do people still send thank-you notes these days? what is the current thinking on this topic?

[Anonymous]

We attended a baby shower for twins more than a month ago, and a kid's birthday party just under one month ago, but haven't received thank-you notes for either one. I always send thank-you notes, and I always appreciate receiving them from others, but I am wondering if there has been a shift in etiquette on this issue - do people generally forego thank-you notes now, in an effort to save paper or something?

[Anonymous]

I receive thank-you notes for baby and wedding gifts. Rarely for birthday gifts. It doesn't bother me either way. I do send them out.

[Anonymous]

Of course. My children do too, and so do most of my childrens' friends. My friends are a really mixed bag

[Anonymous]

yes alwauys and not an e mail always hand written on proper stationary, folded note card for a female flat card for male

[Anonymous]

Yes yes yes yes yes! And am now teaching DD, 4, how to write a thank-you note as well. We just wrote one this morning before work/daycare and got it off in the mail. It was short, but she felt proud of herself and got to decorate it w/ stickers when she was finished, so she feels proud of it! Good to teach your kids early! Big big big thank-you note proponent here!

[Anonymous]

YES. emphatically yes. I usually use personal stationary, but sometimes will send pretty notecards. It's really nice to get them and writing them is a good way to keep in touch with people you might not see all that often.

[Anonymous]

Always and will teach my kids to do the same. In fact, if they choose not to, I expect my sister and parents to stop giving them gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yes alwauys and not an e mail always hand written on proper stationary, folded note card for a female flat card for male

OP here - thanks for the responses! Regarding the references to male and female, do you mean the card recipient or sender?

[Anonymous]

We never get thank you notes - not that I care. Just don't want you to think that everyone is still doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes alwauys and not an e mail always hand written on proper stationary, folded note card for a female flat card for male

OP here - thanks for the responses! Regarding the references to male and female, do you mean the card recipient or sender?

I believe she was talking about the sender. So, if you are a female, your notes will be folded note cards. If you are a male, they will be a flat card.

[Anonymous]

I send them, but only because people will get upset if I don't. I would rather call or email and thank them. For me, it's a waste of paper and I end up throwing them out.

I am totally fine if I don't receive a thank you note. Usually, I get thanked in person for giving the gift when I hand it to them. I don't need more than that. Everyone is different though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We attended a baby shower for twins more than a month ago, and a kid's birthday party just under one month ago, but haven't received thank-you notes for either one. I always send thank-you notes, and I always appreciate receiving them from others, but I am wondering if there has been a shift in etiquette on this issue - do people generally forego thank-you notes now, in an effort to save paper or something?

There hasn't been a shift in etiquette as far as I'm concerned and I always send a hand-written thank you note and have taught my children to do the same. There has, however, been a shift in attitude, particularly in the age group 35 and below, thinking they they are "too busy" and "have such busy lives" that good manners do not apply to them. Emails, telephone calls, are, in my opinion, better than nothing, but not proper. For a wedding gift, however, I expect a good old-fashioned thank you note.

I have a niece and nephew who never say thank you and I stopped sending them gifts and told them why. They didn't care.

[Anonymous]

I always send thank you notes. I don't expect one for a kid's birthday and am pleasantly surprised when I receive one. It makes me think the parent is classy and thoughful. I assume I'll get one for a shower or wedding gift, but that isn't always the case. I try to just assume they are thoughtful people who are just really busy and have many stressors, but if I have given someone many gifts and never get a thank you I find it tacky.

For example SIL makes it clear for her birthday and any events she hosts she wants money or a gift card. We do that and give gifts for her kids. She rarely says thank you let alone writes anything, but I think in DH's family they weren't taught to do this because another one of his relatives told me how touched she was to get a thank you note from me. She said it was the first family thank you note she had received ever and then in front of everyone she made a snide comment about how I should teach my sibling in-laws how to write one. Whatever.

[Anonymous]

My current thinking is that they are a complete waste of time. Hate sending them, hate getting them. straight in the trash. Lets all agree not to bother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My current thinking is that they are a complete waste of time. Hate sending them, hate getting them. straight in the trash. Lets all agree not to bother.

Obviously, you chew with your mouth open, pick your nose and your teeth, belch and pass gas in public; good manners are not a waste of time.