*** "THE BEST OF DCUM" **

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll add the 40 year old grandmother who's bragging to us about how her kids all went to "top 25" universities and anyone who had BRUNCH in their 20s is a degenerate who doesn't know the meaning in their life.

Brunch Grandma! Always one of my favorites.

Honestly I'd love to take her out to brunch sometime. She seems really unhappy, maybe a couple mimosas and some girl talk will help cheer her up.

I'm 47, not 40. But I get it, you envision a teen mom, so you can snicker and briefly feel superior about your faux #GirlBoss lot in life. I hope you feel super sophisticated and bourgeois at your trendy brunch spots, never reflecting that you're only there to day drink as you try to drown out another boring and unfulfilled weekend and lack of purpose in your life. Well, aside from your cat or dog, of course. Post more pictures of it on social media, oblivious to the fact this is your maternal instincts yearning for an actual baby to carry on the species, to not be a genetic dead-end, to not die alone in a group home.

No way is this for real??? Hahaha I wasn’t aware of the existence of this poster, this is gold.

This reveals me as a DCUM obsessive - but I recognize her not just from this recent thread (about British women not having so many babies when they're young) and on every single thread about a celebrity who does or doesn't have children. The ones who do have kids are of course ignoring them and are therefore bad people who like brunch too much. Those who don't have kids are empty vessels who will never know life's true purpose because they like brunch too much. I think you can find her in other forums too but that's where I see her the most. And of course any thread where someone discusses the decision not to have kids - sometimes but not always because of brunch.

She's also all over the Pet Forum hating on dogs and ESPECIALLY anything that even grazes on something that encroaches on the territory of kids or compares them in any way.

Typical posting:

OP: "My dog has been sick with diarrhea for 3 days and has now mostly stopped eating. What can I do to help her? I feel so bad for my poor baby."

Brunch Mom: "OMG a dog is NOT a baby. How pathetic are you and how sad is your life that you go around acting like a dog is a child! I'm so sick of these pathetic women who have never known the joy of motherhood acting like their dumb dogs matter, pushing them in strollers (she is OBSESSED with the stroller thing, no matter how many level-headed people have explained this is usually done for old/incapacitated dogs to give them some joy in their lives, not because people think they're kids....) taking them everywhere with them. Dumb spinsters need to get a clue. You need to have kids to be a MOTHER. I love motherhood and these crazy people will NEVER get it.

I would never get a dog, they're expensive and disgusting."

Everyone else:

OMG is that her, too? I would love to compare how much time someone spends at brunch v the amount of time she spends posting about brunch, sometime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone find me the link to the woman with the fruit bowl for the disgusting guests who must eat three times a day when her kitchen IS CLOSED


I’d be so grateful

First appearance:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/691252.page

Round two:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/814282.page

Burger King Hostess is the worst. My God, I feel creeped out just thinking about visiting her. Imagine if she were your stepmom?
Once would be enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where is the one where the lady was feeding her male teens like "two whol chicken legs!" ??

This one! It’s great.
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/465595.page

Now someone please tell me where 47-year-old brunch grandma who hates dogs is?

This is the British Women thread. It’s long, she really gets going a few pages in: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1033269.page

[Anonymous]

I liked that one in Money and Finance with a poster who claimed she has a comfortable life with no debt, college tuition fully funded for 3 kids, millions in retirement funds, yearly vacations, and financial support for ILs on $125K/year and berated the younger generation who can't get their act together and buy SFH in DC area today. Then she posted that she lives in a 3 bed/1 bath rancher with her 3 kids, H, and ILs and that she showers while her FIL uses the toilet at the same time in their small bathroom Then she called me an entitled brat for not being able to (hypothetically) poop while my FIL is naked in the same bathroom, maybe 1 ft from me. I'm sorry, I just can't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I liked that one in Money and Finance with a poster who claimed she has a comfortable life with no debt, college tuition fully funded for 3 kids, millions in retirement funds, yearly vacations, and financial support for ILs on $125K/year and berated the younger generation who can't get their act together and buy SFH in DC area today. Then she posted that she lives in a 3 bed/1 bath rancher with her 3 kids, H, and ILs and that she showers while her FIL uses the toilet at the same time in their small bathroom Then she called me an entitled brat for not being able to (hypothetically) poop while my FIL is naked in the same bathroom, maybe 1 ft from me. I'm sorry, I just can't.

