Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority

[Anonymous]

Too many people today are very afraid of gender roles and will purposefully act against them. There's no shame in acting within gender roles

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The way I see it, there are two types of SAHMs. Those that have to because their salary will not cover childcare and those who are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows them to stay home.

To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.

FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.

FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.

So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.

As soon as WOHMs rock their decision and acknowledge that they really are NOT with their kids most of the day. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that - doesn't mean you're not bonded or have a great relationship. But don't act like being away all day long is EXACTLY the same as being home all day.

do you homeschool? how are your kids home all day?

They are young. One is home all day. One is in preschool 3 morning a week. And one is in K.

You probably don't remember this because you were at work (sorry - couldn't resist), but your children were very little at one point and weren't in school for 6 hrs/day.

Sorry wrong - my child was in an orphanage at that point. Your kids will be in school before you know it.

Couldn't resist that one, could you? Martyr, much?

When someone accuses me of not remembering my child's babyhood - yes I need to point out that in fact she wasn't with me at the time. I am not sure how adopting makes me a martyr. That must be your warped perspective.

Now you are being accused of missing your childs toddlerhood.

Where are you PP there are questions

Not PP - but what questions?

"where were you for your child's toddlerhood" working overtime on some all important project I geuss

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:The way I see it, there are two types of SAHMs. Those that have to because their salary will not cover childcare and those who are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows them to stay home.

To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.

FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.

FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.

So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.

As soon as WOHMs rock their decision and acknowledge that they really are NOT with their kids most of the day. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that - doesn't mean you're not bonded or have a great relationship. But don't act like being away all day long is EXACTLY the same as being home all day.

do you homeschool? how are your kids home all day?

They are young. One is home all day. One is in preschool 3 morning a week. And one is in K.

You probably don't remember this because you were at work (sorry - couldn't resist), but your children were very little at one point and weren't in school for 6 hrs/day.

Sorry wrong - my child was in an orphanage at that point. Your kids will be in school before you know it.

Couldn't resist that one, could you? Martyr, much?

When someone accuses me of not remembering my child's babyhood - yes I need to point out that in fact she wasn't with me at the time. I am not sure how adopting makes me a martyr. That must be your warped perspective.

Now you are being accused of missing your childs toddlerhood.

Where are you PP there are questions

Not PP - but what questions?

"where were you for your child's toddlerhood" working overtime on some all important project I geuss

man can't you people let this go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do all the militant stay at home moms/dads live in this area? I hardly know any families that don't have two working parents. Do you have the same level of hatred and vitriol toward your two working parent neighbors or your kids classmates? And in your ideal world, would all families have one stay at home parent, and would that be permanently or just until elementary school? What about if the working partner works long hours, is that ok or is having kids only for those who can support a family on one income where the income earner works 9-5 with a 20 minute max commute?

Clearly, you haven't read this entire thread. The "mommy wars" started here because of some militant WOHMs hurling insults at SAHMs. Maybe you should back it up and take a look at the "hatred and vitriol" directed toward SAHMs before they started defending themselves.

Either way, you're late to the party. We pretty much established that it's no one's concern what one does with their time, whether they SAH or WOH. The mommy wars are over, except for those who are deeply insecure about their own life choices.

You preaching that bullying towards SAHM and they Spewed no hatred and vitriol nonsense again?

Trying to stir things up again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do all the militant stay at home moms/dads live in this area? I hardly know any families that don't have two working parents. Do you have the same level of hatred and vitriol toward your two working parent neighbors or your kids classmates? And in your ideal world, would all families have one stay at home parent, and would that be permanently or just until elementary school? What about if the working partner works long hours, is that ok or is having kids only for those who can support a family on one income where the income earner works 9-5 with a 20 minute max commute?

Clearly, you haven't read this entire thread. The "mommy wars" started here because of some militant WOHMs hurling insults at SAHMs. Maybe you should back it up and take a look at the "hatred and vitriol" directed toward SAHMs before they started defending themselves.

Either way, you're late to the party. We pretty much established that it's no one's concern what one does with their time, whether they SAH or WOH. The mommy wars are over, except for those who are deeply insecure about their own life choices.

Answer the questions.

