WWYD? Sister in Law to Be Bachorlette Party

[Anonymous]

I just found out the my SIL to be is having her bachlorette party at a strip club.

I will not attend - and the excuse that I usually use will not fly. any tips on how to gracefully say no?

[Anonymous]

Gross.

"I'm so sorry I can't make it. Let me take you out for drinks another time."


if pressed:

"I'm just really not that into strip clubs. But I do want to celebrate with you."

[Anonymous]

why do you need an excuse?

[Anonymous]

why do you need an excuse?

.... b/c 2 of my SIL's will be there and I will be the one with the stick up the $SS when I am a no-show.

[Anonymous]

Is out really that bad? I would take one for the team and go as to not incur the wrath of family conflict.

[Anonymous]

If it's not to your taste, fine. But many women do this. And many men. I don't see making a big issue of it. What's wrong with it? She's not sleeping with the dancers.

If you don't want to go, just don't go. But take off your judge's robes. You are going to have a long relationship with this woman. Would you like to be judged on your Bachelorette party? Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why you just can't go. Make up an excuse If you need. I doubt she'll remember you weren't there.

[Anonymous]

Either suck it up and go, or just say, "I'm not comfortable with strip clubs. Can I take you out for dinner/drinks/dancing/whatever on such-and -such a date to celebrate?"

I mean, if you're against going to a strip club, then own it. Why do you care what they think? If they can't respect your decision, it's on them.

[Anonymous]

Hey there sister, if it's a stick up your ass that makes it impossible for you to attend this vulgar event, then I must have the same condition.

It would make me uncomfortable in the extreme.

You could always feign going, then suddenly come down with....no, then one of your kids could come down with a terrible fever.

I would leave my personal discomfort with the strip club scene out of it. Make it about some unfortunate something else instead.

[Anonymous]

Great start to your relationship, being obviously judgmental. Either go and suck it up, or keep your mouth shut and come up with a last minute excuse. Either way, keep your dislike of it to yourself.

And I say that as someone who loathes strip clubs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just found out the my SIL to be is having her bachlorette party at a strip club.

I will not attend - and the excuse that I usually use will not fly. any tips on how to gracefully say no?

What's the excuse that you usually use?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's not to your taste, fine. But many women do this. And many men. I don't see making a big issue of it. What's wrong with it? She's not sleeping with the dancers.

If you don't want to go, just don't go. But take off your judge's robes. You are going to have a long relationship with this woman. Would you like to be judged on your Bachelorette party? Ridiculous.

I agree, and say this as someone who hates strip clubs. I don't particularly care if other people go, but for myself I find it awful. I went to a very good friend's bachelorette at a crossdresser strip club. The worst part was not the stripping, there actually wasn't much of that. It was the way they called up all the brides to be (there were a bunch) onto a stage and asked them questions -- all of which had to do with their "catch" and his job, their identity as Mrs. X-to-be, and their virginity and the fact that soon they'd have a -- gasp -- PENIS inserted into them on their wedding night. It was supposed to be funny and joking and I guess a lot of people thought it was, because everyone except me and one other girl were laughing. I thought it was one of the most stupid and demeaning events I'd ever been to. I swore I'd never go to another. But my friend enjoyed it, and that's what matters. I tried to look like I was enjoying myself , and I would never breathe a word to her that I thought her bachelorette party was revolting and beneath her.

In the future I would probably try to bow out of such events, but I'd just offer a run-of-the-mill excuse without saying why. No need to make your SIL feel you're judging her. If you need to, schedule some small event of your own so that you have a legitimate excuse for why you can't make it. Work events are always good candidates.

[Anonymous]

I think you can be honest without being judgmental. Just tell them that you are afraid that you'll feel incredibly uncomfortable, and that you don't want your discomfort to ruin the fun for the rest of the group. Then offer to take her out for lunch sometime to celebrate in a more "boring" way.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't go as well, and that doesn't mean I'm judgemental. Just tell her it's not your thing but you would like to take her out for a girl's day - maybe lunch and a movie, spa day, shopping, whatever.

[Anonymous]

Just say. "sorry, not my scene but have fun." and then like PP said, take her to lunch or something.