Thoughts on families with expensive houses and cars who send kids to public school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, you can’t buy a house for less than $1.2M in our public school district so… it’s a lovely public school… full of kids who all live within a few miles of each other… and very involved parents… I have trouble understanding why families would choose private for the elementary years.

We chose private for elementary years because 1) we could afford it 2) we started applying at 3 y.o. into top 10 DC private schools, were waitlisted in several and only got into one school at age 8 3) we were told in older age it would be even harder to get in.
Also considered moving to McLean for Basis or Thomas Jefferson but eventually decided changing residency would be more trouble and not worth it 40K/year. Plus, our private school is truly amazing and children love it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP grow up.

Clearly, you have no idea what you are talking about.

We have an absurdly high income. Multiple Homes in the high $10 million range Yes, my kids went to public school. Had part-time jobs, worked in college, and omg actually paid for their own graduate school.

Making them work in college and pay for grad school when you are that wealthy is not something you should be proud of.

Eh my wealthy parents did and I'm glad in retrospect. It isn't like they didn't cover the vast majority of costs. School was 30k/year living expenses was like 10K/year; part time/summer work only covered ~10k/year. Grad school was trivial for me to cover using my future earnings, never even occurred to ask parents for that. I know I was born on third base, but it still feels better than just 'buying off the game'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This questions presumes:
1. Private school is better.
2. Parents should sacrifice their comfort or convenience for their kids.
3. People should spend as much money as they are able to.

I disagree with all of those statements.

On your question #1 there is statistics. Here's what google gives you right away: "Mean SAT scores for students in public schools were 529 in ERW and 520 in math, while comparable scores for students in religious schools were 581 and 572. Students in independent schools had an average ERW score of 580 and an average math score of 608."

520 average vs 608 average math score is a big difference! And these are just average schools, not top private like Sidwell where presents' kids go.


On the other 2 questions - it's individual choice. If people can afford a $3mm house given all equal I don't understand what exact "inconvenience" is to send your kids private. If a family is scrambling to save for a car, the inconvenience is obvious.

Yes, it's true that mean SAT scores are higher for private school than public school. Not at all clear if that's BECAUSE of the school. Personally, I got a 1500 on the SATs back when they only went up to 1600, and if public school was good enough for me, it's good enough for my kids.

Your last sentence is not necessarily true: public schools have changed since you were a child, and not necessarily for the better. Private schools also changed, and often for the better since they have more resources, access to better professionals, attend more educational exchange programs with best other schools etc.

Great, sure. I have no doubt private schools have very good PowerPoints about all the ways they've improved. My point remains: Good public schools were just fine for me. I have no doubt they'll be just fine for my kids, who have the same socioeconomic advantages I did when I was there age.

Ok - can you tell us what are these excellent public schools in DC where you send your kids?

My kids are in a language immersion program at a public school. We have had a very positive experience overall, are saving a ton of money, and I think our kids are learning to advocate for themselves. My mom taught at a private school and those kids were coddled.

Most of these DC public school immersion programs run through middle school only. Theodor Roosevelt runs through HS, has terrible parents' reviews (like, teaches don't teach etc.) and way below average SAT score (960 which is basically not studying at all, community college guaranteed).

Some folks do send kids to Oyster and similar till end of primary school and then move to private schools. Knowing a second language makes it easier to get into bilingual private programs but there is a very big competition as kids tend to stay in private schools.

Arlington's Spanish immersion program runs through high school, if that interests anyone. We've had a great experience but are still in ES. So far what I've heard about MS and HS is encouraging. We started immersion planning to stick with it through HS.

It has lower SAT scores vs top schools in Maryland or McLean, but immersion part might open up kids doors into stronger private schools in higher grades. Good choice!

[Anonymous]

I have worked in privates. My daughter (8) has always gone public. I really don't think many of the privates are worth the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have worked in privates. My daughter (8) has always gone public. I really don't think many of the privates are worth the money.

All teachers at my son's private school send their kids to this same private school. They get free tuition for kids. Strange you didn't use the opportunity being a teacher yourself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This questions presumes:
1. Private school is better.
2. Parents should sacrifice their comfort or convenience for their kids.
3. People should spend as much money as they are able to.

