I didn't come to an art museum to watch you nurse a toddler

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Should a mother have to leave a public space because her 12 year old is eating?

If they are sucking on her breast, I would say yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This appears to be a loophole in the “no eating or drinking” rule. Undoubtedly if milk was in a cup, it would be forbidden. But, for example, if someone were milking a cow in the middle of the museum, this would be agricultural production and not explicitly forbidden by the signs.

If the milk is in a bottle, it's still allowed. Otherwise you would effectively be banning babies from museums. This is also true other places -- you can bring bottled breastmilk and formula through airport security, into sporting events, etc.

Also, you can bring bottled water and snacks to the National Gallery, you just can't consume them in the galleries. But you can nurse a child or give them a bottle in the galleries. Nursing actually poses a much lower threat to the artwork, it is insane to argue that a nursing mother is endangering artwork more than a bottle or even a bag containing liquids or food that could leak.

Neither cups nor cows were addressed in your reply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, this is nasty. Ebf is so bizarre especially when the kid can ask for it with words. Lmfao.

+1

Agreed. Ew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Should a mother have to leave a public space because her 12 year old is eating?

If the general rule is no eating/drinking in that public space and there is plenty of public space in the same building, only steps away, where eating/drinking are allowed, then a person should eat/drink in the easily accessible public space where eating/drinking are allowed.

[Anonymous]

Id be willing to bet that there are examples of breastfeeding in public that everyone who has commented on this thread would agree was over the line. But who cares? It happened, it’s legal, it’s not my kid, not my breast, not my art, not my problem. Move the f along. Everyone is so focused on the activities of other people. If you dont like something, don’t do it. And likewise if you dislike the internal code of others, cool - it’s not your code… you don’t have to live by it.

These stupid issues command way too much of your attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Id be willing to bet that there are examples of breastfeeding in public that everyone who has commented on this thread would agree was over the line. But who cares? It happened, it’s legal, it’s not my kid, not my breast, not my art, not my problem. Move the f along. Everyone is so focused on the activities of other people. If you dont like something, don’t do it. And likewise if you dislike the internal code of others, cool - it’s not your code… you don’t have to live by it.

These stupid issues command way too much of your attention.

Perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A speaking toddler can wait for his boobies. We’re not talking about an infant who is ebf.

Can? Maybe. But doesn’t have to just because op is big mad.

Doesn’t have to - but if mom makes this choice she is going to be judged as gross, rude and as having poor parenting skills.

Only by judgmental twats. So not worth worrying about.

Seeing entitled children inspires revulsion. This kind of behavior is really on the same spectrum as a child screaming and tantruming in a store to get candy and being given it. Or seeing a child that hits their mother and swears. It is extremely permissive and inept parenting and it makes people mad to see. because more broadly we are a society, and poorly raised children impact all of us.

Except none of this happened. If breasts weren’t involved this would be the equivalent of a child asking for a water bottle and being handed it.

But breasts were involved, that is the point. A walking, talking child was allowed to demand that a grown woman expose her breasts in public all because the grown woman cannot stand up to her toddler and have it wait 5 minutes. It’s honestly kind of disturbing.

Maybe you never breastfed? I never “exposed my breasts in public” to do so, particularly when nursing at 1+ my kid covered everything anyone could possibly see.

You know where you should not go if exposed breasts bother you though? Art museum. Actually topless women round every corner.

[Anonymous]

People keep saying that the mom nursed "on demand". But you don't know that. "On demand" would mean that they nursed every time the child asked. All we know is that she nursed this time the child asked. We also know he didn't cry, and he didn't lift her shirt, because OP was trying really hard to make this nursing dyad look bad and still didn't mention those things.

I posted above, that nursing always made my child sleepy, so I would nurse at some place like a museum, put him in the stroller, see a few more things while he dozed off in the stroller and then take him out into the heat to the metro, where he wouldn't have fallen asleep, but would have stayed asleep.

The reality is that nursing is explicitly allowed in the gallery. It's not breaking the rules, in fact it's enshrined in the rules. There's also no way that a child nursing is louder than an official tour guide, so the idea that the National Gallery is a place that demands silence is absurd.

The only rule broken here is the rule of etiquette that says we don't watch or stare at people in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly bringing babies and toddlers to art galleries is stupid. They don’t care. They disturb the patrons who do care, many of whom might have just this one chance to see these things.

Because the only reason parents go to art galleries is for their kids. We should just all stay home and do nothing until our kids are old enough to appreciate it all.

You can stay away from art galleries until they can behave properly. It’s not forever.

You can move to the next room over and MYOB for free. Take care of yourself; you're not a toddler who needs other people's mommies to cater to your whiny little self, are you?

You think because YOU want something everyone else should accommodate you. It’s not a playground. Lots of people save for a long time to come and see these things, To consider the history and culture around them. Have some consideration for other people. Not everyone has the luxury to just pop in because it’s hot outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, this is nasty. Ebf is so bizarre especially when the kid can ask for it with words. Lmfao.

+1

Agreed. Ew.

I tend to agree that nursing a kid who can talk seems odd. But how is ebf “so bizarre”??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A speaking toddler can wait for his boobies. We’re not talking about an infant who is ebf.

Can? Maybe. But doesn’t have to just because op is big mad.

Doesn’t have to - but if mom makes this choice she is going to be judged as gross, rude and as having poor parenting skills.

Only by judgmental twats. So not worth worrying about.