If you're talking to me, the PP, no I won't answer any of those questions because I have no opinion on how you or anyone else chooses to raise their kids. I'm a SAHM with plenty of friends who are both SAHMs and WOHMs and we don't tear each other down because of our choices. Sorry to disappoint, but if you're trying to start a fight, you're only making yourself look bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way I see it, there are two types of SAHMs. Those that have to because their salary will not cover childcare and those who are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows them to stay home.

To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.

FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.

FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.

So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.

As soon as WOHMs rock their decision and acknowledge that they really are NOT with their kids most of the day. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that - doesn't mean you're not bonded or have a great relationship. But don't act like being away all day long is EXACTLY the same as being home all day.

do you homeschool? how are your kids home all day?

They are young. One is home all day. One is in preschool 3 morning a week. And one is in K.

You probably don't remember this because you were at work (sorry - couldn't resist), but your children were very little at one point and weren't in school for 6 hrs/day.

Sorry wrong - my child was in an orphanage at that point. Your kids will be in school before you know it.

Couldn't resist that one, could you? Martyr, much?

When someone accuses me of not remembering my child's babyhood - yes I need to point out that in fact she wasn't with me at the time. I am not sure how adopting makes me a martyr. That must be your warped perspective.

Now you are being accused of missing your childs toddlerhood.

Where are you PP there are questions

Not PP - but what questions?

"where were you for your child's toddlerhood" working overtime on some all important project I geuss

man can't you people let this go?

It's almost as if people are concerned about the well-being of children

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have no idea why you are trivializing children's welfare. Go away

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too many people today are very afraid of gender roles and will purposefully act against them. There's no shame in acting within gender roles

Agreed. Assuming that is how someone is comfortable acting there certainly is no shame in it. Just like there is no shame in acting outside of a given culture's traditional gender roles either if that is the person's preference. Either is and should be perfectly acceptable and certainly not a source of shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My decision to stay at home made my family's life more, not less, complicated. We had financial issues that wouldn't have happened had I kept working, including health insurance issues (DH's plan is horrid and I was a fed).

I fell into a depression due to the isolation and difficulty handling two kids under three (ended up putting the oldest in a near full time preschool because I was so overwhelmed). I cry on a regular basis. My marriage has taken a toll. I went from a put together, happy, interesting woman to a stressed shell of a human. And I directly point to a decision made in a hazy period right after I had my second to stay home. It was such a mistake and I regret it on a daily basis. My therapist basically told me the same point...all of my problems are because I'm a home full time.

I am trying to go back to work now. No luck so far. This just adds salt to the bad decision wound.

What field are you in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have no idea why you are trivializing children's welfare. Go away

You're being ridiculous, that's why. I get that this thread has de-volved into trolling but come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We should not allow AA's to play the race card anymore

Ok--you go ahead and stop them.

Curious, why do have this opinion? Is it because racism is over?

victim role

Let's just end that.

There are plenty of opportunities to level the playing field. Take advantage of them. Go to school. Work hard. Study. Educate yourself.

I think most white people are racists.

Even if they married and had kids with a non-white? Even if their most important friends are not white? Even if their children are not white? I actually think the opposite, and I'm white. I married a non-white, my best friend is not white (most of my friends are not white) and I see that in most situations, I AM the minority. My non-white friends and family are the ones who seem to like being around people of their race more often. At thanksgiving and Christmas, I was the only white, but I didn't expect anyone to go out of their way for me (and they didn't). On the other hand, when my white family hosts a holiday or even a dinner and my friends are invited, my white family really seems to care about making sure that they feel cared about and providing foods and beverages that they would like. Whites aren't racist, it's time to be honest people.

[Anonymous]

Yawn...

[Anonymous]

Activists who specifically target a flower shop or a bakery, knowing the owner is deeply religious and will not want to participate in a gay wedding, then take that person's business from them to 'make a point' are disgusting, selfish, horribly intolerant people.

If they throw a gay couple out of their flower shop or refuse to serve them pastries, that's one thing, but there's no reason anyone should have to participate in your damn wedding. Go to a different shop.

I would not go into a Halal shop and ask them to cater my son's Bar Mitzvah, and serve only Kosher food, then when they refused, sue them out of business.

Nor would I go into a sex shop that sells sex books and demand a bible, then when they don't provide, sue them out of business.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand all black colleges.