17 year old dd and breast augmentation

[Anonymous]

So the title alone makes me cringe but this is actually a topic of discussion in our household right now. My beautiful, smart, funny, daughter has asymmetrical breasts. Now I know almost everyone does to some extent but hers are at least a full cup difference. When she was 14 we started getting special fitting bras and I assumed they would even out but at this point I don't think they will and 3 different physicians agree. She really wants to get this corrected before college and I understand her pov but it makes me sad and wonder if I am sending the wrong message. Plus I don't think she is thinking long term, like breastfeeding ect. I know she wants to go to college and feel confident and although she hasnt directly admitted it to me I know she wants to feel comfortable naked with anyone if a relationship goes in that direction. Most of me thinks it's ok and she deserves to get it corrected but a small part of me wants her to accept her body as it is. I don't want this correction to lead to many unnecessary ones. Any perspectives? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I have asymmetric breasts and my mom took me to the doctor to have a talk about it.

Doc explained me how the development works, risks of the surgery, options to "fix" it and long term consequences.

I chose to wear pads to even out when necessary. I was a swimmer and the worst part was when I had to wear a bathing suit but it never stopped me from doing what I loved the most.

Today I'm glad I made the decision to wait. As I wean my last child I can't wait to get the surgery finally done. It was totally worth the wait.

Bottom line, always be honest with her, talk to the doctor before taking her there and make sure you and doc are on the same page and just stand by her side so she can make the decision that is best for her.

[Anonymous]

Sort of random story, but it might help - one of my closest friends who I met in my late 20s had breast augmentation at the age of 19. She was entirely flat chested before then - I've seen pictures of her in bathing suits and she was totally flat as a board - so, she talked to her parents and they agreed to pay for the surgery. Her surgeon suggested C cups because she's curvy/hippy. She was happy; went for the surgery, recovered at home with her parents, etc...

But, she's one of the most insecure-with-men people I've ever met - and I honestly think it's because some part of her heard her parents say "Yes, your body is not good enough the way it is."

[Anonymous]

I would say let her do it. My best friend on high school played softball and got a line drive to the nose. Her nose was pretty badly disfigured (flat with a big bump and crooked ) and it was so sad to see her self esteem change after what happened. Her parents wouldn't let her correct it for the same reason you are struggling and she was miserable in college. Freshman year she was extremely introverted and had a real difficult time making friends. I know by second semester she wanted to transfer and stuck it out. She ended up saving her money and coming to visit me while I was doing clinicals junior year and got a nose job. That plus some therapy and she is a totally different person 6 years later. If you think that your daughter's breasts are really negatively impacting her self esteem I think allowing her to have the surgery is a better option than worrying if it is a slippery slope for other plastic surgeries

[Anonymous]

Maybe reduce the larger one? Why have a foreign body in your body when it's not medically necessary?

[Anonymous]

Facial disfigurement is totally different - that can be emotionally damaging.

I wonder if when my DD went off to college I wouldn't be estatic she was insecure about showing her naked body to boys. Maybe your DD's insecurity is a positive - maybe she will hold off on sex until she's in a serious relationship. I admit I was a slut in college (and very attractive). Plus, boob jobs need to be redone after so many years (if you don't do the newer gummibear kind, it's every 10 years). That's a lifetime of revisions. This is a toughy OP! I think I would have to see it to know - it's hard for me to envision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe reduce the larger one? Why have a foreign body in your body when it's not medically necessary?

Very good point! (especially if you're talking going from like a C to a B)

[Anonymous]

I think she has a valid point. many people have corrective surgery for body parts that are functional but disfigured in some way. I know that different sized breasts are normal and not a disfigurement but in the same way, most people want to fit in, not stand out with body parts that are going to attract attention for their differences. I assume she would just be having one breast augmented to a normal size?

I would definitely set up an appointment with a surgeon for her to get all the information and for all of you to know exactly what your options are, what the risks are, what the range of results might be. Then re assess.

[Anonymous]

Take a look through http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php and she may get a better sense of what normal breasts look like. She can also see pictures of breast surgeries that didn't heal as well as hoped for. Not to say she shouldn't have surgery, but just to see the range of breasts and to read other women's stories.

The website has a breastfeeding focus but if you scroll down a little you will see multiple galleries of photos of breasts.

[Anonymous]

I don't know OP...this is tough. I have at least a cup difference as well and it never caused any problems in my dating, relationships, etc. I don't love it but I don't really think about it so I don't hate it. When I was younger it was a bigger deal to me, but as you mature you find out it doesn't matter. If she was 2 or 3 cup sizes different then I could see the need for correction. Maybe it's something you could revisit when she turns 21.

[Anonymous]

Can she wait until she's 25? That's when most people reach the peak of physical growth. And she will be old enough to really decide if this is for her.

[Anonymous]

Just want to add to this discussion that I got implants before kids, and I breastfed two children years later with no problems. EBF for 13 months.

[Anonymous]

I would do it for her in a heart beat.

I had ENORMOUS breasts, just giant grandma boobs, that became a prison sentence in high school. Weighted basketballs that created red welted grooves along the shoulder bra line. Hell. The summer between graduation and college, I had them reduced. The surgeon didn't do a perfect job. But my life would have been very different had I been forced to lug around someone else's body.

Signed,

Mother of two breast-fed kids

[Anonymous]

She is 17 and still growing, so no, I would not let her do it. Children will always be insecure about something. If not her breast, then it's her ass, lips, or hips. It's part of life, and no, we shouldn't all go fix what we are insecure about. And to the poster comparing boobs to a broken nose...what a stupid comparison.

[Anonymous]

A friend of mine in high school had a similar issue and got implants around the same age. She was positively thrilled and still is, 15 years later. However, because of her age, her doctor strongly suggested a few sessions of therapy to discuss any underlying psychological issues re: body image before he would proceed, and her parents agreed. She was surprised at the depth of her feelings on the issue and actually delayed her surgery for a few months to work out some things. Just something to consider.

Not the same issue, but my younger SIL had her ears pinned at the same age because she was so mortified about how much her ears stuck out ... and she truly had Dumbo-esque ears. She has never regretted it.