Thanks for the laugh … ya, noooooooooo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where is the one where the lady was feeding her male teens like "two whol chicken legs!" ??

This one! It’s great.
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/465595.page

Now someone please tell me where 47-year-old brunch grandma who hates dogs is?

This is the British Women thread. It’s long, she really gets going a few pages in: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1033269.page

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll add the 40 year old grandmother who's bragging to us about how her kids all went to "top 25" universities and anyone who had BRUNCH in their 20s is a degenerate who doesn't know the meaning in their life.

Brunch Grandma! Always one of my favorites.

Honestly I'd love to take her out to brunch sometime. She seems really unhappy, maybe a couple mimosas and some girl talk will help cheer her up.

I'm 47, not 40. But I get it, you envision a teen mom, so you can snicker and briefly feel superior about your faux #GirlBoss lot in life. I hope you feel super sophisticated and bourgeois at your trendy brunch spots, never reflecting that you're only there to day drink as you try to drown out another boring and unfulfilled weekend and lack of purpose in your life. Well, aside from your cat or dog, of course. Post more pictures of it on social media, oblivious to the fact this is your maternal instincts yearning for an actual baby to carry on the species, to not be a genetic dead-end, to not die alone in a group home.

No way is this for real??? Hahaha I wasn’t aware of the existence of this poster, this is gold.

This reveals me as a DCUM obsessive - but I recognize her not just from this recent thread (about British women not having so many babies when they're young) and on every single thread about a celebrity who does or doesn't have children. The ones who do have kids are of course ignoring them and are therefore bad people who like brunch too much. Those who don't have kids are empty vessels who will never know life's true purpose because they like brunch too much. I think you can find her in other forums too but that's where I see her the most. And of course any thread where someone discusses the decision not to have kids - sometimes but not always because of brunch.

She's also all over the Pet Forum hating on dogs and ESPECIALLY anything that even grazes on something that encroaches on the territory of kids or compares them in any way.

Typical posting:

OP: "My dog has been sick with diarrhea for 3 days and has now mostly stopped eating. What can I do to help her? I feel so bad for my poor baby."

Brunch Mom: "OMG a dog is NOT a baby. How pathetic are you and how sad is your life that you go around acting like a dog is a child! I'm so sick of these pathetic women who have never known the joy of motherhood acting like their dumb dogs matter, pushing them in strollers (she is OBSESSED with the stroller thing, no matter how many level-headed people have explained this is usually done for old/incapacitated dogs to give them some joy in their lives, not because people think they're kids....) taking them everywhere with them. Dumb spinsters need to get a clue. You need to have kids to be a MOTHER. I love motherhood and these crazy people will NEVER get it.

I would never get a dog, they're expensive and disgusting."

Everyone else:

OMG is that her, too? I would love to compare how much time someone spends at brunch v the amount of time she spends posting about brunch, sometime.

Jeff would have to confirm, but I'm pretty sure it is. It's the same theme and the same writing style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll add the 40 year old grandmother who's bragging to us about how her kids all went to "top 25" universities and anyone who had BRUNCH in their 20s is a degenerate who doesn't know the meaning in their life.

Brunch Grandma! Always one of my favorites.

Honestly I'd love to take her out to brunch sometime. She seems really unhappy, maybe a couple mimosas and some girl talk will help cheer her up.

I'm 47, not 40. But I get it, you envision a teen mom, so you can snicker and briefly feel superior about your faux #GirlBoss lot in life. I hope you feel super sophisticated and bourgeois at your trendy brunch spots, never reflecting that you're only there to day drink as you try to drown out another boring and unfulfilled weekend and lack of purpose in your life. Well, aside from your cat or dog, of course. Post more pictures of it on social media, oblivious to the fact this is your maternal instincts yearning for an actual baby to carry on the species, to not be a genetic dead-end, to not die alone in a group home.