I disagree with all of those statements.

On your question #1 there is statistics. Here's what google gives you right away: "Mean SAT scores for students in public schools were 529 in ERW and 520 in math, while comparable scores for students in religious schools were 581 and 572. Students in independent schools had an average ERW score of 580 and an average math score of 608."

520 average vs 608 average math score is a big difference! And these are just average schools, not top private like Sidwell where presents' kids go.


On the other 2 questions - it's individual choice. If people can afford a $3mm house given all equal I don't understand what exact "inconvenience" is to send your kids private. If a family is scrambling to save for a car, the inconvenience is obvious.

Yes, it's true that mean SAT scores are higher for private school than public school. Not at all clear if that's BECAUSE of the school. Personally, I got a 1500 on the SATs back when they only went up to 1600, and if public school was good enough for me, it's good enough for my kids.

Your last sentence is not necessarily true: public schools have changed since you were a child, and not necessarily for the better. Private schools also changed, and often for the better since they have more resources, access to better professionals, attend more educational exchange programs with best other schools etc.

Great, sure. I have no doubt private schools have very good PowerPoints about all the ways they've improved. My point remains: Good public schools were just fine for me. I have no doubt they'll be just fine for my kids, who have the same socioeconomic advantages I did when I was there age.

Ok - can you tell us what are these excellent public schools in DC where you send your kids?

My kids are in a language immersion program at a public school. We have had a very positive experience overall, are saving a ton of money, and I think our kids are learning to advocate for themselves. My mom taught at a private school and those kids were coddled.

Most of these DC public school immersion programs run through middle school only. Theodor Roosevelt runs through HS, has terrible parents' reviews (like, teaches don't teach etc.) and way below average SAT score (960 which is basically not studying at all, community college guaranteed).

Some folks do send kids to Oyster and similar till end of primary school and then move to private schools. Knowing a second language makes it easier to get into bilingual private programs but there is a very big competition as kids tend to stay in private schools.

Arlington's Spanish immersion program runs through high school, if that interests anyone. We've had a great experience but are still in ES. So far what I've heard about MS and HS is encouraging. We started immersion planning to stick with it through HS.

It has lower SAT scores vs top schools in Maryland or McLean, but immersion part might open up kids doors into stronger private schools in higher grades. Good choice!

The SAT score tradeoff is worth it to me. My oldest kid is in immersion middle school program. We could afford private but aren't using extra money for fancy cars or a big home. I think our friends would be shocked to know we save about $150K per year into a brokerage account (after maxing out retirement, 529 fully funded).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have worked in privates. My daughter (8) has always gone public. I really don't think many of the privates are worth the money.

All teachers at my son's private school send their kids to this same private school. They get free tuition for kids. Strange you didn't use the opportunity being a teacher yourself

Tuition was 1/2 off for staff. In my opinion, the public we are zoned for is better than my private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people who are deemed as highly intelligent who buy Teslas, but their kids go to very crappy schools.

I don’t know what they’re thinking. Maybe that education is not important, maybe they think academics are not that important and they are teaching kids the necessary skills themselves. Who knows.

In our private school many kids go to the same state schools as the public school kids.

Aren't you sort of contradicting yourself here? Why does it matter if a kid goes to private school if he or she will just end up at VT, JM, or College Park anyway?

Because it’s not about the college, at least for me. I want to provide a thriving environment for my kid for 12 years that are formative development years.

My colleague drives a Tesla while his kids experience fights with hair pulling, smashing bodies into walls and floors, regular lockdowns for gun threats, low academic standards, prevalent drugs, etc.

I drive a Honda, but my kid is in a calm learning environment with high academic standards, teachers who work in making learning joyful, kids that are
motivated to succeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people who are deemed as highly intelligent who buy Teslas, but their kids go to very crappy schools.

I don’t know what they’re thinking. Maybe that education is not important, maybe they think academics are not that important and they are teaching kids the necessary skills themselves. Who knows.

In our private school many kids go to the same state schools as the public school kids.

