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Would You Be Upset if We Take Our Three Year Old With Us to Dinner Tonight for New Years Eve?
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Anonymous
And who else should it be about? YOU? That's rich. I'm American and find the lack of tolerance for children to be disgusting. I say good for you, OP. Those who would be "pissed" or angry can suck it. Stay home in your bubble if you don't like it. You don't get to dictate who goes out to a particular restaurant or whether kids are there. In fact, I would just loooooove to see your complaints, to me or to the restaurant. And see where that gets you. |
Anonymous
| This is not about a lack of tolerance for children. It's about time and place. We don't want children everywhere, do we? What if OP's daughter had not been in good spirits and had fussed and even cried? Then what? Children are unpredictable. Even the best of them get cranky when they're coming down with something. OP isn't psychic. She couldn't be certain that her daughter would have a good night. OP was asking everyone sitting near her and her family to assume the risk of their daughter not having a great evening. Count me out. |
Anonymous
| I don't know if anyone reads tom sietsama's chat on Washington post but a question quite similar to this sceanrio was raised and it basically got the same response. Inappropriate to bring a small child to a late dinner on new years eve. |
Anonymous
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Here's a cut-and-paste of the various questions/comments from Tom's chat addressing this issue. For reference, the child in the chat was 18-mo which is even less appropriate than OP's 3-yo.
Q. Baby at a fancy restaurant I am wondering how your friends in the industry recommend handling this: We sat down for a 9pm reservation at a fancy D.C. restaurant New Year's Eve. After we ordered wine, a couple with an 18-month-old baby was seated next to us. The baby didn't cry, which I assume would have forced the parents to remove her. Instead, she made her presence known throughout by banging silverware, shrieking and walking around our section of the restaurant, even to our table. Obviously, it's not the restaurant's fault, and we would have asked for another table if they had been seated first (and the place wasn't packed). Is there anything we could have done? A.Tom Sietsema : Unbelievable, huh? What were those parents thinking? You say the restaurant wasn't completely full. Did you consider asking to be relocated after the family arrived? That would have been my first move. Restaurant owners, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this scenario. Q. Re: Errant baby I think OP meant the place *was* packed. It was NYE. One thing I do when people aren't paying attention to what their kids are doing is talk to the kid: "I don't think Mommy wants you to give me her cell phone." "You need to go back to your daddy now." That usually wakes the parents up a little bit. (Especially the cell phone thing...) [b]A. Tom Sietsema : Or, if you *really* wanted to get a parent's attention, you could take the cell phone and say, "Thank you." Q. Re:Errant Baby My daughter and SIL recently moved to a new city far away from sisters, grandparents, friends, regular sitter, etc. They don't know any sitters, let alone any they trust with their 18-month-old. Should they not go out to eat until she's 6? A. Tom Sietsema : I think the issue was not bringing a baby into a restaurant, but doing so after 9 p.m. on one of the busiest and most formal restaurant nights of the whole year. Q. Is there anything we could have done? As soon as the child started making noise or walking around, you could have asked for another table. WHich might have gotten through to the parents. A. Tom Sietsema : Or, at the very least, if the baby started fussing or walking around, a manager could have asked the parents to keep him or her still for the sake of everyone's safety. Q. They don't know any sitters, let alone any they trust with their 18-month-old. This is what carry-out is for. A. Tom Sietsema : Other posters are sending me similar responses. Q. Oh my "Should they not go out to eat until she's 6" Well, not even then, if they can't either teach her to behave, or take her out when she doesn't behave. I'm boycotting my favorite Indian restaurant right now, because the last time we were there for dinner, a small child (looked to be about 1.5) howled (and I really mean howled) the entire time we were there. It's a small place, so we couldn't move. And we made the mistake of thinking, "Surely this can't go on all night." We should have left. By the time we left, the child was red-faced, and looked like she had made herself ill from the crying. And she had not been taken outside once. And then, one of the party followed us outside to accuse us of "giving them dirty looks." Since we had not been sitting in sight of them, they must mean when we looked at them in passing on the way out. The manager should have dealt with them. Since they won't, I won't be going back. A. Tom Sietsema : Are you listening, restaurants? Q. 18-to-42 With our kids, we found that the ages of 18 mos. to 3 1/2 were just awful for anything but the most casual dining experience--dim sum being the delightful exception. The stress of containing children who aren't capable of containing themselves (which is as it should be, as my parents like to say) was just too much for us. A. Tom