No way is this for real??? Hahaha I wasn’t aware of the existence of this poster, this is gold.

This reveals me as a DCUM obsessive - but I recognize her not just from this recent thread (about British women not having so many babies when they're young) and on every single thread about a celebrity who does or doesn't have children. The ones who do have kids are of course ignoring them and are therefore bad people who like brunch too much. Those who don't have kids are empty vessels who will never know life's true purpose because they like brunch too much. I think you can find her in other forums too but that's where I see her the most. And of course any thread where someone discusses the decision not to have kids - sometimes but not always because of brunch.

She's also all over the Pet Forum hating on dogs and ESPECIALLY anything that even grazes on something that encroaches on the territory of kids or compares them in any way.

Typical posting:

OP: "My dog has been sick with diarrhea for 3 days and has now mostly stopped eating. What can I do to help her? I feel so bad for my poor baby."

Brunch Mom: "OMG a dog is NOT a baby. How pathetic are you and how sad is your life that you go around acting like a dog is a child! I'm so sick of these pathetic women who have never known the joy of motherhood acting like their dumb dogs matter, pushing them in strollers (she is OBSESSED with the stroller thing, no matter how many level-headed people have explained this is usually done for old/incapacitated dogs to give them some joy in their lives, not because people think they're kids....) taking them everywhere with them. Dumb spinsters need to get a clue. You need to have kids to be a MOTHER. I love motherhood and these crazy people will NEVER get it.

I would never get a dog, they're expensive and disgusting."

Everyone else:

Omg, hilarious and frightening!

"Unhinged" is overused here, but I do think it fits this poster to a T.

Welcome to the DCUM cannon Brunch Mom!

Is this the brunch one? I still stand by my hypothesis that this person is a male obsessed with eggs and fertility. He keeps posting about women wasting their good eggs and going to brunch to eat frittata (which is basically an omelette) or eggs Benedict instead. I wonder if he has a hard time eating eggs. He sounds to me like a religious nut who wants to control the whole ovulation process and he can't. He's obsessed with fertility - in us, in hens.

I think Brunch Mom Dog Hater is a woman, but the "Gal guy" made an appearance on the British woman thread as well. He is definitely obsessed with eggs and fertility and is convinced it's basically impossible to have a healthy kid after 25. He refers to women as "gals" and sounds about 85 years old. Sometimes uses the classic "females" where women would be more appropriate.

His other big thing is thinking education is worthless for women and also something men place no value on whatsoever. He does not believe "assortative mating" is at all a thing and thinks men universally want to marry "cute baristas with nice smiles" despite documented evidence that successful, educated men largely marry their peers. He's a trip.

[Anonymous]

Ha ha ha! Come on, some of these are just extremely clever and funny trolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Open marriage guy is just too much fun to mock.

I honestly feel terrible for him. I (unfortunately) know an open marriage couple. He insisted, she said yes, so now she has a ton of men chasing her and he has zero prospects. He kind of underestimated the amount of men who are interested in casual sex with no strings attached and the amount of women who are not into it, at least with a middle class, middle age guy. I bet the open marriage guy would be happy with just his wife but he's so irascible (from the lack of sex?) that I can see why she's not interested.

Ok so who here thinks that this smg (sexless marriage/open marriage guy) and the brunch lady would do well together and if they did so, they might leave the rest of us alone. I think they should meet!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll add the 40 year old grandmother who's bragging to us about how her kids all went to "top 25" universities and anyone who had BRUNCH in their 20s is a degenerate who doesn't know the meaning in their life.

Brunch Grandma! Always one of my favorites.

Honestly I'd love to take her out to brunch sometime. She seems really unhappy, maybe a couple mimosas and some girl talk will help cheer her up.

I'm 47, not 40. But I get it, you envision a teen mom, so you can snicker and briefly feel superior about your faux #GirlBoss lot in life. I hope you feel super sophisticated and bourgeois at your trendy brunch spots, never reflecting that you're only there to day drink as you try to drown out another boring and unfulfilled weekend and lack of purpose in your life. Well, aside from your cat or dog, of course. Post more pictures of it on social media, oblivious to the fact this is your maternal instincts yearning for an actual baby to carry on the species, to not be a genetic dead-end, to not die alone in a group home.

