How do I talk about this with the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has to be a troll. This story is way to pathetic to be true.

I'm thinking op is a troll too. Not necessarily b/c of the story (I have a friend in essentially the same situation but they are finally getting divorced). I think OP's 'voice'' sounds familiar from another thread a year or two ago (can't even remember the topic).

I am not a troll. Surely DCUM allows repeat posting, especially on different topics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was the love child in a similar situation.

I would see my half-siblings (2 older, 1 younger) and all adults knew the situation.

They knew I was their sister and that I lived with my mom.

They moved away when I was little and by the time they moved back to the area a few years later, my family situation has changed and I had forgotten them, so we didn't see each other again as kids. I found out when I was an adult that they existed and I looked for them on social media, but never contacted them.

But a couple of years ago one of them contacted me. She had been looking for me for years. It has been nice to get to know them again. They are like distant cousins to me. The one who is younger isn't interested in getting to know me but the older ones remember me.

Thank you. May I ask what the adults in your life told you about this situation when you were little? Were you satisfied with it? Did you wish something was said or done differently?

That is complicated.

I don't remember them from my childhood. I have vague memories of playing with some kids but can't really remember specifics. The adults in my life didn't really talk about the other family (who stayed married until the wife died). So when I realized they existed...and that I lived not very far from one of them, I felt a little blindsided. But after that I got kind of excited. I wasn't going to reach out to them yet, but when they contacted me, it was nice to learn about them. Because I was young when they moved, I didn't ever feel that I lacked anything. I think the older ones missed me because they remembered me.

The older kids have a couple of pictures of me with them as a kid. That blew my mind. We (the middle-aged kids) agree that we can't blame each other for what happened between our parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has to be a troll. This story is way to pathetic to be true.

I'm thinking op is a troll too. Not necessarily b/c of the story (I have a friend in essentially the same situation but they are finally getting divorced). I think OP's 'voice'' sounds familiar from another thread a year or two ago (can't even remember the topic).

I am not a troll. Surely DCUM allows repeat posting, especially on different topics.

Of course OP. But your responses sound similar in nature to this other thread I'm recalling & the OP of that thread was also suspected of being a troll. I don't really care either way. Your situation sounds seriously fucked up. I'd get professional advice on how to minimize trauma for your kids. Your husband sounds like a complete a$$hole.