Sietsema : Interesting. Thanks for chiming in. Q. kids Not to beat the topic to death but I had three well-behaved kids who learned early that a meal was sit down time, not TV time, and so at restaurants they knew to act the same way. However, we NEVER brought them to a formal restaurant on a formal night. And to the person who asks are they not supposed to go out until she's 6 ... sure, go out, but go out where there are likely not to be people paying top price for a quiet formal dinner! Anything otherwise is selfish. A. Tom Sietsema : I've learned, and hundreds of parents have shared, that Chinese and Mexican restaurants are among the best places to take pint-sized appetites. Both groups are particularly good handling kids in their dining rooms. Q. Re: Errant Baby The parents in that case showed extremely bad judgment by going to dinner after 9:00 p.m. with an 18 month old. A toddler should be in bed asleep at that time and was likely tired an cranky. That being said, I don't understand the aversion some people have to small children in restaurants. Unless you duct their mouths and tie their hands and feet to the chair, it is impossible to make them silent. They are human beings whose brains are still developing. Unless the restaurant adopts a "no kids" policy you just have to deal with it just as you have to tolerate cell phones, indiscreet conversations and a million other petty annoyances. A. Tom Sietsema : Right, but again, the big problem in this situation was the time and date of the meal. |
Anonymous
| I have heard and seen way worse by adults than a child late at a dinner. If a restaurant doesn't want children after a certain time, they should have a policy. If you wanted a great romantic night, should have stayed your butt home. |
Anonymous
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Here's the thing: if going out to dinner is so f-cking important, you hire a sitter. Just like the table next to you did. Which is exactly why they don't want to hear your screaming kid. Are you that dense?
Who says you are the only one that matters here? You are not. Hire a sitter just like the table next to you. They don't have family or friends and are new to the area too. Not just you. Maybe they went out to discuss a dying parent, or worse, in quiet. Maybe they have pressing matters that do not necessitate having a little person chiming in, for better or worse. Get over yourself. Its not all about you. Is this the same family that insists on bringing their small "perfect" children to others adult only weddings and receptions? Why do you think the rules don't apply to you? Are you ten? Is this what you are teaching your children? Really? |
Anonymous
Bump. |
Anonymous
Ha ha ha! I can just see the now-4year old trying to ride the cow they roll the cheese course out on! Wear your cowboy attire! |
Anonymous
I did stay home on New Year's - I don't want to celebrate the holiday with children. |
Anonymous
Hey you... New Poster.... Did you NOT read the OP's original post? If you had trouble, let me help. She ASKED EVERYONE if we would be upset if she took her 3 year old to RC at 10 pm for dinner. we all answered. It's not like she asked us how she should entertain her 3 YO and we just bombarded her with vitriol. And OP - Why the hell did you bother asking if we would be upset if you couldn't care less? It's so bizarre!!!! |
Anonymous
| Why are the children in these scenarios usually described as screaming and shrieking? In those instances, of course, take the child out. Otherwise, why should you care? If anything, I'd find a well-behavaved baby/toddler cute to watch. |
Anonymous
Because OP is one of those entitled people who does what she wants. She only came on here to get fodder to support her unpopular decision. She wanted a rousing chorus of "Of course that's normal." and "Go for it, OP" and "No, you're not a bad parent, everyone should enjoy themselves NYE" and on. She got a rousing chorus alright, but then since it didn't support her, she just ignored it. DCUM is a perfect source for that. No one else will know about it or care if the peanut gallery doesn't support her and if they do, then she'll trot this out "but I asked on a parenting forum and everyone said they wouldn't mind!" if anyone complains. She took a win-win situation and ignored us. |
Anonymous
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Would love to hear from anyone else at RC that evening to see if their recall was the same as OP's.
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
Because even when a toddler is being well-behaved it could be a loud distraction. A child banging silverware or asking lots and lots of questions in a high pitched voice (outside voice instead of inside voice) or getting in and out of the chair, even without running around, is very distracting. I'm one who things that children should be involved in our everyday lives, but there are exceptions. There are appropriate times and places and 10pm on a holiday traditionally celebrated in a very adult fashion in a location typically reserved for adult company and over a long window of 2.5 hours is neither the time nor the place. While you may be very acclimated to your child's everyday behavior and not be bothered by it, to subject other patrons to your child in such a setting is both self-centered and rude, without even questioning your parenting skills taking a child out for dinner at 10pm when you don't expect to be home until well after midnight. |