No way is this for real??? Hahaha I wasn’t aware of the existence of this poster, this is gold.

This reveals me as a DCUM obsessive - but I recognize her not just from this recent thread (about British women not having so many babies when they're young) and on every single thread about a celebrity who does or doesn't have children. The ones who do have kids are of course ignoring them and are therefore bad people who like brunch too much. Those who don't have kids are empty vessels who will never know life's true purpose because they like brunch too much. I think you can find her in other forums too but that's where I see her the most. And of course any thread where someone discusses the decision not to have kids - sometimes but not always because of brunch.

She's also all over the Pet Forum hating on dogs and ESPECIALLY anything that even grazes on something that encroaches on the territory of kids or compares them in any way.

Typical posting:

OP: "My dog has been sick with diarrhea for 3 days and has now mostly stopped eating. What can I do to help her? I feel so bad for my poor baby."

Brunch Mom: "OMG a dog is NOT a baby. How pathetic are you and how sad is your life that you go around acting like a dog is a child! I'm so sick of these pathetic women who have never known the joy of motherhood acting like their dumb dogs matter, pushing them in strollers (she is OBSESSED with the stroller thing, no matter how many level-headed people have explained this is usually done for old/incapacitated dogs to give them some joy in their lives, not because people think they're kids....) taking them everywhere with them. Dumb spinsters need to get a clue. You need to have kids to be a MOTHER. I love motherhood and these crazy people will NEVER get it.

I would never get a dog, they're expensive and disgusting."

Everyone else:

Omg, hilarious and frightening!

"Unhinged" is overused here, but I do think it fits this poster to a T.

Welcome to the DCUM cannon Brunch Mom!

Is this the brunch one? I still stand by my hypothesis that this person is a male obsessed with eggs and fertility. He keeps posting about women wasting their good eggs and going to brunch to eat frittata (which is basically an omelette) or eggs Benedict instead. I wonder if he has a hard time eating eggs. He sounds to me like a religious nut who wants to control the whole ovulation process and he can't. He's obsessed with fertility - in us, in hens.

I think Brunch Mom Dog Hater is a woman, but the "Gal guy" made an appearance on the British woman thread as well. He is definitely obsessed with eggs and fertility and is convinced it's basically impossible to have a healthy kid after 25. He refers to women as "gals" and sounds about 85 years old. Sometimes uses the classic "females" where women would be more appropriate.

His other big thing is thinking education is worthless for women and also something men place no value on whatsoever. He does not believe "assortative mating" is at all a thing and thinks men universally want to marry "cute baristas with nice smiles" despite documented evidence that successful, educated men largely marry their peers. He's a trip.

Sorry to disappoint, I am not a man, I am a grandmother. I am not bitter, I love my life. It seems you are projecting and all of the time you spend on here and the fan fiction and conspiracies you detail in verbose posts teases out you are childless, thus why you're so rattled and distressed. I apologize, I do not seek to offend anyone with my posts encouraging [more] women to settle down and have children sooner. It is truly life's greatest joy. I wish you both well and hope you find suitors soon. Bless your heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll add the 40 year old grandmother who's bragging to us about how her kids all went to "top 25" universities and anyone who had BRUNCH in their 20s is a degenerate who doesn't know the meaning in their life.

Brunch Grandma! Always one of my favorites.

Honestly I'd love to take her out to brunch sometime. She seems really unhappy, maybe a couple mimosas and some girl talk will help cheer her up.

I'm 47, not 40. But I get it, you envision a teen mom, so you can snicker and briefly feel superior about your faux #GirlBoss lot in life. I hope you feel super sophisticated and bourgeois at your trendy brunch spots, never reflecting that you're only there to day drink as you try to drown out another boring and unfulfilled weekend and lack of purpose in your life. Well, aside from your cat or dog, of course. Post more pictures of it on social media, oblivious to the fact this is your maternal instincts yearning for an actual baby to carry on the species, to not be a genetic dead-end, to not die alone in a group home.

