Are you putting all your friends through a political-purity test right now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m still in contact with the Trumpers in my life. This shunning of people who super him just pushes them into an echo chamber with ihre people who support him. Part of the work of protecting our Democracy is bringing moderate Republicans back to reality. That will never happen if Dems cut contract with them. Sure, it feels better to shout, “I Don’t Tolerate Fascists!!!”, but it’s not helping our cause. It’s more important to me to be effective than for me to feel good. YMMV.

This, 100%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m still in contact with the Trumpers in my life. This shunning of people who super him just pushes them into an echo chamber with ihre people who support him. Part of the work of protecting our Democracy is bringing moderate Republicans back to reality. That will never happen if Dems cut contract with them. Sure, it feels better to shout, “I Don’t Tolerate Fascists!!!”, but it’s not helping our cause. It’s more important to me to be effective than for me to feel good. YMMV.

Trump has been doing his thing for a decade. If anyone still supports him in 2025 after everything that he has said and done, then they are a lost cause.

That is absolutely true for the Trumpers in my extended family. They would rather die before admitting that Trump may not be the best choice for the US. They flat out refuse to acknowledge reality.

They love the narrative and won’t let facts get in the way of their fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m still in contact with the Trumpers in my life. This shunning of people who super him just pushes them into an echo chamber with ihre people who support him. Part of the work of protecting our Democracy is bringing moderate Republicans back to reality. That will never happen if Dems cut contract with them. Sure, it feels better to shout, “I Don’t Tolerate Fascists!!!”, but it’s not helping our cause. It’s more important to me to be effective than for me to feel good. YMMV.

Trump has been doing his thing for a decade. If anyone still supports him in 2025 after everything that he has said and done, then they are a lost cause.

That is absolutely true for the Trumpers in my extended family. They would rather die before admitting that Trump may not be the best choice for the US. They flat out refuse to acknowledge reality.

They love the narrative and won’t let facts get in the way of their fantasy.

I have several Trumper friends/family.

We have interesting/productive conversations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m still in contact with the Trumpers in my life. This shunning of people who super him just pushes them into an echo chamber with ihre people who support him. Part of the work of protecting our Democracy is bringing moderate Republicans back to reality. That will never happen if Dems cut contract with them. Sure, it feels better to shout, “I Don’t Tolerate Fascists!!!”, but it’s not helping our cause. It’s more important to me to be effective than for me to feel good. YMMV.

Trump has been doing his thing for a decade. If anyone still supports him in 2025 after everything that he has said and done, then they are a lost cause.

That is absolutely true for the Trumpers in my extended family. They would rather die before admitting that Trump may not be the best choice for the US. They flat out refuse to acknowledge reality.

They love the narrative and won’t let facts get in the way of their fantasy.

I have several Trumper friends/family.

We have interesting/productive conversations.

Guess you are able to steer clear of politics.

That isn’t possible for our Trumper families members. They are totally immersed in the narrative.

[Anonymous]

Why would I enjoy spending time with Trumpers? I mean, besides the Constitution stuff, I would be wondering about their social preferences. Why would the want to hang with me? I won't let them say sny kind of -ist or -phobic stuff without calling them on it and that could put a crimp in their fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but admittedly last night was rough because one couple we are friends with did vote for Trump and they and their kids cheered when he came on the screen and the rest of us sort of froze. We knew they voted for him. We argued about stuff during COVID. But honestly we had kind of left it alone recently because we have had bigger fish to fry with other issues and things going on in our lives. They know none of us voted for him. They know we all disagree with them on pretty much everything. So it was just uncomfortable for a minute and then we moved on. But I thought about it this morning when I woke up for some reason. I think it makes me feel gross but at the end of the day they are good people and good friends and we do enjoy their company so I think, for me, I am going to continue to not discuss it and not let it affect our friendship. If they were more outspoken or obnoxious about it I would probably feel different, but last night was the first time other than an Instagram post on Inauguration Day that I was reminded that they voted for him, and I don't believe that cutting them off as friends is going to change anything about the sh!t show that is currently happening.

Good people vote to take away human rights from you and your children? Good people vote for rapists and people who are actively trying to harm everyone except white males?
Okay...

I'm so sick of people like you. I'm the PP, and I abhor Trump but I'm not such a small-minded moron that I can't see past who some people voted for. Yes, they're good people. The fact that they voted for Trump doesn't erase everything else they've ever done in their lives. Of course I'm uncomfortable and unhappy with their politics, but that doesn't mean I want to erase years and years of good friendship.

