship for which he will be eligible next summer, but unfortunately he hasn't lined up much of anything for this summer. His advisor at school tells him he will have a great choice of schools because he is such a good student, and what you have said makes me feel better that he will have some options. Of course he is too young to know what his test scores will be. I wonder how one finds out about essay contests? That might interest him. Thanks again for the suggestions!

[Anonymous]

PP -- you can google for essay contests. My DD entered a bunch and won a bunch. It made her unique at her elite private. Everyone else thought school contests were fine...the Ivies want national contests. Good luck.
If you DS hasn't lined anything up for the summer -- he might try tutoring, recycling, riding for charity, reading to the blind...there are just zillions of things he could do. He could set up a local concierge business for neighbors to walk dogs, collect dry cleaning, etc.

[Anonymous]

I highly recommend a book by Susan Cain that was just published (if you have not read it already) called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is a top student at a competitive private high school. He has fabulous grades and will have great teacher recs. He loves to pursue interests at home on his own (mainly through reading and watching lectures on the internet). But he resists all of my entreaties to join clubs or sports teams, attend summer programs, or pursue his interests in any way that would involve him with other people. He says he has little in common with most kids his own age and prefers to be alone. He insists I should not assume that what makes other kids happy will make him happy, and he accuses me of just trying to get him to "pad his resume for college." It is true I am worried how he will fare as a college applicant without meaningful extracurricular activities. He is bright and serious about his studies, and I want him to have a chance to attend college with like-minded kids. Anybody with a similar child have advice? How did your introvert fare in the college admissions process?

I think you may be focusing too much on "how he will fare as a college applicant" and not enough on how he will fare as a college student. There are introverts and then there are introverts - it is a continuum, they say. Will your son be able to cope with the dormitory experience? Will he be able to participate in group discussions and group projects? Will he have the social skills to survive (or thrive) in an environment that is very different from home?

[Anonymous]

Charisma and popularity count for a lot in this world. Sadly, sometimes more than intelligence, work ethic and ability.

[Anonymous]

Charisma and popularity count for a lot in this world. Sadly, sometimes more than intelligence, work ethic and ability.

Wow! That was really helpful.

[Anonymous]

It would be useful for him to do something that would show that he can function as a member of a team, to make it clear that he is an introvert but not a recluse. Recommendations that talk about his contributions to class discussions would help with this too.

[Anonymous]

I think that it will show a lot of maturity if he can clearly express that he understands his preference for solo activities but is capable of working with others as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would be useful for him to do something that would show that he can function as a member of a team, to make it clear that he is an introvert but not a recluse. Recommendations that talk about his contributions to class discussions would help with this too.

Great suggestions. I'd like to add that my shyish DD was quite successful in the college admission process. Alumni interviews really helped her relax and feel empowered. After a couple of them, she was easily sharing her attributes and motivated in discovering the types of schools that might be a great fit for her. I have a fondness for the Dartmouth application as it included a peer evaluation form. Her best friend and teammate gave her a glowing and very detailed recommendation.

Good luck to you and DC in the process.