No way is this for real??? Hahaha I wasn’t aware of the existence of this poster, this is gold.

This reveals me as a DCUM obsessive - but I recognize her not just from this recent thread (about British women not having so many babies when they're young) and on every single thread about a celebrity who does or doesn't have children. The ones who do have kids are of course ignoring them and are therefore bad people who like brunch too much. Those who don't have kids are empty vessels who will never know life's true purpose because they like brunch too much. I think you can find her in other forums too but that's where I see her the most. And of course any thread where someone discusses the decision not to have kids - sometimes but not always because of brunch.

She's also all over the Pet Forum hating on dogs and ESPECIALLY anything that even grazes on something that encroaches on the territory of kids or compares them in any way.

Typical posting:

OP: "My dog has been sick with diarrhea for 3 days and has now mostly stopped eating. What can I do to help her? I feel so bad for my poor baby."

Brunch Mom: "OMG a dog is NOT a baby. How pathetic are you and how sad is your life that you go around acting like a dog is a child! I'm so sick of these pathetic women who have never known the joy of motherhood acting like their dumb dogs matter, pushing them in strollers (she is OBSESSED with the stroller thing, no matter how many level-headed people have explained this is usually done for old/incapacitated dogs to give them some joy in their lives, not because people think they're kids....) taking them everywhere with them. Dumb spinsters need to get a clue. You need to have kids to be a MOTHER. I love motherhood and these crazy people will NEVER get it.

I would never get a dog, they're expensive and disgusting."

Everyone else:

Omg, hilarious and frightening!

"Unhinged" is overused here, but I do think it fits this poster to a T.

Welcome to the DCUM cannon Brunch Mom!

Is this the brunch one? I still stand by my hypothesis that this person is a male obsessed with eggs and fertility. He keeps posting about women wasting their good eggs and going to brunch to eat frittata (which is basically an omelette) or eggs Benedict instead. I wonder if he has a hard time eating eggs. He sounds to me like a religious nut who wants to control the whole ovulation process and he can't. He's obsessed with fertility - in us, in hens.

I think Brunch Mom Dog Hater is a woman, but the "Gal guy" made an appearance on the British woman thread as well. He is definitely obsessed with eggs and fertility and is convinced it's basically impossible to have a healthy kid after 25. He refers to women as "gals" and sounds about 85 years old. Sometimes uses the classic "females" where women would be more appropriate.

His other big thing is thinking education is worthless for women and also something men place no value on whatsoever. He does not believe "assortative mating" is at all a thing and thinks men universally want to marry "cute baristas with nice smiles" despite documented evidence that successful, educated men largely marry their peers. He's a trip.

Sorry to disappoint, I am not a man, I am a grandmother. I am not bitter, I love my life. It seems you are projecting and all of the time you spend on here and the fan fiction and conspiracies you detail in verbose posts teases out you are childless, thus why you're so rattled and distressed. I apologize, I do not seek to offend anyone with my posts encouraging [more] women to settle down and have children sooner. It is truly life's greatest joy. I wish you both well and hope you find suitors soon. Bless your heart.

PP, are you also the dog in the stroller poster?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll add the 40 year old grandmother who's bragging to us about how her kids all went to "top 25" universities and anyone who had BRUNCH in their 20s is a degenerate who doesn't know the meaning in their life.

Brunch Grandma! Always one of my favorites.

Honestly I'd love to take her out to brunch sometime. She seems really unhappy, maybe a couple mimosas and some girl talk will help cheer her up.

I'm 47, not 40. But I get it, you envision a teen mom, so you can snicker and briefly feel superior about your faux #GirlBoss lot in life. I hope you feel super sophisticated and bourgeois at your trendy brunch spots, never reflecting that you're only there to day drink as you try to drown out another boring and unfulfilled weekend and lack of purpose in your life. Well, aside from your cat or dog, of course. Post more pictures of it on social media, oblivious to the fact this is your maternal instincts yearning for an actual baby to carry on the species, to not be a genetic dead-end, to not die alone in a group home.