I bet you have people you are friends with who voted for Trump but would never tell you. Your insistence that you wouldn't ever engage with a Trumper is ridiculous - I bet you do all the time and you either ignore it because the relationship benefits you or you have no idea because they don't feel like arguing with you. Do you ask your car mechanic who they voted for? Your dry cleaner? Your cleaning company? Your boss and all your co-workers? Are you going to ask all the teachers at your kids' school? Of course not. But keep on spewing your ridiculousness on an anonymous board I guess. I hate that I'm aligned with people like you. We are not the same even if we voted for the same person.

NP. That poster is quite direct, but the questions are worth asking. If you were to sit down with those friends and ask them point blank to explain to you why they felt it was OK to vote for someone who was hell bent on taking rights away from people and ignoring our constitutional framework of governing, wouldn't that feel fundamental to how someone is as a person? I get it, I have friends who are traditional Republicans, and I have some who I thought were friends who are full on Trumpers. I've been posing questions such as these to them, and they are unwilling to engage - I don't pound it over their heads, I'll ask once, if they're unwilling I drop it. And them. Because if they don't have the courage of their convictions, I simply no longer respect them. They won't even try to explain it? That means they're cowards. Why should I sweep that under the rug? That's how we got here - too many of us normalized really abnormal and harmful behavior. I do in fact have the courage of my convictions, as friends with disabilities have literally cried to me that they're being blamed for a frickin' plane crash, and Black friends who literally said they feel they are less than human to this administration. I can't voluntarily spend time with someone who is part of why that is true, and glad about it.

So you're saying that who someone voted for is who they are as a person? There are no other factors at play? Nothing about who they've been for 50 years? I will not spend time with someone who says racist things (already cut that friend and her husband out) or laughs at federal employees losing their jobs or actively celebrates what this administration is doing. But I won't stop being friends with someone who voted for Trump even if I have lost respect for them. But you do you.

[Anonymous]

What is happening right now is beyond politics. Either you stand for the rule of law or you don’t. I’m not associating with people who are willing to sell out our country like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but admittedly last night was rough because one couple we are friends with did vote for Trump and they and their kids cheered when he came on the screen and the rest of us sort of froze. We knew they voted for him. We argued about stuff during COVID. But honestly we had kind of left it alone recently because we have had bigger fish to fry with other issues and things going on in our lives. They know none of us voted for him. They know we all disagree with them on pretty much everything. So it was just uncomfortable for a minute and then we moved on. But I thought about it this morning when I woke up for some reason. I think it makes me feel gross but at the end of the day they are good people and good friends and we do enjoy their company so I think, for me, I am going to continue to not discuss it and not let it affect our friendship. If they were more outspoken or obnoxious about it I would probably feel different, but last night was the first time other than an Instagram post on Inauguration Day that I was reminded that they voted for him, and I don't believe that cutting them off as friends is going to change anything about the sh!t show that is currently happening.

no 👏 they're 👏 not 👏

THIS. This is what structural racism looks like. These people are nice to YOU and YOUR FAMILY. Cool cool. But they vote to oppress others and cause them harm.

Well, as a woman, and as someone with two daughters, and as someone whose husband is a federal employee (which I used to be), no, the person they voted for isn't nice to me or my family.

But I should stop being friends with them because...then next time they won't vote for a Republican? Um, ok. It amazes me the kind of power you people think you have over others. You think by not spending time with anyone who voted for Trump you're doing any good? Keep patting yourself on the back, but you're not winning any awards by pretending to be friends only with liberals.

I don't think I have power over anyone. But Trump is a test of character, and people who applaud him in front of me are not people I want to give my time to. In my book, they aren't good people, even if I used to think they were. Is there nothing someone could do to change your view of their morality? Because that is what this is all about. Clearly your redline is different, and people may or may not judge you for it. Obviously you judge people like me for not associating with fascists. I am okay with that and can sleep at night.

[Anonymous]

I feel like all of you cutting friends and family out of your lives, dropping the NYT and Washington Post, dropping Twitter and Facebook. . .I don't know. It's kind of sad to me. None of my friends are Trumpers, but none of them are doing any of this stuff either.