Seeing entitled children inspires revulsion. This kind of behavior is really on the same spectrum as a child screaming and tantruming in a store to get candy and being given it. Or seeing a child that hits their mother and swears. It is extremely permissive and inept parenting and it makes people mad to see. because more broadly we are a society, and poorly raised children impact all of us.

Except none of this happened. If breasts weren’t involved this would be the equivalent of a child asking for a water bottle and being handed it.

But breasts were involved, that is the point. A walking, talking child was allowed to demand that a grown woman expose her breasts in public all because the grown woman cannot stand up to her toddler and have it wait 5 minutes. It’s honestly kind of disturbing.

Grandma, it’s 2025. Breastfeeding in public is fine. Even for a toddler. Grow TF up.

No it’s not fine for a toddler to demand “boob” and pull down his mother’s shirt in public. As much as you want to claim it is.

It is fine.

If you can’t handle being in public you should stay home.

It’s not illegal. But like most things in life - a mature person accepts that if they do something they accept the consequences. Which in this case is accepting that yes it is unusual behavior in public, which means people may think or say things about it to you.

The problem here isn’t the breastfeeding. It’s the judgmental twat who should MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A speaking toddler can wait for his boobies. We’re not talking about an infant who is ebf.

Can? Maybe. But doesn’t have to just because op is big mad.

Doesn’t have to - but if mom makes this choice she is going to be judged as gross, rude and as having poor parenting skills.

Only by judgmental twats. So not worth worrying about.

Seeing entitled children inspires revulsion. This kind of behavior is really on the same spectrum as a child screaming and tantruming in a store to get candy and being given it. Or seeing a child that hits their mother and swears. It is extremely permissive and inept parenting and it makes people mad to see. because more broadly we are a society, and poorly raised children impact all of us.

Thanks for proving my point.

Judgmental twats who build up baseless narratives to defend their asshatness certainly aren’t worth worrying about.

Ok as long as you own it. But then do not get all hurt and indignant when someone comments on your permissive parenting or they don’t extend the same permissiveness to your child as you do.

LOL. More baseless narratives. The more defensive you get, the more creative they get.

MYOB.

The only narrative we have to go on is what OP saw: a mom allowing a toddler to breastfeed on demand in a public location that generally has expectations for decorum. There’s really no question the mom is extremely permissive. Your interpretation is that that is fine. Most of us find it a bit repellant. So do what you want with that knowledge.

More creative narrative.

We can all see what is “repellant” here and it’s not a child breastfeeding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A speaking toddler can wait for his boobies. We’re not talking about an infant who is ebf.

Can? Maybe. But doesn’t have to just because op is big mad.

Doesn’t have to - but if mom makes this choice she is going to be judged as gross, rude and as having poor parenting skills.

Just by people like “museum leader who sees breastmilk as a threat” and honestly there’s some people in life whose judgement no one should worry about— op is one of them. The rest of us learned early to mind our own business and that good manners means leaving a room if we’re that uncomfortable.

You can go ahead and believe this. One thing I have learned about parenting is that if there is a widely held practice that I am departing from, it’s worth considering if I am doing the right thing or not, and why. So if people are telling you “breastfeeding a walking talking toddler on demand in a setting where that is not done is weird” the it is time to reflect on your parenting.

And others in this thread are saying it’s done, not weird, and that the person being weird is OP for being so triggered she had to write an internet post about it.

I have to offend one group or the other, I’ll offend the ones who pretend that as “museum leaders” they should tell me what to do and side with the group that lives and lets live. In general I think that leads to better outcomes. But your reflections have led you somewhere else and that’s ok.

+1

It’s only weird to old bats who refuse to MYOB.

It's the flurry of posts person, retriggered.

You are confusing posters. The interwebs can be confusing for the elderly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A speaking toddler can wait for his boobies. We’re not talking about an infant who is ebf.

Can? Maybe. But doesn’t have to just because op is big mad.

Doesn’t have to - but if mom makes this choice she is going to be judged as gross, rude and as having poor parenting skills.

Just by people like “museum leader who sees breastmilk as a threat” and honestly there’s some people in life whose judgement no one should worry about— op is one of them. The rest of us learned early to mind our own business and that good manners means leaving a room if we’re that uncomfortable.

You can go ahead and believe this. One thing I have learned about parenting is that if there is a widely held practice that I am departing from, it’s worth considering if I am doing the right thing or not, and why. So if people are telling you “breastfeeding a walking talking toddler on demand in a setting where that is not done is weird” the it is time to reflect on your parenting.

And others in this thread are saying it’s done, not weird, and that the person being weird is OP for being so triggered she had to write an internet post about it.

I have to offend one group or the other, I’ll offend the ones who pretend that as “museum leaders” they should tell me what to do and side with the group that lives and lets live. In general I think that leads to better outcomes. But your reflections have led you somewhere else and that’s ok.

So here's the thing. Everyone did live and let live. OP did not say anything to the mother at the museum. He/she let it go at the time and simply vented on this board. The permissive parent brigade on this thread are the ones really hammering down here and telling those of us repulsed by this example of annoying, rude, permissive parenting that we are not allowed to be repulsed. So much for live and let live.

The permissive parents are not only rude and annoying, you are the thought police. What a bunch of entitled hypocrites.

Wow. Strawmen forest here. So defensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, this is nasty. Ebf is so bizarre especially when the kid can ask for it with words. Lmfao.

+1

Agreed. Ew.

I tend to agree that nursing a kid who can talk seems odd. But how is ebf “so bizarre”??

One of my kids could ask to nurse with words at 8 months. How is that odd?