LOL. I’m 35 and currently pregnant with my second. But nice guess

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll add the 40 year old grandmother who's bragging to us about how her kids all went to "top 25" universities and anyone who had BRUNCH in their 20s is a degenerate who doesn't know the meaning in their life.

Brunch Grandma! Always one of my favorites.

Honestly I'd love to take her out to brunch sometime. She seems really unhappy, maybe a couple mimosas and some girl talk will help cheer her up.

I'm 47, not 40. But I get it, you envision a teen mom, so you can snicker and briefly feel superior about your faux #GirlBoss lot in life. I hope you feel super sophisticated and bourgeois at your trendy brunch spots, never reflecting that you're only there to day drink as you try to drown out another boring and unfulfilled weekend and lack of purpose in your life. Well, aside from your cat or dog, of course. Post more pictures of it on social media, oblivious to the fact this is your maternal instincts yearning for an actual baby to carry on the species, to not be a genetic dead-end, to not die alone in a group home.

No way is this for real??? Hahaha I wasn’t aware of the existence of this poster, this is gold.

This reveals me as a DCUM obsessive - but I recognize her not just from this recent thread (about British women not having so many babies when they're young) and on every single thread about a celebrity who does or doesn't have children. The ones who do have kids are of course ignoring them and are therefore bad people who like brunch too much. Those who don't have kids are empty vessels who will never know life's true purpose because they like brunch too much. I think you can find her in other forums too but that's where I see her the most. And of course any thread where someone discusses the decision not to have kids - sometimes but not always because of brunch.

She's also all over the Pet Forum hating on dogs and ESPECIALLY anything that even grazes on something that encroaches on the territory of kids or compares them in any way.

Typical posting:

OP: "My dog has been sick with diarrhea for 3 days and has now mostly stopped eating. What can I do to help her? I feel so bad for my poor baby."

Brunch Mom: "OMG a dog is NOT a baby. How pathetic are you and how sad is your life that you go around acting like a dog is a child! I'm so sick of these pathetic women who have never known the joy of motherhood acting like their dumb dogs matter, pushing them in strollers (she is OBSESSED with the stroller thing, no matter how many level-headed people have explained this is usually done for old/incapacitated dogs to give them some joy in their lives, not because people think they're kids....) taking them everywhere with them. Dumb spinsters need to get a clue. You need to have kids to be a MOTHER. I love motherhood and these crazy people will NEVER get it.

I would never get a dog, they're expensive and disgusting."

Everyone else:

Omg, hilarious and frightening!

"Unhinged" is overused here, but I do think it fits this poster to a T.

Welcome to the DCUM cannon Brunch Mom!

Is this the brunch one? I still stand by my hypothesis that this person is a male obsessed with eggs and fertility. He keeps posting about women wasting their good eggs and going to brunch to eat frittata (which is basically an omelette) or eggs Benedict instead. I wonder if he has a hard time eating eggs. He sounds to me like a religious nut who wants to control the whole ovulation process and he can't. He's obsessed with fertility - in us, in hens.

I think Brunch Mom Dog Hater is a woman, but the "Gal guy" made an appearance on the British woman thread as well. He is definitely obsessed with eggs and fertility and is convinced it's basically impossible to have a healthy kid after 25. He refers to women as "gals" and sounds about 85 years old. Sometimes uses the classic "females" where women would be more appropriate.

His other big thing is thinking education is worthless for women and also something men place no value on whatsoever. He does not believe "assortative mating" is at all a thing and thinks men universally want to marry "cute baristas with nice smiles" despite documented evidence that successful, educated men largely marry their peers. He's a trip.

Sorry to disappoint, I am not a man, I am a grandmother. I am not bitter, I love my life. It seems you are projecting and all of the time you spend on here and the fan fiction and conspiracies you detail in verbose posts teases out you are childless, thus why you're so rattled and distressed. I apologize, I do not seek to offend anyone with my posts encouraging [more] women to settle down and have children sooner. It is truly life's greatest joy. I wish you both well and hope you find suitors soon. Bless your heart.

