S/o if I'm not sexually attracted to my wife...

[Anonymous]

Can I sleep with the hot 25 year old that likes me because I'm a hot older guy with only a touch of gray? Only seems fair if the wife refuses to put out.

[Anonymous]

Well I'd have to know why your wife is refusing to put out. Have you been a good husband even when she has not been a good wife? That one is tricky as hell but part of marriage and why a lot of marriages fail. People are most unlovable when they need love the most unfortunately.

If so, then go for it. If not, I would suggest you both try counseling and making each other a priority for 6 months. If no changes by then, then go for it.

I'm curious: how much do you make and do you have kids?

[Anonymous]

Yea, my husband refuses to put out and I"m tempted also, but I don't want to devastate him, ruin our marriage, scar our kids, feel crappy about being an immoral, selfish, cheater. Sex is not worth hurting my beautiful family and caring, but low libido husband.
Go to counseling, get a divorce, but don't hurt your wife and family.

[Anonymous]

Your post is confusing. Is the problem you are not attracted to your wife or she won't have sex with you? Which is easier to fix?

[Anonymous]

If your own wife isn't sexually attracted to you I'm pretty sure that friendly 25yo would probably vomit in her mouth if she knew what you were thinking.

[Anonymous]

OP. I'm not sexually attracted to her and she doesn't like me enough to be attracted to me. I'm a great father and she acknowledges that. I'm not attracted to her because after sleeping with the same person for a million times it gets a bit boring. Hell even Marc Anthony got tired of JLO.

[Anonymous]

well, if you want to be the same tired cliche of mid-life crisis man who ruins his family for young ass, go ahead. but i would say you need counseling and personal therapy. i know i would do both for myself before just casually cheating on my husband, even if we weren't attracted to each other any more. actually, i would have dealt with it before it got that bad. having sex with the same person is only boring if you are boring. your wife probably got tired of you coming in under 30 seconds...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. I'm not sexually attracted to her and she doesn't like me enough to be attracted to me. I'm a great father and she acknowledges that. I'm not attracted to her because after sleeping with the same person for a million times it gets a bit boring. Hell even Marc Anthony got tired of JLO.

RE: the Marc Anthony comment --- you see where JLO is right, she's dating a sexy, handsome younger guy! Let your wife free if you are not sexually attracted to her, maybe she will do better in the long run and so will you!

Why stay together if there is no attraction & intimacy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yea, my husband refuses to put out and I"m tempted also, but I don't want to devastate him, ruin our marriage, scar our kids, feel crappy about being an immoral, selfish, cheater. Sex is not worth hurting my beautiful family and caring, but low libido husband.
Go to counseling, get a divorce, but don't hurt your wife and family.

What a bizarre statement! If he has an affair and no one finds out, why would he hurt his family more than if he got a divorce? Divorce is devastating! What if he loves his wife but he just wants to have sex? I think people who recommend divorce over affairs are truly insane. I am a woman, btw, and when I refused to put out, I told DH he could get his needs met elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Boy is that ever a lose-lose proposition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea, my husband refuses to put out and I"m tempted also, but I don't want to devastate him, ruin our marriage, scar our kids, feel crappy about being an immoral, selfish, cheater. Sex is not worth hurting my beautiful family and caring, but low libido husband.
Go to counseling, get a divorce, but don't hurt your wife and family.

What a bizarre statement! If he has an affair and no one finds out, why would he hurt his family more than if he got a divorce? Divorce is devastating! What if he loves his wife but he just wants to have sex? I think people who recommend divorce over affairs are truly insane. I am a woman, btw, and when I refused to put out, I told DH he could get his needs met elsewhere.

Well some people happen to think that affair is less hurtful and negative overall than divorce is bizarre too.

Then again, there's always the chance that you could put a little bit of effort into your marriage and just try to make better before resorting to either of these things..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea, my husband refuses to put out and I"m tempted also, but I don't want to devastate him, ruin our marriage, scar our kids, feel crappy about being an immoral, selfish, cheater. Sex is not worth hurting my beautiful family and caring, but low libido husband.
Go to counseling, get a divorce, but don't hurt your wife and family.

What a bizarre statement! If he has an affair and no one finds out, why would he hurt his family more than if he got a divorce? Divorce is devastating! What if he loves his wife but he just wants to have sex? I think people who recommend divorce over affairs are truly insane. I am a woman, btw, and when I refused to put out, I told DH he could get his needs met elsewhere.

Well some people happen to think that affair is less hurtful and negative overall than divorce is bizarre too.

Then again, there's always the chance that you could put a little bit of effort into your marriage and just try to make better before resorting to either of these things..

I'm not sure what you were trying to say there, pp, but the bottom line is that if you get married, and you are healthy, you either have to put out or let someone else do it. You can't deny your partner (male or female) a healthy sex life for the REST of his or her life. It isn't part of the deal. If you want to be married, you have to make a choice. Throwing away the whole marriage and the family just because you don't like sex anymore seems insane to me. Let the kids have a happy life with two parents and let the husband (or wife) get sex somewhere else. It's a win/win.

[Anonymous]

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. I'm not sexually attracted to her and she doesn't like me enough to be attracted to me. I'm a great father and she acknowledges that. I'm not attracted to her because after sleeping with the same person for a million times it gets a bit boring. Hell even Marc Anthony got tired of JLO.

Wow. No wonder your wife doesn't like you. You're either a troll or a psychiatric disorder.

[Anonymous]

Well, what did you think marriage meant? Did you think you weren't going to be having sex with the same person a million times? Yes, I'm sure the 25 yo wants to sleep with you...go for it