[Anonymous]

I've given grace to friends to see if they go all in on hate and cheering on other people suffering. But I cut contact with close family who went all-in on Trump. In my case, these are former union folks who absolutely had family supporting them back in the day. I won't be exposing my children to crazed hypocrites like my parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but admittedly last night was rough because one couple we are friends with did vote for Trump and they and their kids cheered when he came on the screen and the rest of us sort of froze. We knew they voted for him. We argued about stuff during COVID. But honestly we had kind of left it alone recently because we have had bigger fish to fry with other issues and things going on in our lives. They know none of us voted for him. They know we all disagree with them on pretty much everything. So it was just uncomfortable for a minute and then we moved on. But I thought about it this morning when I woke up for some reason. I think it makes me feel gross but at the end of the day they are good people and good friends and we do enjoy their company so I think, for me, I am going to continue to not discuss it and not let it affect our friendship. If they were more outspoken or obnoxious about it I would probably feel different, but last night was the first time other than an Instagram post on Inauguration Day that I was reminded that they voted for him, and I don't believe that cutting them off as friends is going to change anything about the sh!t show that is currently happening.

Good people vote to take away human rights from you and your children? Good people vote for rapists and people who are actively trying to harm everyone except white males?
Okay...

I'm so sick of people like you. I'm the PP, and I abhor Trump but I'm not such a small-minded moron that I can't see past who some people voted for. Yes, they're good people. The fact that they voted for Trump doesn't erase everything else they've ever done in their lives. Of course I'm uncomfortable and unhappy with their politics, but that doesn't mean I want to erase years and years of good friendship.

I bet you have people you are friends with who voted for Trump but would never tell you. Your insistence that you wouldn't ever engage with a Trumper is ridiculous - I bet you do all the time and you either ignore it because the relationship benefits you or you have no idea because they don't feel like arguing with you. Do you ask your car mechanic who they voted for? Your dry cleaner? Your cleaning company? Your boss and all your co-workers? Are you going to ask all the teachers at your kids' school? Of course not. But keep on spewing your ridiculousness on an anonymous board I guess. I hate that I'm aligned with people like you. We are not the same even if we voted for the same person.

NP. That poster is quite direct, but the questions are worth asking. If you were to sit down with those friends and ask them point blank to explain to you why they felt it was OK to vote for someone who was hell bent on taking rights away from people and ignoring our constitutional framework of governing, wouldn't that feel fundamental to how someone is as a person? I get it, I have friends who are traditional Republicans, and I have some who I thought were friends who are full on Trumpers. I've been posing questions such as these to them, and they are unwilling to engage - I don't pound it over their heads, I'll ask once, if they're unwilling I drop it. And them. Because if they don't have the courage of their convictions, I simply no longer respect them. They won't even try to explain it? That means they're cowards. Why should I sweep that under the rug? That's how we got here - too many of us normalized really abnormal and harmful behavior. I do in fact have the courage of my convictions, as friends with disabilities have literally cried to me that they're being blamed for a frickin' plane crash, and Black friends who literally said they feel they are less than human to this administration. I can't voluntarily spend time with someone who is part of why that is true, and glad about it.

So you're saying that who someone voted for is who they are as a person? There are no other factors at play? Nothing about who they've been for 50 years? I will not spend time with someone who says racist things (already cut that friend and her husband out) or laughs at federal employees losing their jobs or actively celebrates what this administration is doing. But I won't stop being friends with someone who voted for Trump even if I have lost respect for them. But you do you.

Assuming you are the same PP, you are taking the easy way out. You aren't asking them about it at all, just avoiding it, and unless you hear something blatantly racist, you are just live and let live about it. And that's your choice. But if I was that kind of person, I would not have the kind of close friendships that I do with many women of color. They know I have their back, and don't go along to get along. They are more important to me than some 50 year old who is nice to me,but has voted for a felon who sexually assaults women, separates families, destroys the US govt literally and gives access to all our data to a megalomaniac. People who voted for him for should be ashamed.

I'm also a former fed, DH is a fed and I have two daughters. They would not respect me if I had close friends like that and just ignored the elephant in the room. Especially given how he treats women and young girls. If I can't confront a friend, how do I model to them how to stick up for themselves in this soon to be dystopian future? Our daughters are watching as their rights are being ripped away...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all of you cutting friends and family out of your lives, dropping the NYT and Washington Post, dropping Twitter and Facebook. . .I don't know. It's kind of sad to me. None of my friends are Trumpers, but none of them are doing any of this stuff either.

Why should I subscribe to a newspaper that doesn’t do its job? Why should I be friends with people who align themselves with white supremacists. It’s not sad. It’s just natural consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all of you cutting friends and family out of your lives, dropping the NYT and Washington Post, dropping Twitter and Facebook. . .I don't know. It's kind of sad to me. None of my friends are Trumpers, but none of them are doing any of this stuff either.