Aren't you sort of contradicting yourself here? Why does it matter if a kid goes to private school if he or she will just end up at VT, JM, or College Park anyway?

Because it’s not about the college, at least for me. I want to provide a thriving environment for my kid for 12 years that are formative development years.

My colleague drives a Tesla while his kids experience fights with hair pulling, smashing bodies into walls and floors, regular lockdowns for gun threats, low academic standards, prevalent drugs, etc.

I drive a Honda, but my kid is in a calm learning environment with high academic standards, teachers who work in making learning joyful, kids that are
motivated to succeed.

Sorry, that does not make you a better parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people who are deemed as highly intelligent who buy Teslas, but their kids go to very crappy schools.

I don’t know what they’re thinking. Maybe that education is not important, maybe they think academics are not that important and they are teaching kids the necessary skills themselves. Who knows.

In our private school many kids go to the same state schools as the public school kids.

Aren't you sort of contradicting yourself here? Why does it matter if a kid goes to private school if he or she will just end up at VT, JM, or College Park anyway?

Because it’s not about the college, at least for me. I want to provide a thriving environment for my kid for 12 years that are formative development years.

My colleague drives a Tesla while his kids experience fights with hair pulling, smashing bodies into walls and floors, regular lockdowns for gun threats, low academic standards, prevalent drugs, etc.

I drive a Honda, but my kid is in a calm learning environment with high academic standards, teachers who work in making learning joyful, kids that are
motivated to succeed.

Sorry, that does not make you a better parent

I would disagree. Parents willing to sacrifice to provide their kids better experiences are indeed better parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people who are deemed as highly intelligent who buy Teslas, but their kids go to very crappy schools.

I don’t know what they’re thinking. Maybe that education is not important, maybe they think academics are not that important and they are teaching kids the necessary skills themselves. Who knows.

In our private school many kids go to the same state schools as the public school kids.

Aren't you sort of contradicting yourself here? Why does it matter if a kid goes to private school if he or she will just end up at VT, JM, or College Park anyway?

Because it’s not about the college, at least for me. I want to provide a thriving environment for my kid for 12 years that are formative development years.

My colleague drives a Tesla while his kids experience fights with hair pulling, smashing bodies into walls and floors, regular lockdowns for gun threats, low academic standards, prevalent drugs, etc.

I drive a Honda, but my kid is in a calm learning environment with high academic standards, teachers who work in making learning joyful, kids that are
motivated to succeed.

The difference in price between a Tesla and a Honda covers about two years of private school tuition around here. It's not the cars that make the difference in what you can and can't afford school-wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people who are deemed as highly intelligent who buy Teslas, but their kids go to very crappy schools.

I don’t know what they’re thinking. Maybe that education is not important, maybe they think academics are not that important and they are teaching kids the necessary skills themselves. Who knows.

In our private school many kids go to the same state schools as the public school kids.

Aren't you sort of contradicting yourself here? Why does it matter if a kid goes to private school if he or she will just end up at VT, JM, or College Park anyway?

Because it’s not about the college, at least for me. I want to provide a thriving environment for my kid for 12 years that are formative development years.

My colleague drives a Tesla while his kids experience fights with hair pulling, smashing bodies into walls and floors, regular lockdowns for gun threats, low academic standards, prevalent drugs, etc.

I drive a Honda, but my kid is in a calm learning environment with high academic standards, teachers who work in making learning joyful, kids that are
motivated to succeed.

Sorry, that does not make you a better parent

I would disagree. Parents willing to sacrifice to provide their kids better experiences are indeed better parents.

Sure, but (a) driving a Honda instead of a Tesla is not a meaningful sacrifice and (b) it's not necessarily true that private school is a better experience for all kids than public school. And (c) even if it is, if public school is also a good experience, who cares if there's a slightly better one available? Finally, (d) the price of these top private schools is impossibly out of reach for most parents around here no matter how much they try to sacrifice. Does that make them bad parents, by your logic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people who are deemed as highly intelligent who buy Teslas, but their kids go to very crappy schools.

I don’t know what they’re thinking. Maybe that education is not important, maybe they think academics are not that important and they are teaching kids the necessary skills themselves. Who knows.

