Reply to S/o if I'm not sexually attracted to my wife...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yea, my husband refuses to put out and I"m tempted also, but I don't want to devastate him, ruin our marriage, scar our kids, feel crappy about being an immoral, selfish, cheater. Sex is not worth hurting my beautiful family and caring, but low libido husband. 
Go to counseling,[b] get a divorce, but don't hurt your wife and family.[/b][/quote]

What a bizarre statement! If he has an affair and no one finds out, why would he hurt his family more than if he got a divorce? Divorce is devastating! What if he loves his wife but he just wants to have sex? I think people who recommend divorce over affairs are truly insane. I am a woman, btw, and when I refused to put out, I told DH he could get his needs met elsewhere.[/quote]

[b]Well some people happen to think that affair is less hurtful and negative overall than divorce is bizarre too.[/b]

Then again, there's always the chance that you could put a little bit of effort into your marriage and just try to make better before resorting to either of these things..[/quote]

I'm not sure what you were trying to say there, pp, but the bottom line is that if you get married, and you are healthy, you either have to put out or let someone else do it. You can't deny your partner (male or female) a healthy sex life for the REST of his or her life. It isn't part of the deal. If you want to be married, you have to make a choice. Throwing away the whole marriage and the family just because you don't like sex anymore seems insane to me. Let the kids have a happy life with two parents and let the husband (or wife) get sex somewhere else. It's a win/win.[/quote]

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