Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that most infertile people are infertile for a reason, and they should not push the issue. It's just a natural selection, and some genes just don't mean to be reproduced. I have not yet met a good parent of artificially created child.

Define "good parent." There are plenty of drug abusers, sexual predators, violent criminals that are fertile. I guess you think they are "good parents" and their "genes are meant to reproduce." Congrats you are fertile but your "thinking" is wrong.

I guess that is why my thinking is a strong minority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that most infertile people are infertile for a reason, and they should not push the issue. It's just a natural selection, and some genes just don't mean to be reproduced. I have not yet met a good parent of artificially created child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that most infertile people are infertile for a reason, and they should not push the issue. It's just a natural selection, and some genes just don't mean to be reproduced. I have not yet met a good parent of artificially created child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We should not allow AA's to play the race card anymore

Ok--you go ahead and stop them.

Curious, why do have this opinion? Is it because racism is over?

victim role

Let's just end that.

There are plenty of opportunities to level the playing field. Take advantage of them. Go to school. Work hard. Study. Educate yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We should not allow AA's to play the race card anymore

Ok--you go ahead and stop them.

Curious, why do have this opinion? Is it because racism is over?

victim role

Let's just end that.

There are plenty of opportunities to level the playing field. Take advantage of them. Go to school. Work hard. Study. Educate yourself.

I think most white people are racists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We should not allow AA's to play the race card anymore

Ok--you go ahead and stop them.

Curious, why do have this opinion? Is it because racism is over?

You can either a) wallow in the past and blame everybody who ever wronged you and use it as an excuse to engage in self destructive behavior or b) Get on with your life and better yourself. It's been 50 years since civil rights, there's been enough focus on the past. Now it's time to look to the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was just reading the 'if two couples work 80 hr a week' thread and posters (high powered working moms mind you) said the OP would need 2-3 nannies and a housekeeper (and gardeners, maids, handymen etc) and it still would not work out for her. So basically all the big law, doctor, banker moms agreed 1 SAHM > 5+ employees. CASE CLOSED FOR GOOD WOHMS.

Im sure the average SAHM does tons of gardening and handyman work.
No one employs a handyman.
And most WOHMs don't work those hours.
Yeah, you fail.

No fail, that thread was about what a neglectful mom would require for full time household help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way I see it, there are two types of SAHMs. Those that have to because their salary will not cover childcare and those who are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows them to stay home.

To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.

FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.

FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.

So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.

As soon as WOHMs rock their decision and acknowledge that they really are NOT with their kids most of the day. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that - doesn't mean you're not bonded or have a great relationship. But don't act like being away all day long is EXACTLY the same as being home all day.

do you homeschool? how are your kids home all day?

They are young. One is home all day. One is in preschool 3 morning a week. And one is in K.

You probably don't remember this because you were at work (sorry - couldn't resist), but your children were very little at one point and weren't in school for 6 hrs/day.

Sorry wrong - my child was in an orphanage at that point. Your kids will be in school before you know it.

Couldn't resist that one, could you? Martyr, much?

When someone accuses me of not remembering my child's babyhood - yes I need to point out that in fact she wasn't with me at the time. I am not sure how adopting makes me a martyr. That must be your warped perspective.

Now you are being accused of missing your childs toddlerhood.

Where are you PP there are questions

[Anonymous]

My decision to stay at home made my family's life more, not less, complicated. We had financial issues that wouldn't have happened had I kept working, including health insurance issues (DH's plan is horrid and I was a fed).

I fell into a depression due to the isolation and difficulty handling two kids under three (ended up putting the oldest in a near full time preschool because I was so overwhelmed). I cry on a regular basis. My marriage has taken a toll. I went from a put together, happy, interesting woman to a stressed shell of a human. And I directly point to a decision made in a hazy period right after I had my second to stay home. It was such a mistake and I regret it on a daily basis. My therapist basically told me the same point...all of my problems are because I'm a home full time.

I am trying to go back to work now. No luck so far. This just adds salt to the bad decision wound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that most infertile people are infertile for a reason, and they should not push the issue. It's just a natural selection, and some genes just don't mean to be reproduced. I have not yet met a good parent of artificially created child.

I don't agree about the "good parent" part, but I think you have a point about being infertile for some biological reason and it being part of natural selection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that most infertile people are infertile for a reason, and they should not push the issue. It's just a natural selection, and some genes just don't mean to be reproduced. I have not yet met a good parent of artificially created child.

I don't agree about the "good parent" part, but I think you have a point about being infertile for some biological reason and it being part of natural selection.

add to that women who miscarry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that most infertile people are infertile for a reason, and they should not push the issue. It's just a natural selection, and some genes just don't mean to be reproduced. I have not yet met a good parent of artificially created child.

I don't agree about the "good parent" part, but I think you have a point about being infertile for some biological reason and it being part of natural selection.

I wouldn't put it so bluntly but I do wonder if there will be some underlying issues that IVF kids will have that will only become apparent as this generation gets older. That is NOT to say infertile women shouldn't do IVF - I would have had I not been able to conceive - but I've thought about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that most infertile people are infertile for a reason, and they should not push the issue. It's just a natural selection, and some genes just don't mean to be reproduced. I have not yet met a good parent of artificially created child.

Define "good parent." There are plenty of drug abusers, sexual predators, violent criminals that are fertile. I guess you think they are "good parents" and their "genes are meant to reproduce." Congrats you are fertile but your "thinking" is wrong.

My definition of a good parent probably not in minority, so it would not be appropriate to post it in this discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that most infertile people are infertile for a reason, and they should not push the issue. It's just a natural selection, and some genes just don't mean to be reproduced. I have not yet met a good parent of artificially created child.

I don't agree about the "good parent" part, but I think you have a point about being infertile for some biological reason and it being part of natural selection.

I wouldn't put it so bluntly but I do wonder if there will be some underlying issues that IVF kids will have that will only become apparent as this generation gets older. That is NOT to say infertile women shouldn't do IVF - I would have had I not been able to conceive - but I've thought about it.

We will see it in a near future, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way I see it, there are two types of SAHMs. Those that have to because their salary will not cover childcare and those who are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows them to stay home.

To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.

FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.

FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.

So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.

As soon as WOHMs rock their decision and acknowledge that they really are NOT with their kids most of the day. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that - doesn't mean you're not bonded or have a great relationship. But don't act like being away all day long is EXACTLY the same as being home all day.

do you homeschool? how are your kids home all day?

They are young. One is home all day. One is in preschool 3 morning a week. And one is in K.

You probably don't remember this because you were at work (sorry - couldn't resist), but your children were very little at one point and weren't in school for 6 hrs/day.

Sorry wrong - my child was in an orphanage at that point. Your kids will be in school before you know it.

Couldn't resist that one, could you? Martyr, much?

When someone accuses me of not remembering my child's babyhood - yes I need to point out that in fact she wasn't with me at the time. I am not sure how adopting makes me a martyr. That must be your warped perspective.

Now you are being accused of missing your childs toddlerhood.

Where are you PP there are questions

Not PP - but what questions?