Why should I subscribe to a newspaper that doesn’t do its job? Why should I be friends with people who align themselves with white supremacists. It’s not sad. It’s just natural consequences.

+1

These are weak willed people. They don't really stand on principle and have a hard time understanding why it matters so much. They are much more morally relativist for now...I suspect there will be a tipping point for even them down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but admittedly last night was rough because one couple we are friends with did vote for Trump and they and their kids cheered when he came on the screen and the rest of us sort of froze. We knew they voted for him. We argued about stuff during COVID. But honestly we had kind of left it alone recently because we have had bigger fish to fry with other issues and things going on in our lives. They know none of us voted for him. They know we all disagree with them on pretty much everything. So it was just uncomfortable for a minute and then we moved on. But I thought about it this morning when I woke up for some reason. I think it makes me feel gross but at the end of the day they are good people and good friends and we do enjoy their company so I think, for me, I am going to continue to not discuss it and not let it affect our friendship. If they were more outspoken or obnoxious about it I would probably feel different, but last night was the first time other than an Instagram post on Inauguration Day that I was reminded that they voted for him, and I don't believe that cutting them off as friends is going to change anything about the sh!t show that is currently happening.

Good people vote to take away human rights from you and your children? Good people vote for rapists and people who are actively trying to harm everyone except white males?
Okay...

I'm so sick of people like you. I'm the PP, and I abhor Trump but I'm not such a small-minded moron that I can't see past who some people voted for. Yes, they're good people. The fact that they voted for Trump doesn't erase everything else they've ever done in their lives. Of course I'm uncomfortable and unhappy with their politics, but that doesn't mean I want to erase years and years of good friendship.

I bet you have people you are friends with who voted for Trump but would never tell you. Your insistence that you wouldn't ever engage with a Trumper is ridiculous - I bet you do all the time and you either ignore it because the relationship benefits you or you have no idea because they don't feel like arguing with you. Do you ask your car mechanic who they voted for? Your dry cleaner? Your cleaning company? Your boss and all your co-workers? Are you going to ask all the teachers at your kids' school? Of course not. But keep on spewing your ridiculousness on an anonymous board I guess. I hate that I'm aligned with people like you. We are not the same even if we voted for the same person.

NP. That poster is quite direct, but the questions are worth asking. If you were to sit down with those friends and ask them point blank to explain to you why they felt it was OK to vote for someone who was hell bent on taking rights away from people and ignoring our constitutional framework of governing, wouldn't that feel fundamental to how someone is as a person? I get it, I have friends who are traditional Republicans, and I have some who I thought were friends who are full on Trumpers. I've been posing questions such as these to them, and they are unwilling to engage - I don't pound it over their heads, I'll ask once, if they're unwilling I drop it. And them. Because if they don't have the courage of their convictions, I simply no longer respect them. They won't even try to explain it? That means they're cowards. Why should I sweep that under the rug? That's how we got here - too many of us normalized really abnormal and harmful behavior. I do in fact have the courage of my convictions, as friends with disabilities have literally cried to me that they're being blamed for a frickin' plane crash, and Black friends who literally said they feel they are less than human to this administration. I can't voluntarily spend time with someone who is part of why that is true, and glad about it.

So you're saying that who someone voted for is who they are as a person? There are no other factors at play? Nothing about who they've been for 50 years? I will not spend time with someone who says racist things (already cut that friend and her husband out) or laughs at federal employees losing their jobs or actively celebrates what this administration is doing. But I won't stop being friends with someone who voted for Trump even if I have lost respect for them. But you do you.

They are saying racists things though. They spoke with their vote. The message is received loud and clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m still in contact with the Trumpers in my life. This shunning of people who super him just pushes them into an echo chamber with ihre people who support him. Part of the work of protecting our Democracy is bringing moderate Republicans back to reality. That will never happen if Dems cut contract with them. Sure, it feels better to shout, “I Don’t Tolerate Fascists!!!”, but it’s not helping our cause. It’s more important to me to be effective than for me to feel good. YMMV.

Trump has been doing his thing for a decade. If anyone still supports him in 2025 after everything that he has said and done, then they are a lost cause.

That is absolutely true for the Trumpers in my extended family. They would rather die before admitting that Trump may not be the best choice for the US. They flat out refuse to acknowledge reality.

They love the narrative and won’t let facts get in the way of their fantasy.

I have several Trumper friends/family.

We have interesting/productive conversations.

Guess you are able to steer clear of politics.

That isn’t possible for our Trumper families members. They are totally immersed in the narrative.

Or you’re just a whacked out liberal who can’t listen to any opposing views?