In our private school many kids go to the same state schools as the public school kids.

Aren't you sort of contradicting yourself here? Why does it matter if a kid goes to private school if he or she will just end up at VT, JM, or College Park anyway?

Because it’s not about the college, at least for me. I want to provide a thriving environment for my kid for 12 years that are formative development years.

My colleague drives a Tesla while his kids experience fights with hair pulling, smashing bodies into walls and floors, regular lockdowns for gun threats, low academic standards, prevalent drugs, etc.

I drive a Honda, but my kid is in a calm learning environment with high academic standards, teachers who work in making learning joyful, kids that are
motivated to succeed.

The point is that even if your car cost $30k and your colleague's cost $80k, that's a $50k delta, which is basically 1 year of private school, maybe 1.5, for one kid. If your colleague has more than one kid, they could drive an $800 beater and it would still cost more than the Tesla to put multiple kids through one year of private school.

For families with multiple kids, it's rare that lifestyle changes like downgrading a house or buying cheaper cars would come anywhere close to equating to the annual cost of private school tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people who are deemed as highly intelligent who buy Teslas, but their kids go to very crappy schools.

I don’t know what they’re thinking. Maybe that education is not important, maybe they think academics are not that important and they are teaching kids the necessary skills themselves. Who knows.

In our private school many kids go to the same state schools as the public school kids.

Aren't you sort of contradicting yourself here? Why does it matter if a kid goes to private school if he or she will just end up at VT, JM, or College Park anyway?

Because it’s not about the college, at least for me. I want to provide a thriving environment for my kid for 12 years that are formative development years.

My colleague drives a Tesla while his kids experience fights with hair pulling, smashing bodies into walls and floors, regular lockdowns for gun threats, low academic standards, prevalent drugs, etc.

I drive a Honda, but my kid is in a calm learning environment with high academic standards, teachers who work in making learning joyful, kids that are
motivated to succeed.

The point is that even if your car cost $30k and your colleague's cost $80k, that's a $50k delta, which is basically 1 year of private school, maybe 1.5, for one kid. If your colleague has more than one kid, they could drive an $800 beater and it would still cost more than the Tesla to put multiple kids through one year of private school.

For families with multiple kids, it's rare that lifestyle changes like downgrading a house or buying cheaper cars would come anywhere close to equating to the annual cost of private school tuition.

This thread discusses families who CAN afford smilingly a private school but still spend this extra money on houses, boats, new cars every year and (as one PP mentioned) their own savings of $150k/year. I would absolutely consider her a better parent if she drives Honda and not Tesla, but sends her kid to a good private school.

Many kids who are smart enough to get accepted by private schools get tuition discounts. Our private school tuition is 46K but families with multiple kids pay under 20K or so, as school has wealthy donors and its co-funded by corporate sponsors who cover their employees' kids at 100%. So one Tesla is more of a 5 years tuition which would be a huge change for a child in DC, for example where there are simply no comparable public schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people who are deemed as highly intelligent who buy Teslas, but their kids go to very crappy schools.

I don’t know what they’re thinking. Maybe that education is not important, maybe they think academics are not that important and they are teaching kids the necessary skills themselves. Who knows.

In our private school many kids go to the same state schools as the public school kids.

Aren't you sort of contradicting yourself here? Why does it matter if a kid goes to private school if he or she will just end up at VT, JM, or College Park anyway?

Because it’s not about the college, at least for me. I want to provide a thriving environment for my kid for 12 years that are formative development years.

My colleague drives a Tesla while his kids experience fights with hair pulling, smashing bodies into walls and floors, regular lockdowns for gun threats, low academic standards, prevalent drugs, etc.

I drive a Honda, but my kid is in a calm learning environment with high academic standards, teachers who work in making learning joyful, kids that are
motivated to succeed.

Sorry, that does not make you a better parent

I would disagree. Parents willing to sacrifice to provide their kids better experiences are indeed better parents.

It's not about "willing to sacrifice." Is it really a "better" experience to be in a little bubble of privilege for your formative years? I don't think that's clear at all.