I'm a married mother of two who found my "suitor" over a decade ago. You're really bad at this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll add the 40 year old grandmother who's bragging to us about how her kids all went to "top 25" universities and anyone who had BRUNCH in their 20s is a degenerate who doesn't know the meaning in their life.

Brunch Grandma! Always one of my favorites.

Honestly I'd love to take her out to brunch sometime. She seems really unhappy, maybe a couple mimosas and some girl talk will help cheer her up.

I'm 47, not 40. But I get it, you envision a teen mom, so you can snicker and briefly feel superior about your faux #GirlBoss lot in life. I hope you feel super sophisticated and bourgeois at your trendy brunch spots, never reflecting that you're only there to day drink as you try to drown out another boring and unfulfilled weekend and lack of purpose in your life. Well, aside from your cat or dog, of course. Post more pictures of it on social media, oblivious to the fact this is your maternal instincts yearning for an actual baby to carry on the species, to not be a genetic dead-end, to not die alone in a group home.

No way is this for real??? Hahaha I wasn’t aware of the existence of this poster, this is gold.

This reveals me as a DCUM obsessive - but I recognize her not just from this recent thread (about British women not having so many babies when they're young) and on every single thread about a celebrity who does or doesn't have children. The ones who do have kids are of course ignoring them and are therefore bad people who like brunch too much. Those who don't have kids are empty vessels who will never know life's true purpose because they like brunch too much. I think you can find her in other forums too but that's where I see her the most. And of course any thread where someone discusses the decision not to have kids - sometimes but not always because of brunch.

She's also all over the Pet Forum hating on dogs and ESPECIALLY anything that even grazes on something that encroaches on the territory of kids or compares them in any way.

Typical posting:

OP: "My dog has been sick with diarrhea for 3 days and has now mostly stopped eating. What can I do to help her? I feel so bad for my poor baby."

Brunch Mom: "OMG a dog is NOT a baby. How pathetic are you and how sad is your life that you go around acting like a dog is a child! I'm so sick of these pathetic women who have never known the joy of motherhood acting like their dumb dogs matter, pushing them in strollers (she is OBSESSED with the stroller thing, no matter how many level-headed people have explained this is usually done for old/incapacitated dogs to give them some joy in their lives, not because people think they're kids....) taking them everywhere with them. Dumb spinsters need to get a clue. You need to have kids to be a MOTHER. I love motherhood and these crazy people will NEVER get it.

I would never get a dog, they're expensive and disgusting."

Everyone else:

Omg, hilarious and frightening!

"Unhinged" is overused here, but I do think it fits this poster to a T.

Welcome to the DCUM cannon Brunch Mom!

Is this the brunch one? I still stand by my hypothesis that this person is a male obsessed with eggs and fertility. He keeps posting about women wasting their good eggs and going to brunch to eat frittata (which is basically an omelette) or eggs Benedict instead. I wonder if he has a hard time eating eggs. He sounds to me like a religious nut who wants to control the whole ovulation process and he can't. He's obsessed with fertility - in us, in hens.

I think Brunch Mom Dog Hater is a woman, but the "Gal guy" made an appearance on the British woman thread as well. He is definitely obsessed with eggs and fertility and is convinced it's basically impossible to have a healthy kid after 25. He refers to women as "gals" and sounds about 85 years old. Sometimes uses the classic "females" where women would be more appropriate.

His other big thing is thinking education is worthless for women and also something men place no value on whatsoever. He does not believe "assortative mating" is at all a thing and thinks men universally want to marry "cute baristas with nice smiles" despite documented evidence that successful, educated men largely marry their peers. He's a trip.

Sorry to disappoint, I am not a man, I am a grandmother. I am not bitter, I love my life. It seems you are projecting and all of the time you spend on here and the fan fiction and conspiracies you detail in verbose posts teases out you are childless, thus why you're so rattled and distressed. I apologize, I do not seek to offend anyone with my posts encouraging [more] women to settle down and have children sooner. It is truly life's greatest joy. I wish you both well and hope you find suitors soon. Bless your heart.

😂